Nagi's Journal
by Yanagi-sen
Summary: new sequel... the Heart's Cry... for the one year anniversary of the Journal!!!
1. Day 1: My Life and this Crappy Assignmen...

Nagi's Journal

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 1: My Life and This Crappy Assignment

This is so dumb.What an idiotic assignment.I don't know why I'm even bothering with this; I won't be able to turn it in anyways.Not this version.I suppose I should explain what I'm doing first of all…my teacher, who's name I'm not going to mention cause what we call her isn't too polite, wants us to write everyday in a journal.What a piece of crap!We're supposed to write what we do, where we go, how we feel, about our families and friends, etc.We do this for a while, and then we're supposed to use it to write some deep, introspective poetry or some shit like that.Now don't get me wrong.The idea is great.The problem is… me.What I do, who I live with, is not exactly public domain here!It's not as if I can stand up in front of the class and say, 'Hi, my name is Nagi and I am an assassin…'1) I'd get sent to the principal for not taking the assignment seriously, or 2) I'd get sent to the police for being a delinquent.Great.Oh well… I suppose I'll write something everyday and then I can 'edit' it later…Maybe she won't make us turn these things in…I can only hope…

Ok, now that **that's** out of the way.My name is Nagi Naoe and I'm an assassin… sorry I couldn't resist.Sounds like a 12-step program.Assassins Anonymous.But I really am an assassin.I don't like it.I don't like killing, but how I got here is a long story.Guess that should be my contribution for today…

I don't really remember all that much about my childhood.For the most part, it sucked.My first memories of my parents are of them fighting.Oh yeah, I don't live with them, haven't since I was about 4 or 5.Anyway, my only clear memories of them are of them fighting.My father was a drunk.He came home drunk, went to work drunk, passed out drunk.He was an ass.Mother took 'sleeping pills'.At least, that's what she called them.I don't know what they really were.I only ever asked once, when I was about 3.She backhanded me right into the wall.She usually didn't hit me, maybe a handful of times.Father on the other hand…I learned young to stay out of the way, to stay quiet.Then he'd only hit her.They'd scream and yell and he'd stamp out to drink some more.Great childhood.The crowning event came when I was 4 or 5, I'm not really sure, I don't even know when my birthday is.Schu picked one for me, but I'll talk about him another time.

So I'm like 5ish, and father-dearest comes home, drunk as usual.I was in bed, but I couldn't sleep.That wasn't unusual, I've been an insomniac since I was 3.So I hear them yelling and screaming and carrying on like always.I don't know why I got up, I didn't usually.I guess I sensed something, I don't know.So I got up, I slept on this pallet thing on the floor, in my clothes usually, it got cold at night.I went to the door and cracked it.My mother and father were arguing at the top of the steps. Father started yelling and my mother screamed back, so he hit her, nothing new.After a while he turned away, my mother was really angry.It scared me; she didn't usually get like that.It was like she was possessed or something.So she grabbed his arm, he shoved her away, she fell down the stairs.She looked at me as she was falling.Looking back on it, I realize she never loved me; there was only contempt in her eyes.I ran out and down the steps.She was dead.It was the first time I'd ever seen a dead person, and it was my mother.I remember hearing my father come down the stairs.I ran.I knew if I stayed there I was dead next.He couldn't have any witnesses.

I suppose people who don't know me or haven't had similar experiences would be shocked.To me it was normal.I mean, not my mother dying, but the lack of love.I didn't know what love was.I wouldn't learn that lesson for a few more years.I didn't know parents were supposed to love their kids.Mine never did.You only know what you learn.So anyway, I spent the next few years living out on the streets.Good thing I'm smart.Not to brag or anything, but if I wasn't I couldn't have survived.Most street kids band together into gangs, safety in numbers and all that.None of them would have me.See I was weird, even back then.I had to take care of myself, and that was fine with me.My powers started to show up now and then.Oh, yeah, I'm a telekinetic.Really, I am.I can move things with my mind.I just typed that last sentence without moving a finger.Back to my story.So now and then things would happen.I really couldn't control it, I mean, I was like 6.So it was kinda scary.You know that old saying, 'people fear what they don't understand'?Well, they were afraid of me.But I was small and skinny with eyes way too big for my face, kinda like the way I am now… *sigh*They couldn't admit to being afraid of ME!So I was pretty much an outcast.I think the nicest thing they did was call me names.I remember being stoned a couple times.Good thing I was quick.

Well, the years on the streets weren't really all that remarkable so I'm gonna skip over them.Suffice to say, I was hungry, cold most of the time, and not happy.Course, that sums up most of my life, but oh well.We figure I was about 9 when things finally changed.I'd been wandering around, scrounging as usual.When I got the feeling someone was watching me.Now, you don't live out **there** without trusting your instincts, so I took off.After a while I ran around the corner and right into **him**.Tall, gaijin, with dark hair and brown eyes.He got a hold of me and wouldn't let go.I still wasn't trained in the use of my powers so they were pretty much not helping me.I still remember what he said."Stop fighting and you won't get hurt."I'm thinking, yeah right, not hurt too badly.So I asked him who he was and instead of answering me, he asked another question.That's a very irritating habit of his.He said, "I've heard you can move things with your mind.Is that true?"I just kind froze.It's not as if I advertised the fact that I was a freak, so he must have been watching me for a while.He set me down and let me look at him.He said, "My name is Crawford."

I still live with Brad (he hates it when we call him that, but I can get away with it, don't know why, maybe he likes me better) and a couple others, but I'll get to them.Anyway, Crawford-san took me to his hotel.Actually I kinda got a little worried.I mean, I knew what happened when gaijin took street kids to their hotel rooms.But he was nice, if a little cold.He let me have a bath, insisted on it in fact.And then he took me to the airport and we got on this private plane.That's probably the only way we were able to leave Japan, it's not as if I had a passport or anything.The plane ride felt like it took forever.We landed a couple times for fuel and that was it.I was really scared; I'd never flown before.We ran into a storm somewhere over Eastern Europe.OMGI will never be able to fly again without thinking about it.The only reason I didn't get sick was because I had been too nervous to eat much earlier in the flight.So **finally** we land, at the time I didn't know where but now I know it was Germany.

That's when I met Schu for the first time.I'm not really going to go into him here.I'll devote a day just to him and the others.So, Brad dumps me off with this weird redhead who doesn't even speak Japanese.I of course didn't speak anything else.But he was really nice.Let me take a bath, gave me some clean clothes, fed me, tucked me into his bed.He put his hand on my head and I got this touch in my mind.It was the first time Schu got in my head (he's a telepath by the way).It was warm, that mind-touch, caring.I'd never felt anything like that before.We figured out how to communicate and survived till Brad got back.Then they took me to this 'training center'.It was a place where this group called Esset trained people with powers, like me.I didn't really understand everything that was going on.Schu, by using a dictionary and some really good sign language, explained that that was okay, I didn't want to know.I accepted that at face value.Hey, I was fed, given clothes and a place to sleep, that's all I really wanted.So **they** wanted to teach me how to use my 'gift', fine by me.They even taught me how to read and write, first in Japanese and then in a couple other languages.I had regular classes, just like in any school, except I was the youngest in the place so it was pretty much private tutors.I didn't like them.They were assholes for the most part, really stuck on themselves.They didn't like having to teach a little brat.Schu and Brad took over what they could, that was better.Then Schu taught me how to use the computer.I bet he still regrets that sometimes.From that point on, I did all my lessons on the computer, worked better that way.I don't like people, except for a few.

So I taught myself how to 'hack'.That's when I discovered exactly what Esset was and what they were trying to do.I'm not afraid to say the idea scared me.I'm not going into it here, just in case this ever does get read by someone other than me.But let's just say, it wasn't good.I confronted Brad.Never a good idea.**After** he was done beating my skinny ass black and blue for questioning him, he explained **his** plans.Them I was okay with.After a while, he brought in Farfarello.Not long after that, we started getting sent out on field assignments.For the most part, my job was gathering information.I was trained in how to fight, with and without weapons and powers, but mainly that was for self-defense.I'm better utilized elsewhere.If Brad needs someone killed, he sends in Schu or Farf, if he needs a computer hacked, that's my job.Eventually we end up back in Japan, nominally working for this guy named Takatori Reiji.

Can I just say that the man majorly gave me the creeps!Every time he looked at me, I wanted to take a shower.I just get this feeling he was always imagining me without my clothes.*shudder*I think Schu must have picked something up off of him one time, cause he would never leave me alone with the man.He would always pitch a fit if Brad suggested something that would put me with Takatori.I probably don't want to know.But the man was a major bastard.Scum doesn't even cover it.Farf ignored him, Schu felt the same way I did, even Brad had no respect for the man.But he was useful to Crawford, which was why we were there.I'm so glad Fujimaya-san ran the asshole through.Saved the world a lot of trouble I'm sure.After the jerk was dead, we reverted to pretending to follow Esset's plan while actually following Brad's.I'm not getting into it.If Crawford gets a hold of this, I'd like to keep my head.It's a moot point anyways.Esset died a grisly, fiery death about 6 months ago.I would have been much happier celebrating their demise if I hadn't been sicker than a dog at the time.

I nearly drowned.Lots of fun, I know.I'm not exactly the most healthy of individuals anyways, makes my school absences easier to explain.So I spent the next few weeks in bed.Summer vacation came and went.We were busy cleaning up after Esset.Of course we didn't get everyone in one shot and the twitching remains had to try to get us back.That took my whole vacation.It would be nice to have a real life once in a while.School started back up last week and we are all caught up to today, and this crappy assignment.*sigh*It's my turn to cook dinner so I better go do that.I'll get into my 'family' tomorrow.That may take a couple days actually…-Nagi


	2. Day 2: My Family (can we all say dysfunc...

Nagi's Journal

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 2: My Family (can we all say dysfunctional?)

Okay, today I'm supposed to write about my family.My dictionary says, Family: 1: set of parents and children, or of relations. 2: descendants of a common ancestor. 3: brotherhood of persons or nations united by political or religious ties. 4: group of objects distinguished by common features.5: biol. Group of related genera of organisms.Somehow I think the last one most closely describes my situation. -_-;I wrote yesterday about my parents, such as they were.Suffice to say, I don't think much of them.So then there are the people I live with.I guess we are a family, of sorts.That would make, Brad the father, Schu… I want to say mother but in the interest of self-preservation I'll say older brother, and Farf… the family pet?

Alright, first there is Bradley Crawford.I wrote before that he is gaijin, actually, they all are.Brad is American.He's tall to me, but then again everyone is, with black hair and brown eyes.He wears glasses.I don't know how much he needs them.Oh, and he also likes to wear suits.I have no idea why.I think they're horribly uncomfortable, but he wouldn't be Brad without them.Once in a while, he'll go casual in dress pants and a shirt and his leather jacket.But those times are rare.He is a precognitive psychic, that means he sees the future.Esset called him Oracle, for obvious reasons.(They called me Prodigy, not really sure why, but Schu's the only one who ever uses it.)He's stiff and cold, and can be a real bastard at times… hope he doesn't see this.I swear he's got a stick shoved up his ass.He's also domineering and demanding.He is our leader.And I trust him.

I don't trust many people, but I trust Brad with my life and other things.He can get mean on occasion, if he's stressed, but usually I only get a lecture.Not that he hasn't hit me before.But that's rare, and I usually have to have done something really bad before he'll do that to me.I think he's afraid he'll hurt me.He knows I wouldn't use my powers against him.I just couldn't.He's like a father to me.A real father.Not like the one I was born to.Not that we really do father/son type things.But I know I can go to him.He'll listen.He'll give advice.But he never just answers my questions.No, he infuriates me by asking me questions in return.But by doing that, he makes me think my way through the problem on my own.It's annoying, but I suppose I appreciate it.So he's the 'father' of my family, not a warm, fuzzy dad, but I know he cares.He never says he loves me, but I know he does.

Then there is Schuldich.That's not his real name, but I don't know what is.He's German.Schu has red hair and greenish-blue eyes.His hair is really long, and he usually holds it back with a scarf.He's more like a kid than Brad is.Schu likes jeans and shirts, and I love his leather trench coat.He promises to let me borrow it, if I ever get tall enough.I said yesterday that he is a telepath. (His codename was Mastermind, *snicker*, he hated it.I try to remind him of it once in a while.)Talk about annoying.He's either trying to read what's going on in your head, or sending things to you.Can really be distracting.I already said he was annoying.He's also sneaky, and manipulative, and cruel on occasion.But not with me.At least, the cruel part.He's always sneaky and manipulative.He also gets these really nasty headaches, side effect of his power.(I get migraines… talk about Hell.)He spent some time on the streets too, but he was older than I was and won't talk about it.But I know he did some drugs and stuff.He used to go off once in a while, on these benders and Brad would have to go get him and bring him back.He was always a mess.

I trust Schu too.He's kinda this delinquent, rabble-rousing, older brother.He's the one that sat me down when I was 12 and explained puberty and sex.He got me absolutely shit-faced drunk one night, just so I would never ever ever do it again!He always knows when I'm depressed and need a shoulder to cry on.He badgers me to eat, when I don't want to.(That's an issue for another day, my eating habits… -_-; )He's the one who takes care of me when I'm sick, makes me soup and feeds me medicine.I'm probably most comfortable with him.I'm always on guard with Brad, not wanting to fail him.And Farf… well, I'll get to him.Schu is the one who made me pick a birthday.He never forgets.He also celebrates the day Brad dropped me in his lap in Berlin.It's our very own special day.We always do something, just the two of us.I like Schu.Even as annoying as he is, I love him.

Finally there is Farfarello.His real name is Jei.Or something like that.He's Irish, and his accent can be thick at times.He's also psychotic.As in, certifiable.Now Schu-schu, can act crazy on occasion, but Farf really is!Between him and Schu, sometimes I feel like I'm the most mature of the group.Brad even said so one time.It was really funny.But anyways, back to Farfie.He's got this bleached out hair, and one (yup, one!) eye that's this amber color.He reminds me of an alley cat.He wears a patch over the other eye.I've only seen him without it once.There is this scar that goes across his face and eye.The eye itself is really badly damaged.It's still there but… eww!Anyway, he's got really pale skin, and scars all over the place.He doesn't feel pain.Not at all.So he doesn't care if he gets cut, in fact he can be quit self-mutilating at times.He likes the sight of blood.His, someone else's, Farf doesn't care.So he cuts himself.And reopens the wounds so they usually end up scarring.Unless I can get to them.For some reason, he leaves them alone if I treat and wrap them.I'm not sure why.

Farf was in an asylum when Brad found him.He'd killed his parents, but he says it was 'God's' fault.He blames a lot of stuff on 'God'.It's his personal mission in life, hating 'God'.I'm not sure what I think about that.I mean, I'm not Christian so it really doesn't bother me all that much.I suppose you could say I'm Shinto.I mean, I believe in the kami and spirits and all that.Something for another day perhaps.Back to Farfie.He has times when he's really dangerous.Not just to himself but to us too.Those are the only times I'm afraid of him.Cause he doesn't care WHO you are at that point, probably why Esset called him 'Berserker'.That's when we have to lock him up so he can't kill one of us while we sleep, most likely me.Brad would know it was going to happen and Schu would sense him when he came in.Me?I would probably wind up dead.Farf did attack me one time.It was just the two of us at home; he'd been fine earlier.Schu and Brad went out, I forget why.I was in the computer room, doing work for Brad.I heard the door, but didn't think anything of it.Till Farf grabbed me.He threw me to the floor and pinned me.He had one of his knives, he has a LOT of them, and he was laughing.I could tell he just wasn't there.I was only like 12 and I didn't want to hurt him, him being a teammate and all.Luckily, right then Brad and Schu got back.Schu just shut off Farf's mind and Brad trussed him back up and took him to his cell.He has a bedroom, but when he's acting crazy we have a padded cell for him.They've been more careful about leaving us alone since then.I think it really scared Brad.I know it scared me.Schu let me sleep in his room that night.I was positive Farf was going to kill me while I slept.

Schu's good about stuff like that.He lets me come in and stay with him sometimes.A few times he's come into my room to wake me up, cause my nightmares were bleeding into his dreams.Brad on the other had doesn't get up for anybody!He's cranky if you wake him up.Schu's more understanding, mainly cause I think he has a lot of the same dreams.And Farf… I quit simply don't want to know what he dreams about.Brad gathered us as his team… but somehow we've become something of a family.The only one I've ever really had.-Nagi


	3. Day 3: Friends (and something more)

Nagi's Journal

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 3: Friends (and something more)

Today we're supposed to write about our friends.Ones we have now, have had before, who they are, why they are our friends.-_-;I don't have friends.Well, that's not entirely true.I don't have hoards of friends that do things together after school and on weekends.In fact I don't have any friends in my class.I don't like them.They are a stuck up bunch of rich snobs.That's what I get for Brad wanting me to go to the most prestigious school in Tokyo.They've never had to suffer.For them, suffering is NOT getting that new designer bag or the latest sports equipment.They've never had to beg for a meal, or slept under a box, or made shoes out of cardboard.They don't know what it's like out there.And I have no intention of enlightening them.They already look down on me cause Brad's American, I don't need them to know where I came from.So anyway, none of them are my friends.

I guess you could consider Schu and to a lesser extent Farf, my friends.But they're also family and I talked about them already.Other than them, I've only ever had three other friends.Of them, one is dead, one is gone now, and the last… is really special.My first friend, besides Schu, I met when I was in training at Esset's center.His name was Bavol, and he was a Rom, a gypsy.Honest, he was.He was a couple years older than me, but not a lot.He was the only one I ever had any classes with, unfortunately that didn't last long since I learned so much faster than most people.We stayed friends though.When we had free time, a rare and precious commodity in that place, we'd try to do things together.He taught me about his people and told me about the places he'd been.His family still traveled.He'd been all over Europe, he was so cool.I never really learned all that much about his powers.I know he was something of a clairvoyant.Bavol could pick 'things' up just by touching objects.That ultimately was his undoing, but I'll get to that.

Bavol taught me a lot.He had this whole gaggle of younger siblings and cousins and he just kind of made me another one.He loved music and played a few instruments. The only one he'd been able to bring with him was a very battered violin.But he played it like a concertmaster.That's how his family made their living, performing on street corners and sometimes for weddings or parties.Bavol very (VERY) patiently taught me the rudiments of music and how to play the violin.I learn fast and my fingers are very nimble, but this was a whole new type of learning.At times it was painful for both of us.But I came out of it with a new appreciation for music, and able to play.He also tried to teach me his people's way of dancing… that fiasco is best left unwritten.Suffice to say… I DON'T DANCE.

I said that Bavol was clairvoyant.Sometimes 'they' (the powers in charge, AKA asses) would bring him things to see what he could pick up.I didn't know at the time what they were looking for.I found out later that they were still searching for some of the talismans they needed for their summoning ceremony.But that is something I can't write about, not if I don't want Crawford beating me black and blue.Anyway, they were looking for these talismans, very very powerful talismans.One of their 'searchers' had gotten killed just as she stumbled across a lead.So Esset brought some of the woman's things to Bavol to see if he could come up with anything.I remember they had come and gotten him from one of the common rooms where he had been trying to teach me how to read cards, don't ask, I can't do it.I watched them bring him back late that night; his room was just down the hall from mine.I could tell something was wrong.I snuck into his room after lights out; he was just huddled on the bed.I don't know what his mind touched, but it was very bad.I really can't go into the details of what happened over the next week, I'll be trying to forget them for the rest of my life.But whatever it was he 'saw', it destroyed his mind.He started seeing things, hearing things.He'd forget I was there with him.He even attacked me one time, thinking I was one of his monsters. Schu was there, as always.He must have told Crawford, who reported it to the higher-ups.The next day, Bavol was gone.I never heard from him again.'They' said he'd been sent home to heal.I hacked into the system.It said, the 'subject has been released from service'.In Esset-speak that means he was put down like a rabid dog.I miss him.

I was wary of making friends for a long time after that.We were moving around a lot for a while, so making friends was a foolish idea.Then after we settled in Japan I got stuck in that school.I don't play sports.I don't 'hang out'.I don't do extracurricular stuff.So in a sense I am nobody to them.Fine, I don't like them either.Plus it's not as if I can just tell people what I do at night.So I really didn't have any friends… until we were introduced to Scherient.They were (note the past tense) a group like us.Except they served as bodyguards (and in other ways that I'm NOT going to even think about) for the son of our 'boss', Takatori Masafumi.Talk about your nut jobs.The youngest of the group is a girl named Tot.She was pretty much the baby of the group, and acted it.But she was nice.In a naïve, not quite there, kinda way.I guess you could say she was my first crush.I snuck out one day to meet her near Masafumi's mansion.She was out in the field, playing with her stuffed rabbit.She was so pretty, dancing out there.I wanted to talk to her.She was sweet.I made the falling sakura petals 'dance' for her.Her smile just lit up her face.One of the others called her back before we could really talk, but I'll never forget what she looked like, playing in the sun.Of course, Schu and Farf had followed me and just HAD to ruin the moment, bastards.

Brad had always warned us against forming attachments with people outside of the group.Needless to say, he wasn't too happy with how I was taken with Tot.Probably, if we had been normal kids, it wouldn't have lasted long.But we never got the chance.I went to see her again and Brad stopped me.I don't remember what he said now, but I remember him slapping me.He hadn't done that for a long time and it kinda stunned me.Usually I really had to be mouthing off pretty good before he did that.What I didn't know is that he'd seen what was going to happen, and he was afraid I would get killed.I actually did end up running into Tot out in the woods.I tried to convince her to leave.I knew we were supposed to take them out that night.But she wouldn't go.Tot loved her 'daddy' and her 'family'.I'm not going to go into what took place in the mansion, it wasn't pretty.Weiss was involved and Farf nearly killed Tot.When she fell back against me… something in me just snapped.I'd been taught how to control my powers… what I hadn't been taught is what to do when those powers go out of control.Let's just say… there isn't a mansion there anymore.Somewhere along the way I blacked out, that will happen when the power level gets higher than I can bear.My body isn't strong enough for the power I channel sometimes.And I went way over what I normally can handle.I woke up half buried with rain pouring down.The migraine was Hell.I found Tot, alive off to one side.She was trying to dig out Masa's mutated corpse, don't ask… just don't ask.

How did she live?I don't know.But when I woke up, there wasn't a scratch on her.Even that horrible wound Farf gave her, was gone.I must have done some kind of psychic surgery or something.She doesn't remember either.We took shelter in the woods overnight.In the morning, we found some of the servants still alive; they take care of her now.I stumbled back to Schwarz… the migraine kept me in bed for a week.I think that's the only reason Brad didn't really punish me, I was punishing me enough.I go see Tot every once in a while.She recognizes me, and remembers my name, says I'm her friend, but that's about it.The loss of her 'family' broke what mind she did have.She is an eternal child now, forever locked as a ten year old.It's kinda sad… she still says her 'daddy' is on a trip and will be back soon.I made sure enough of Masa's funds are in trust for her care.It's the only thing I can do for her.

My only other friend, and the only one I have currently, is Omi.Omi is a couple years older than me, but at times I'm sure I've got to be the elder.He's a kind person, unless you threaten him or his friends and teammates, and then he's as lethal a killer as any of us.Oh, yeah, he's an assassin too.But he's on the other side.Tsukiyono Omi is a member of Weiss.And he's also Takatori Reiji's nephew.Reiji's brother was in love with his bride.Omi was the result.His name was Mamoru at the time.Then Omi got kidnapped, lost his memories, and was trained as an assassin.It's a toss up sometimes over who's life is shittier, his or mine.At least I have my memories.Anyway, we can relate to each other the way I can't with the jerks at school.Omi has to go to school too, he understands.And he lives with three older guys, like I do; only I don't think they're as psychotic as my family.He's really into computers too.We met when we were both on assignment… turned out to be the same one, hacking a system.I was there first, working away, when he dropped down out of the air duct.We just kinda looked at each other for a moment.Then he smirked as the computer rejected the algorithm I was trying to use.He pulled a chair over and started making suggestions.It still took us about 20 minutes.We both got a disk with the info, I uploaded my virus, and we booked.We've been friends ever since.Even though we maintain the illusion of enemies.I don't even want to imagine Brad's reaction to me knowing Omi… -_-;;

Unfortunately (nothing can ever go right for me), after Esset was thrown down, Weiss decided to bail out of Tokyo.They headed out to Kyoto and have been working there.The only reason I know that is cause Omi and I still email everyday.We haven't been able to see each other for several months. The time in between the failed ceremony and them leaving, when we probably could have done stuff… I was sick.By the time I was better… they were gone.I miss him.I really hope they come back.Emails and chatrooms are great, but it's not the same as seeing your friend in person.Plus… I really shouldn't be writing this, but since I'm not turning this one in anyway… we're something more than friends.-Nagi


	4. Day 4: The Perfect Partner (or What the ...

Nagi's Journal

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 4: The Perfect Partner (or What the Hell is She Doing to Us?)

Just when I thought this assignment couldn't possibly get any worse… it does.I should change my name to Murphy.-_-;Today's lovely entry is supposed to be about our 'Perfect Partner', as in romantic, spending the rest of your life with, partner.Why me?This SUCKS!!!!!I don't want to write about this… I mean… it's embarrassing!How would SHE like it if she had to write this stuff?…I guess I might as well get it over with…

I've never really given much thought to this.I mean, I barely have any friends, let alone dates.Okay, I'll play the game…My perfect partner would be… beautiful and sexy and smart and pretty and… Ah, Hell… okay… I'm gay! There, I said it!*sigh*It's bad enough that I'm a freak, and a loner, and too busy doing things that are HIGHLY ILLEGAL to have a social life… but I have to be gay too?I mean, I could be bi, I did think I was in love with Tot after all, but maybe that's why I think it never would have worked with us.I don't know.It's not as if I have a lot of experience to draw from here!A couple stolen kisses are not grounds for knowing your sexual orientation.All I know is, whenever Schu sits down to watch that porn of his… and he always does it when I'm sitting there in the living room, usually doing my homework, like he can't go do that in his OWN room… I'm just NOT interested.If it has girls that is.He's brought in a few yaoi ones too.I find those much more interesting.He thinks it's funny, after all, he knows what I'm thinking if I'm not really blocking him.Well, to be honest, after a while of watching those videos he doesn't have to read my mind.Jerk.

*sigh again*Back to this stupid assignment.Ok, so OBVIOUSLY my 'perfect partner' (note how our teacher was so PC in her wording) would be male.Oh, and also gay or bi would be nice.It's doesn't make sense to be with someone if you can't be WITH someone.And I know looks aren't everything but I really do go for a nice face.I mean, they don't have to be gorgeous, but nice.You know what I mean.Preferably smart, I really don't have the patience for someone I have to explain everything too.Not to mention I like meaningful conversation.They would have to 'understand' what I do.Which means… they would also have to be an assassin or somehow involved in the underworld.There's a requirement most kids don't have I'm sure.But I've seen what happens when the other one is clueless to what you do…They usually end up dead.They would have to be tolerant of my powers.I couldn't imagine being with someone who was afraid of me.What else, what else?I don't know what I want!Maybe that's why she's making us do this.

I guess I just want someone who will love me for me.Yes, I used the 'L' word.But I don't think I could be with someone without love.Maybe that's what was missing with Tot.I didn't love her.I cared for her.I wanted to take care OF her… But I don't think I loved her.That's a sad realization to make.I didn't love her.I suppose the next question is, have I loved anybody?I'd have to say yes.I mean, I love Brad and Schu and even Farf.But they're my family, I love them that way.Would Schu sleep with me if I asked him?Maybe.I don't call him 'Slut' for nothing.Probably if we'd been watching one of THOSE videos.But it would be friends sharing bodies… not the love I'm looking for.Knowing Schu it would be fun though.Do I love anybody?The answer is, yes I do.Does he know?Yes, he does.Does he feel the same way?… I don't know.

I suppose I should describe him a bit.He's my 'type'.A little taller than me, which is good, most of the people I'm around tower over me.He's really cute, in my opinion.He's smart and really funny.He's a little older, not that that's important or anything, just an observation.He knows what I do.He's not afraid of me.He's fairly independent; he's got a job.He's fun to do things with, that's important to me.Sometimes we just hang out in the park, talking.Other times we go to the movies or sit in a café.If we can't get out to meet, we'll meet in a chatroom and talk for hours.He brings out the little used social part of me, recluse that I am.The main draw back is that we actually don't get to see each other too often.

He moved recently.It's hard to do the 'distance relationship' thing.He's said he misses me, but I can't help but think that he's making new friends… maybe he'll find someone new.He's so outgoing and personable.And me… I'm withdrawn, often moody, and I don't make friends easily.Oh yeah, the other problem.Neither one of us can tell our families about our relationship.I think that's harder on him than me… I mean, I'm used to not sharing things.But he's more open with his family, usually.They wouldn't take our relationship well.If we still have a relationship that is… I don't know.I just don't know where we stand anymore.With him so far away and all.He's the only person who has completely accepted me for who I am.Ever.And I'm really afraid I'm gonna lose that.-Nagi


	5. Day 5: Free Write? (remind me again why ...

Nagi's Journal

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 5:Free Write? (remind me again why I'm doing this?)

Today is a 'free write' day.In other words, we are supposed to just write to express ourselves.HUH?What?-_-;;I DON'T express myself well.Not in speech, not in writing, well, I can draw okay.I'm just NOT an expressive person.And I've managed to waste most of this period drawing chibi pictures of my boyfriend in the margin of my notebook cause I can't think of anything to write.*sigh*I guess I'll have to do this later…

Interesting reading here 'chibi'.I wonder what Brad will think when I tell him?You know, if you're going to do stuff like this you really should keep a better eye on it.I mean… you left it out where anyone could pick it up and read it.Well, okay, so it was on the desk in your room… and okay, so the door was closed, but still.Dangerous material you got in here… I wonder what it will be worth to you for me to keep my mouth shut?I'll just leave this where you can find it again…

Schu!!YOU CAN'T TELL BRAD!!!How could you even threaten me with that?Do you have any idea what he'll do to me?!

As I said before… what's it worth to ya?Let's see, you've called Brad a bastard (more than once), said he was cold and domineering (he may actually appreciate that), and said he had a stick shoved up his ass.You said I was annoying, sneaky, and manipulative…You said Farf was psychotic… well okay, he is.You've got a lot of incriminating evidence here… payback's a bitch…^_^

Schuldich!!!Please… stop stealing my notebook.At this rate you won't have to TELL Brad cause he'll see the damn thing!It's not MY fault my teacher is insane.And I'm sorry about what I said about you.I said some nice things too!!!

Hmm, groveling… not good enough.Let's see… Day 3… I remember Bavol… good kid.Tot?OMG, you wrote about Tot?!That little, airheady bimbo of Masa's?*sigh*Someday you and I are gonna have a talk about that little aqua-haired bitch.Ooooh, what have we here?Omiitchi?Really?Hehehehe… something more than friends huh?…

SCHU!!!!!!!!!!Why are you reading this?It's supposed to be private!You know… private… like the fact that my door was LOCKED!!!!!I'm not giving you anything.You still owe me for not telling Brad that you snuck out last weekend to go clubbing.You were supposed to be supervising Farf and me!Remember!

You little shit!You better not go telling Brad about last weekend or I'll share the little revelation you described yesterday.And not the fact that you're gay.Like we didn't already know that…

What do you mean you knew I was gay?

Well, duh!I can read your mind!Besides… you're too pretty to be straight… you'd be wasted on the girls… besides the fact you've never talked about any.Tot doesn't count… airheaded bimbo…

What do you mean I'm too pretty to be straight?And don't be mean to Tot… she's still my friend.

Well, excuuuuse me!Speaking of friends…^_^'Cute, a little older, has a job, and understands what you do?'Gee, who could this be…Distance relationship… Hmm… Let me think…

Schu, my life sucks enough without YOU making it difficult too.You already know it's Omi so stop being so annoying… and leave my notebook alone!This is school… you know, school… that place you never graduated from.You're supposed to leave me alone if I'm doing schoolwork.Not stealing my notebook, WHICH I HAVE TO HAND IN, and making little comments!

Omi?!Really?I never would have guessed…That's low, Nagi-kins… I never had the opportunity to finish school you know.And you're not going to hand this one in anyways…Now, back to Omi… you boinked him yet?And no I wouldn't sleep with you… unless you asked really nicely… Or dressed up in that cute little dress Brad made you wear that one time…^_~

OMG… that was so I could be a decoy for Ouka… damn Schu don't remind me.I had to spend the whole evening next to Takatori.He kept trying to slide his hand up my skirt.*shudders*Eeeewwwwwwwwww, why did you have to tell me that!!!And NO, I haven't had sex with Omi…

LOL… knew that would get your attention.But you looked so cute in that dress… And why haven't you had sex with Omi?You need some pointers?

That's all I need, sex tips from my slutty 'older brother'.And I did NOT look cute in that dress!I haven't had sex with Omi cause when have we EVER had the chance?

That's Mr. Slut to you.And you did look cute in the dress… I have the pictures.And what do you mean you haven't had the chance?Half hour in the back of the car…

Ok, Mr. Slut, don't think I won't remember that.What do you mean you have pictures?As for the car… um DRIVER'S LICENSE, as in, I don't have one!!!

Oh yeah, forgot about that… oh well… let's see… I think there is enough incriminating evidence in here to ground you from now till like… oh, eternity!^_~I'll say it again… what's it worth for me to keep my big mouth shut?

I'm not going to comment on that last part cause I don't want to be in worse trouble…Umm… I'll take your kitchen chores for a week…

And the bathroom… and that should square us up for this little piece of literature.^__^

Fine, fine, I'll do your chores for a week… But damn it Schu… I still have to do that damn free writing assignment!-Nagi


	6. Day 6: Dreams and Aspirations (please......

Nagi's Journal

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 6: Dreams and Aspirations (please… kill me now)

After the absolute disaster of my LAST assignment, I didn't really think things could get worse.Till I walked into class today.At least I was able to hide my notebook from Schu for the rest of the weekend; we only have to write on school days luckily.I swear I'm going to have to find a way to padlock my door, from the inside!I could probably manage that… I'll have to work on it.Anyways, back to today's topic.Ms. Psycho-Bitch-from-Hell walks in, and says in that annoying motivational speaker type voice… 'Today class, I want you to write about your dreams… What do YOU want to do?What aspirations do you have for your life?I want you to write about anything, no matter how crazy or impossible you think it might be…'

Please… just kill me now… and put me out of my misery!Dreams?Aspirations?I don't think what I dream of is quite what she has in mind.My dreams are things like… to get a full night's sleep for once.To have a moderately normal life.To be able to keep my notebook away from Schu!

Alright.I suppose there are things I dream of.Once in a while, I would like to be able to do NORMAL high school type things.Okay, I don't really care about sports or going to the dances… especially if I had to take a date… but I would like to be able to go to the mall and hang out with my friend.I'd like to think about if the clothes looked good on me, not if they could hide my weapon.I'd like to hack for fun, not to ruin some poor sucker's career.I don't think I'm being totally unrealistic here, am I?Is it too much to ask for that I be allowed to be my age for a change?I got royally cheated out of my childhood; do I have to lose my teen years too?

Oh God… I'm angsting again aren't I?Oh well, I suppose if nothing else, this stupid journal is good therapy.I'm sure I need some.What do I dream?I honestly don't know.I mean, my life has been so bizarre compared to the normal kids that I don't even think the same way they do.I guess it would be nice to finish school.I mean… I already know most of what they're trying to teach me, but it would be nice to have that achievement.I don't know that I really want to do college.I can barely stand to be in school as it is… several more years… I don't know if it's worth it.I suppose I could look into online courses… Hell, I should do that now; at least they would challenge me.Then again, between high school and Schwarz I don't know that I'd have time for the work involved.It's something to think about.Maybe I should try again to convince Brad to let me home school.Then I could work at the speed I wanted to.I could actually SLEEP if I was up too late.And I could do the online stuff.

I guess college would be nice, if I didn't have to actually go.What would my major be?Computers are an obvious possibility… but really not a challenge.It's something I do, but I don't really want to make a career of it.Besides, I think I could TEACH some of the courses.And some others… I don't think Hacking 101 is going to be making the course lists anytime soon.So what else?I do like to draw.I don't know if you would call my scribbling art though.It's just kinda grown out of my love for manga and anime.And I don't think my usual subjects would be acceptable.Yaoi doujinshi, while popular with the masses is not something you hand in for a grade.I like to read.I like literature.But what do you do with a degree like that except teach?I'm not patient enough to be a teacher.Archeology fascinates me.After all the research I had to do for Esset I'm kind of an amateur archeology/history buff.That could be cool.I wouldn't have to deal with people as much.I could spend my time on research (which I actually like, don't tell Brad).I wouldn't necessarily have to teach.My love of art could come in handy.*sigh*If I ever get the chance, maybe I'll try for something like that…

It would be nice to have a place of my own someday.Not that I don't like living with people… it's just… the people I live with.I love them, I really do… but… Okay, take this morning for instance… Brad's yelling cause someone misplaced his favorite gun.I mean… he's got like ten of the things.But no.He has to have 'this' one.So who gets stuck searching all over the apartment for it?Me.Here I am, trying to get ready for another fun day of educational enrichment, and I get stuck looking for Brad's favorite gun.-_-;;And where was it?After I had spent a half hour searching and could possibly miss my bus… In his office… in the top right drawer where he had put it after he cleaned it last night!AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!Why don't people LOOK for things first?!

And Schuldich?I don't know WHO he had over last night (Brad was at a meeting so Schu felt safe bringing whatever boytoy he'd found home), but they were LOUD!!!!My room isn't even next to his and I could hear them.I'm glad he had so much fun (and trust me, with as enthusiastic as they sounded, they were having fun) but some of us need to sleep!Not everyone can stay in bed till noon.And talking to him does nothing.He usually pats me on the head (grrrrr!) and then promises to be quieter next time.YEAH RIGHT!Who do you think you're kidding here?That's what you said the last fifty times.Okay, fifty might be a slight exaggeration.Slight.

Farf.I don't even want to get into Farf.Eeeww I just read that again… that's NOT what I meant!He's either sane (ish) and watching gross slasher horror films… and cooking, which makes a big mess but is delicious; or he's insane and has to be confined and I'm looking over my shoulder the whole time.

So yeah… I'd like my own place eventually.And preferably someone to share it with.Hopefully the same person I wrote about before… speaking of which… he's supposed to be coming back to Tokyo soon.Something happened in Kyoto.Something kinda bad.I don't know everything, but he implied that there was a big fight between him and a couple of the guys he lives with.He said it was staged… but that doesn't mean you can't get hurt.We've done stuff like that a few times.I ended up with a broken arm and a concussion once when we misjudged the blast radius on a bomb.But anyway… he's coming back.And he wants to see me.I'll have to think up a good enough alibi to get around Brad.Can't lie, that will tip him off if he has a vision.I'll have to work on it.But I'm glad he'll be back.Since he asked to see me, I guess he still likes me.-Nagi


	7. Day 7: School (aka the seventh layer of ...

Nagi's Journal

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 7: School (AKA the seventh layer of Hell)

For today's charming entry we are supposed to talk about school, what we like about it and what we don't like.Somehow I think the 'don't like' section will be longer, just a hunch.School, school, that necessary evil that takes up my time from early morning to late afternoon.Never mind travel time.What can I say about the place except that it is physically unattractive (typical brick and cement educational architecture), is staffed mostly by idiots (with the possible exception of the guidance secretary, the nurse and my art teacher), and costs waaaay too much for what we get out of it?*sigh*

What do I 'like' about school?Not a whole heck of a lot.I like art class… does that count?Most of the people I know probably think I would say computers… puleeze… I could TEACH what they consider the curriculum here.So basically, I'm bored.That describes most of school for me.What else do I like?I honestly can't think of anything… except maybe the fact that it gets me out of the house on those days when Brad is… well, being difficult.

What don't I like?Much easier.Okay, I already said the building isn't very nice… but there are worse ones I suppose.At least it's maintained well.I don't like most of my classes… because they bore me.I wish I could just test out of here.Oh and one of the worst requirements… phys ed.I hate phys ed.Because of my… impoverished childhood… my body is not really all that strong.I'm small, I probably won't grow all that much more if any, with little in the way of muscle, and my immune system isn't all that great.Not to mention the migraines I get as a side effect of using my powers too much.So phys ed is basically torture for me.And the locker room… does the term cruel and unusual punishment mean anything?I'm not liked… by anyone really, so they find it enjoyable to make fun of me where there are no adults supervising.I haven't showered in there in years… I don't dare.I just have this feeling something bad would happen.And you know what really sucks… I can't fight back.Because I would have to use my powers… and that is something we CANNOT do in public.Brad would kill me.

Lunch is another time when I would love to be elsewhere.If the weather is good, we can go outside… and I can find someplace quiet to hide.If it isn't nice out… we're stuck in the classroom… The teachers aren't too conscientious about policing the rooms during that time.Another excellent opportunity to pick on Nagi!Only now the girls can get in on the fun too.Let me just say… that teenaged girls are the most evil creatures on the planet!Forget hardened criminals, yakuza, other assassins… I'd cheerfully take my chances against them rather than spend an hour with the rich bitches in my class.I mean, there are one or two that are okay.But they're the shy, timid, caring types that are the other victims in the class.I usually try to just ignore them all.Eat my lunch; unless I was so tired I forgot to make it, or I'm too stressed to eat; and bury my nose in a book, usually some oversized text that most of the peons in the class couldn't even begin to comprehend.I try to ignore the tugs on my hair.The kicking of my desk and chair.The occasional stealing of my meal.The whispering, loud enough so everyone can hear.The rumors.The notes.The snide remarks… Just another day at that fun bastion of academic scholarship.-_-;;

Don't even get me started on the uniforms.What I wouldn't give for the chance to wear normal clothing?These things are highly uncomfortable.They are tailored to you so it really makes me look like a wimp (which I suppose I am, physically).And they're gray.Gray.The most boring color in the world!These things don't flatter anybody.I don't know who designed them, but they need to be picked up by the fashion police!And unfortunately, because of how much time it takes me to get to and from school… I usually end up not having a chance to change before I get sent out on whatever contract Brad has for the night.So I end up having to wear the damn thing almost all the time… 

But quite possibly the most annoying thing about going to this school… is the travel time.Brad selected this school because it has an excellent reputation… they only accept the best… the top crust of society send their children there… *sigh*It just happens to be on the OTHER side of the city from where we are staying!At the time I started going there we were a little closer.But with moving to new safehouses and such… We've ended up settling on the other side of town.But Brad won't transfer me.So I end up having to ride a couple different buses for like an hour and a half (each way) to get to and from school. If I'm lucky… I might get a ride from Schu.But that is REALLY rare, since he usually isn't up anywhere close to the time I have to leave.And often neither he nor Brad is home during the day (once Schu's up that is), so when I have to go home (read when the migraines descend), it's an hour and a half before I get there.I get sent home on the average of once a month.I usually stay home one or two days a month too.The problem is I can't always tell when a migraine is going to come on.Talk about Hell.And I hate riding the buses.They're cramped… noisy… people touching you… I know it's not intentional… but I DON'T like to be touched.It's been my unfortunate experience that when people touch me, they are usually going to hurt me.There are very few individuals that I allow to freely touch me.

What else can I say about school?… The nurse knows me by name, probably not a good thing.Sometimes things intentionally get too rough in phys ed, somehow the teachers never seem to see it happen, and I end up in the nurse's office with bruises, cuts, scrapes, etc.Then too, my migraines.Luckily, all I have to do is walk in the door, and she can tell I'm getting the headache.Must show up on my face or something.She puts me on a cot and goes through the whole business of trying to call my guardian… someone else at home… the paperwork so I can leave… yadda yadda yadda…Once I was sooo bad off, SHE drove me home, cause there was no way I was going to make the trip on the bus.As I remember, Brad gave me Hell for that too, letting her see where we were living.I quite frankly, didn't give a damn.That was the worst one I've had for a long time… all I wanted was sleep.Stayed home for three days.

I haven't yet mentioned the pleasure that is our Principal.Talk about a guy who really has it in for me.I don't know what his problem is?Either he knows (or thinks he knows) something bad about me, he doesn't like Brad (read American), or he is merely an asshole in general.I don't know which.All I know is, when ever someone gets caught harassing me (and actually gets reported), the jerk brushes it off.Never once has anyone gotten punished for bothering me, if they get sent to the Principal.The few teachers who like me, have given up involving Mr. Dickhead and hand out their own punishments.Not that the perpetrators get caught all that often.And I don't squeal.That only leads to MORE harassment.So Principal Dickhead is essentially that.My life sucks so much at times.He's even managed to make ME be a fault for their harassment.Note the aforementioned reluctance to shower after phys ed… stems from the time I got tripped and accidentally kicked (about 9 times) in the showers.And somehow… it was MY fault.I ended up having to clean the entire locker room.The very same day, after school.Which meant I was REALLY late getting home.Principal Dickhead had called Brad… so then HE gave me Hell for getting in trouble.Schu yelled at me for being stupid enough to let them hurt me.And Farf… was just being Farf; he kept laughing saying it made God sad when I got in trouble.It wasn't a good day.

To sum up this lovely assignment.School is an evil thing, foisted upon me, that has little or no influence on my ability to learn or my social life.I would be infinitely happier if Brad would just let me study at home.I don't like people.I especially don't like people my age.And I would learn more on my own.I can't relate to normals.My life is too bizarre for that.As a result, they can't relate to me.That's the main problem between my classmates and me.I've LIVED, out there.I've BEEN on my own since I was four.I learned early not to trust anyone but myself.It's taken my 'family' years to reach the point where I can trust them.Teachers don't know how to handle this.They don't know the whole story, but I've had experiences no child should ever have to have.It has aged me beyond what they are equipped for.The few who I do get along with, treat me more as an adult than a child.I'm not a child.I don't think I ever have been.-Nagi


	8. Day 8: Free Write Again (HE

Nagi's Journal

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 8: Free Write Again (HE'S BACK!!!!!!)

It's another free write day, but this time I actually have something to do.We haven't had to write for the last week, we were on break.MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK!!!!!!I'm so happy.I haven't been happy in… well in forever.I wasn't sure if he'd ever come back.And even if he did, I wasn't certain he would still want to see me.I mean, the first time we met we weren't friends, we were enemies.He dropped in on me in that computer room.I still can't believe we helped each other out.If we had met in a fight, we would have tried to kill each other.We have tried to kill each other, several times.I'm really trying not to give him away… but I suppose it is a moot point now.Brad knows about us.He's… less than pleased.But I'm trying to keep everything discreet at least.I really tried to keep it a secret for a little longer, but we got found out… I'll get into that later.

I don't know why, but there's this bond between Omi and me.I saw him one night at the park.I like to go wandering at night sometimes.I'm more comfortable being out in the night… holdover from my misspent youth.So I was walking around and I saw him leaning against the rail looking out at the water.The weather was really weird, a snowstorm had blown in and the snow was falling really fast in those big, fluffy flakes that drift down, drowning out sound and making everything orange cause of the way they diffuse the light from the streetlamps.So I saw him standing there.He looked… I don't know… lost?Depressed?Lonely?Reminded me too much of myself.So I kinda went over and stood there waiting for him to notice me.Which he did really quick, he's not an assassin for nothing.We talked and then… he kissed me.Not that I minded, at all.It just… surprised me.And he held me.I don't usually let people touch me… but Omi's different.I knew he wouldn't hurt me, not then.But it still unnerved me.I admit I was a bit of a coward, I ran.Not literally, but figuratively, I ran back home.And got a lecture from Brad for not leaving a note telling where I was.Schu knew I was hiding something, but I wouldn't let him in to see.It really pisses him off when I do that.Usually I don't really care if he goes rummaging around in my head… that's just Schu.But Omi was the enemy.

We started to email and IM a couple days later.It was great!We could communicate without anyone figuring out what we were doing, provided our SN's stayed between us.But then the whole business with Esset went down and before we knew it, Omi was in Kyoto.We stayed in touch as best we could of course, but it wasn't quite the same.But he's back now!!!!Something happened.He told me about it… showed me the healing cuts he got from Youji's wire.It must have been a mess.But at least he's okay.He contacted me a couple weeks ago.That's how we set it up to meet again.At the park of course.That's our 'meeting place'.That way we can pretend the other doesn't know where we live and can't therefore be branded traitors… sort of…So we met there and ended up talking for hours, catching up.Since Bavol died, I haven't had anyone close to my age to really talk to.I'm not normally really chatty, but Omi has a way of bringing it out of me.Maybe because, he can really listen too.

It's not too often someone will just listen.Schu will on occasion, if he's trying to drag things out of me.He and Omi both have this uncanny ability to know when things are bothering me.Omi tends to be a little more physical in his attempts to pull me out of my shell.He a big one for physical contact, especially hugs.No one's really hugged me before.Schu does if I'm really upset or freaking out.But he doesn't do it just to do it.Omi does.It seems like he's the one who always initiates things between us, and I suppose in some ways that's true.I've never dated before.The only other one I've ever kissed was Tot, and that wasn't exactly graceful.Omi's really sweet about it.He doesn't try to rush me or take things beyond the level I'm comfortable with.For which I am profoundly grateful.Just to let him in close enough to hold my hand is a greater level of trust than I've given anyone other than Schu.It's not just that I'm shy; I'm trying to overcome years worth of conditioning.Touch meant pain.Touch meant someone got close enough to hurt me.Touch was something I couldn't allow.Omi understands that.

He's so good to me.He's trying to get this weekend off so we can do something.Brad's gonna be out of town on business.Oh, I mentioned that he knows about Omi now…Hindsight is always 20/20.We should have been more careful I suppose.Omi and I had set things up to meet after he got back.We started out at the park of course.Then Omi insisted we get out of the weather, it was really cold and I haven't been feeling well lately anyways.Of course I get sick while on break… happens every time.So we went to this cute café around the corner.It's one of our favorite places to 'hang out'.Neither one of us likes coffee all that much, but they have really good hot chocolate.I didn't even know Brad likes those types of places. Omi and I are curled up on one of the couches, chatting with a couple of Omi's old school buddies (well he was chatting, I was snuggling, I get cold easy and Omi's always warm), when Brad and Schu walked in.Of course we were facing the door and they saw us.I though I was going to die.I wanted to die, right then and there and spare Brad the trouble of shooting me later.Cause that's what I was sure was going to happen.

Schu was shocked.He really wasn't expecting us to be there.If he'd known, I think he would have insisted they go somewhere else and spared me the humiliation of being outted in public.Brad just looks at me, all curled up with who is OBVIOUSLY my boyfriend (since Omi's arm was around me and I was practically draped across his hip), and just happens to be one of our enemies.*sigh*Not one of my luckiest days.He didn't say anything, his glasses flashed and he turned on his heel and walked out.Schu gave me this apologetic look and followed him.Omi thought I should leave to and try to talk with them… by my teammate/family isn't as understanding as his is.I decided, since it was my last day on Earth I was going to enjoy it and I finished my date!It was MY free time dammit!I wasn't going to abandon our first real date in forever to try to explain myself to Brad.

By the time I got home, Brad was gone.Apparently he had to make an emergency trip for something Schwarz related.I don't know when he'll be back.I'm sure when he does I'm in for it.But for now… I'm going to enjoy the reprieve.Omi's concerned of course.I think Brad's main problem is that he's worried that I'm gonna get hurt.He can't admit that he cares for me.It's just not his way.He has to be the 'leader'.For some reason he seems to think that means he can't be close to us.I know he's concerned.But I really love Omi.I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me intentionally.Just like I couldn't hurt him.But I don't want to disappoint Brad either.Somehow… I'll figure out how to make this work.I know we will.Right now… I'm just happy Omi's back.-Nagi


	9. Day 9: Me, Myself, and I (what I like an...

Nagi's Journal

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 9: Me, Myself, and I (what I like and detest about me)

Today for our daily dose of torture… we are supposed to write about ourselves.Not our history really, we already did that, but more of how we see ourselves, what we like and don't like, stuff like that.First of all, I'm really kind of uncomfortable doing this.I'm not used to thinking about myself, beyond survival.And even then, there are just times that I don't care.Esset's training was all about the team and the organization, not about the self.We were trained (if that's the word, brainwashed is more like it) to follow our leaders and their leaders up the chain of command.Independent thought was not encouraged in anyone who wasn't a 'leader'.Brad's a leader.You can see it in the way he acts, how he speaks and moves.He is a dominant.Schu is a little bit different.He's defiantly a freethinker, not for Esset's lack of trying, but he's not really as arrogantly confident as Brad is.Schu makes a good lieutenant.He's great in a pinch, but not really interested in leading.Farf and me… we're not dominant in any sense of the word.Farf is a happy follower.Needs to be told what to do, what not to do, and when to do it.On his own… he doesn't cope well.That could be a factor of his insanity but who knows?Myself… I'm no leader.I have no interest in being one.I can think quick enough to keep myself alive, but I'm not good at directing others.Not that I haven't stood up to Schu or even Brad on occasion… even the omega wolf will sometimes growl at the alpha.

I don't like to think about myself.I end up dwelling and that's not good for me.Maybe that's why I like to spend my free time on the computer, I don't have to think.I guess I should really get back to the assignment.But I'm so tired today, I'm rambling.We were out late last night… doing a job.We didn't get back in till around 3am.I was able to catch a little sleep in the car, but I'm dragging today.What do I like about me?… Honestly, not much.Physically there really isn't much to say.I'm not ugly; at least that's what people tell me.Schu always says I'm pretty.Pretty, not handsome.He used to tease me a couple years ago… saying I was too pretty to be a boy, was I sure I wasn't a girl?Not last time I took a bath, Schu!Alright, I can accept this, I'm pretty.Come to think about it… most of the men I'm around are pretty.Even Farf is nice-looking in his own way.His eye is beautiful.Farf and pretty, two words that just don't seem to go together.But I'm rambling again.

I like my eyes.They're a deep, midnight blue.People sometimes ask me if I'm really Japanese.To my knowledge, yes I am… I don't know where the blue eyes come from.My eyes are really big though; I hope I grow into them.But they do help when I have to go undercover.People just can't equate, big, innocent eyes with the little gun I carry.Makes getting close to the target easier.My hair's nice too.I only wish it wasn't quite so fine.It gets hard to control when it gets too long.Either hanging limp or flying away.What else do I like about myself?I guess I appreciate the fact that I'm smart, although if I wasn't I wouldn't fully understand what I was missing.I think really fast, essential for hacking.I like that I can draw, and have it turn out the way I want… most of the time.

Now on to what I don't like.Childhood and Esset training aside… it's really not fair to count them, it's not as if I had a choice in the matter.I have a tendency to get depressed at times.I mean, we're not talking lock up all the sharp, pointy objects (most of the time) depressed, I just get down.Then I don't care about anything.I stay in my room, except for school and missions.I don't talk to anyone.I don't want to see anyone.I don't want to eat.I barely sleep.And I just can't figure out how to get out of it.Before I met Omi… this would sometimes go on for months.

There was this one time a couple years ago… Brad was really busy with Takatori, Farf was going through one of his periods where he's REALLY out of it, and Schu was busy shuffling between Farfie-sitting and playing Brad's second.I don't think they were intentionally ignoring me… it just happened.We were being sent out on a lot of jobs too, so I was busy most nights.I was having a problem with some of the 'jocks' at school.Harassing me, teasing me, the usual.I had the pits for teachers that year, lots of homework and no understanding.This was before I met Tot or Omi so I didn't have any friends.Life sucked, big time.I went into one of my depressed periods.It was awful.I was having to use make up and eyedrops to hide the fact I wasn't sleeping.I was hardly ever hungry enough to finish a meal, so I started eating dinners in my room where they couldn't yell at me.No one was ever around at breakfast time and I've already established that lunch is NOT a good time for me.I lost weight.Which made me even more tired… but I couldn't sleep… which fed my depression… which leads to me not eating… you get the idea.Luckily it was almost the end of the school year and somehow I made it through finals.

Then I went to bed and slept for like 24 hours.Even then I didn't want to get up.And since I wasn't eating hardly at all, I didn't see the point in forcing myself.I did get up once or twice to get some juice and crackers and that was about it.I think it took them three days to realize, no one had seen me.Schu came in to check on me and absolutely freaked.I must have looked REALLY bad for him to react like that.I wouldn't know.I'd stopped looking in the mirror weeks before.I was just kind of lying there listless when he came in.I think that tipped him off that something was really wrong… I wasn't on the computer or reading or drawing.I'm always doing something.But I wasn't, I was just huddled in my blankets, I couldn't get warm.

Schu like screamed for Brad to 'get his ass in here'.It was actually kind of funny.Schu doesn't yell at Brad too often.Anyway, Brad comes rushing in and just freezes in the doorway.By then Schu was kneeling beside my bed (I have a traditional futon on the floor, I don't like to be up off the ground when I sleep, a holdover from my time on the streets when low mean secure.).Brad came over and told me to get up.I tried.I couldn't.Schu picked me up and started swearing in German, I didn't even know half the words.I remember Brad asked what was wrong.Schu told him and they made me take off my shirt.Then Brad started swearing in English; remember I hadn't looked at myself for weeks.They hustled me into warmer clothes and took me straight to one of the Esset clinics.

I passed out on the way.Next thing I know, it's a week later.I don't even know what my weight was by that time, but the doctors weren't happy with me.They really didn't want Brad to take me home, but I was insistent and he knew I wasn't going to get better there.I hate hospitals, comes from some bad experiences in the Esset training rooms.So a couple days after I woke up, Brad took me home.Farf was doing better by then, which means he was doing the cooking.He seemed intent on finding ways to stuff food in my face.They stuck me on the couch, and since walking was still pretty shaky, I couldn't escape.Schu sat down and basically told me to tell him what was going on or he was going to rummage around in my head.Either way he was gonna find out.So I took the lesser of the evils and just told him.By the time I was done, I was crying on his shoulder (which I hardly ever do).I fell asleep.When I woke up, Brad was sitting there with me.He apologized for ignoring me.(Landmark event here, Brad Crawford apologized for something!He actually said the words, didn't just imply them!)I tried to tell him it wasn't his fault.He just frowned at me in that way of his that says, 'do NOT contradict me'.Then he ruffled my hair (I HATE when he does that, and he knows it, that's probably why he does it! ARRRGGGHHH!!).Farf came in with some mochi for me and everything was alright again.

That's probably the lowest I've ever been.I mean we're talking rock bottom, probably would have tried to kill myself if I'd had the strength, absolute lowest point in my life.But it ended up okay.I'm closer to them now, especially Schu.It kinda, I don't know, bonded us as a family.Now, any time I start to get down (i.e. I'm hiding in my room a little too much), Schu demands that we talk, Brad gives me a couple nights off, and Farf starts bringing me treats.

I haven't really gotten depressed since I met Omi.I don't know why, but it helps having someone my age to talk to.Especially since we do the same types of things.He understands how hard it is to juggle school and 'work'.He's another one who's good at knowing when I'm getting down.He tends to think up something silly.He'll give me flowers, or send me some perverted jokes in my email.It's nice.It's nice having someone who really cares.I guess that's one more thing I like about me… I have a few people who really care.-Nagi


	10. Day 10: My Favorite Thing (what I risk e...

Nagi's Journal

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Author's Note: special cameo today by my buddy Miki who asked very politely the other day, where the fluff had gone… so here's some fluff for Miki-chan.Also, I want to know if anyone catches the seiyuu reference (not Miki… too easy), the seiyuu and the show… no peeking… course I won't know if you do… but I'm trusting you darnit!

Day 10: My Favorite Thing (what I risk everything for)

I finally heard what I've been worried about, Brad's coming home tomorrow…*sigh*And my life had been going so well lately…I'll be sorry to see it end.Am I being a little fatalistic here?Not at all, you haven't SEEN Brad in a bad mood.Somehow, I just think that's what he's gonna be in when he gets home.But at least my time on death row has been nice.Schu even let me go out last night.On a DATE, not a mission.He'll be in deep shit with Brad if he ever finds out about it.I think I was supposed to be grounded… but since Schu never follows the rules anyways I don't know why Brad thought he'd make me stay home.I'll say this for Schu, he's fair.You give him respect; he'll give it back to you.You hassle him, he'll annoy you to no end.You hurt him or one of the very few people he cares about… he'll make your life Hell.He doesn't necessarily do these little things out of kindness, I'm sure I'll hear about last night the next time he needs a favor.But at least he'll play the game.Brad doesn't play games… he plays for keeps, always.

Soooo, today we're supposed to write about our favorite things to do.What a coincidence that I got to go on a date last night…damn the bad luck!^__^I had an email from Omi when I got home from school yesterday. He was free (read no missions planned) and wanted to know if I wanted to do something.After I was done dancing around the room (okay so I didn't really dance, cause I can't, but I did bounce a little, like Tigger on crack…), I pulled on my best 'Please Schu, I'll do anything you want' face and went to get permission…I no sooner walked in and Schu said, 'Don't be late and don't let ANYONE find out.'Translation: You can go, but if you ever let Brad know YOU will be grounded till you're 30 and I'LL be skinned alive.So I smiled and gave him a quick hug around the shoulders (a very rare thing for me) and bounced out to get changed.

Omi and I did our usual thing.Grabbed some dinner, went to a movie, hung out at the café… the usual for a school night.Luckily I had gotten all my homework done in school so I didn't have to be in early to finish it.I love going out with him.I like to let him pick where we go, he knows more about what places are good.And he's good about picking areas that are same-sex couple friendly so there isn't the stress of hiding or worrying about trouble.Not that we couldn't handle anything… puleeze, we are professional assassins.But it's, impolite to have to kill or maim on a date.With Omi making the decisions I can just go and relax and be myself.Odd thing, to be myself.I don't let that happen to often.

He took me to this new sushi bar that just opened up.Wow was the food good, and relatively inexpensive… at least for the types of stuff I eat.I don't really go for the unusual stuff.And there are a few things I outright hate.Like unagi… I hate unagi… and of course, Omi loves it.I had eaten my spicy tuna and my salmon, when he puts a piece of 'something' on my plate.I looked at it, and I looked at him. His eyes were glittering… that means he's pulling something.I told him no… I wasn't going to eat it.He told me to try it.I refused again.He said if I didn't, he wouldn't order desert… grumble grumble… So I put sufficient wasabi on that I wasn't tasting ANYTHING else and popped it in.Despite the wasabi I could tell… unagi.He's laughing so hard at the look on my face that he's teetering on the edge of his chair.So what do I do?I just gave him a little nudge… telekinetically of course.He's sprawled out on the floor, blinking in surprise and I'm laughing my ass off, quietly of course.Omi'd drawn enough attention our way.He smiles and climbs back up.He did order desert though.

The movie really wasn't all that interesting.It was some new animé I'd never heard of… for obvious reasons.The story was boring, the art was mediocre and the music sucked.There weren't even any good seiyuus in it.We'd parked ourselves in the back, as usual, not that there were that many people there.Omi started making comments and heckling the film, kinda like that American show MST3K.It was really funny and hard to keep quiet.I finally had to shut him up when the usher threatened to throw us out.There is only one way to shut Omiitchi up when he's like that.I'm REALLY surprised we didn't get thrown out for what happened next.I probably shouldn't write it down, deniability and all… Oh well, it's not as if anyone's gonna see this anyway…

Making out with Omi is ALWAYS fun.He's a great kisser… not that I've had all that much experience with kissing before Omi but I think he's good.And he makes these cute little purring noises, really quiet-like.His hands kinda, wander about, really gentle.It's really handy being small sometimes.He pulled me over so I was straddling his lap and started to run his hands through my hair.I love that.And he loves my hair.So it works out perfectly.And he's kissing all over my face and throat, God I love it when he goes for the throat.And that little spot right behind my ear.Then his hands were running down my back and up under my shirt.Good thing the movie ended when it did… or Omi and I probably would have been making a really hasty trip to the bathroom.And somehow… I just don't think THAT'S the place I want my first time to be in.Have you SEEN the theatre bathrooms… eeeew!

So AFTER that, a long walk in the cool night air was in order… And we ended up at our café, of course.Got our usual, hot chocolate, he gets caramel syrup in his; me- hazelnut, or almond, but they had the hazelnut.And we settled into our usual spot on the ugly green loveseat.It's ugly, but the most comfortable seat in the place.A couple of the other regulars came in and sat across from us.One of them coaxed Omi into a game of chess.He won of course, but it took at least an hour.By then, Miki had brought us a refill, that's the nice thing about being 'regulars' the waitresses all know what we want.She took her break and sat by me, chatting while we watched Omi run Kazuya around the board.All in all, we had a really good time there.

Then Omi walked me back home.He really tries to do that, for as close as we dare.We meet at the park, but he always walks me home.I think it's really sweet.We stood around the corner from the apartment building for another half hour or so for another make out session.Till Schu very annoyingly butted in and told us that while entertaining, I had school the next morning so kittens and chibis should head for home.Omi laughed, but I really wish Schu wouldn't do things like that.Omi gave me a kiss goodbye and left.I waited till he was out of sight and then went up.

Schu just laughed when I glared at him.He and Farf were parked on the couch watching some slasher movie… again.I swear, Farf has no taste.Schu just watches cause he likes Farf's ranting and critiquing of the psychos, and Farf gets really picky.Their technique, their level of sanity, etc.Go figure.That's when Schu told me Brad's getting back tomorrow. At least he didn't ruin my date by telling me before hand.I shuffled off to my room and went to bed… after emailing Omi to thank him for a great time.And to warn him to go into hiding in tomorrow… who knows what Brad will do if he gets on the warpath…But at least, I got to do my favorite thing.Spend time with Omi.-Nagi


	11. Day 11: My Imminent Demise (dead man wal...

Nagi's Journal

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Author's Note:Everyone on ff.net gets lucky… the ML's got this journal entry in two parts, I waited overnight to post the second… But since I don't want to mess up the chapter numbering here, you get the whole thing.Besides… I have enough people after my head for splitting it as it is…-Yanagi

Day 11: My Imminent Demise (dead man walking!)

Part a: My time on death row…

Quite frankly, I don't give a damn about today's topic.I'm supposed to be writing about what we would serve the Prime Minister if he came to lunch.What?!Point?!I would BS my way through it, but I just can't think about that right now.Crawford came home today.He's down in his office… catching up on the paperwork probably.There are things I do when he's gone, but some things can only be handled by him.Schu warned me he was back before I even got to the door.He's lounging in the living room.I think he wants to be on hand in case something happens.Farf's in the kitchen making dinner.Maybe this combination of drugs will do the trick; he seems to be much better lately.

I'm procrastinating here, I know.But I really don't want to talk to Crawford.I don't know what he's gonna do.I can't prepare for something when I don't know what to prepare for.I don't like this.I don't like to feel this out of control.I've been jumpy and nervous all day.I couldn't eat lunch at all… but I'm not hungry.Every time I hear someone moving around the apartment, I freeze.My hands are shaking a little… not a good sign.I'm going to have to appear calm and collected for whenever I run into him.That's hard when it feels like your heart is racing a mile a minute.Schu's told me three times already to calm down or I'm gonna hyperventilate, and I've only been home an hour.I can't.I can't relax when I don't know what's going on.Schu doesn't know, Crawford's been blocking him since he got home.This is soooo not good.

I got all the rest of my homework done already.I don't need THAT hanging over my head all evening, besides, the work kept my mind off the fact that Crawford is right down the hall… for a little while anyways.Damn!I don't know what to do.I'm a nervous wreck here.Should I make some type of excuse or apology?Should I laugh off the whole thing and try to imply that it was a joke?Should I just be all punk, apathetic teen and tell him I don't care?Should I just grovel at his feet or skip everything and throw myself out the window for him?I wish he would just get it over with.

Farf just came to the door to tell me supper was ready.I had to tell him I wasn't hungry.I hate to hurt his feelings like that, he always takes those things so personally, but I don't think I can eat.And even if I did… I don't think I would be keeping it for long.Oddly enough, he didn't push it… just gave me this pitying look and said there'd be some left if I was hungry later.Thanks Farf.But I'm not sure there will BE a later.Farf again, holding a cup of tea.Not much I could do to refuse that.He's worried about me… again.He's gonna start in with the mother hen crap pretty soon.It's just too weird coming from the ONE person I'm physically afraid of.I mean… I don't HONESTLY think Crawford would kill me… but Farf in one of his moods… there is a distinct possibility.I'm never quite sure what to make of Farf when he gets all chummy or God save us, maternal.*shudders*It seriously weirds me out.

Now Schu's starting.He came to my door to ask me if I was going to eat.NO!I'M NOT!!!The possible end to my entire existence is sitting down the hall and these two are demanding I eat?!This is way too much stress.If Crawford doesn't do whatever he's gonna do soon, it won't matter, cause I'll be a broken lump on the floor.What will he do?I think lots of people have a morbid fascination over the myriad of ways their life could end prematurely.Course, I'm not only talking about my ACTUAL life, though I think that's safe.I am quite valuable to him after all.But the imminent DEATH of my social life is a very real possibility.

Crawford could ground me from now till… forever.He could take away privileges.He could take away my allowance… that would definitely curtain any semblance I had of a social life.*sigh*He would be well within his bounds to order me to kill Omi.I mean, Weiss is technically our enemies.I really really hope he doesn't ask me to do that.I don't think I could.Except for that time with Tot… I've never openly defied him that badly.If I refused a direct order like that… then he could possibly kill me.Or at least severely punish me.I really don't want to have to explain away bruises tomorrow in school.Provided I can go to school.Since when have I actually WANTED to go to school?He could banish me too.That would be Hell, to be back out on the streets.I don't think Omi's teammates/family would be too happy if I suddenly showed up on their doorstep.Plus, I don't' know if they know about us and I wouldn't want Omi to get in trouble.

This waiting is driving me insane!!!!My hands are cold.Kind of a funny thing to notice, but they are.Come to think of it… I'm pretty cold period.Wonder if the temperature outside is dropping?I hate hate hate this…. It's like being strapped to the chair and waiting for the executioner to throw the switch.I bet he's doing this on purpose, tormenting me…Wait, I can hear Crawford calling me.Better go face the music.I'll finish this later… if I'm still alive…

Part b:

I can't believe it… I really can't believe it… Brad was…Let me explain exactly what happened.I heard Brad calling me so I left the safety of my room.As I passed the kitchen, both Schu and Farf were sitting at the table, eating.They just looked up and gave me that smile that is meant to reassure but actually makes everything worse.By this time, I'm basically shaking like a leaf.So much for calm and in control.And Plan B: apathetic teenager isn't gonna work either.Plan C: throw myself on the mercy of the court!

I kind of, peek around the door, and Brad looks up over the rim of his glasses… usually a sign that I'm REALLY in trouble.He tells me to come in and close the door.Great, I think, no witnesses.But I do it and come over to stand in front of his desk like the scared kid I am.I'm holding myself so tight to keep from trembling that my muscles are starting to ache.He shuffles a couple papers around and then finally gets up.

All of a sudden, I'm just so tired.It's like… all my nervous energy has been used up and is gone.Brad has this couch along one wall, he tells me to sit down and moves to sit on one end himself.Okay, one point in my favor, he's making it an informal interrogation.I sit down, still so tense that I'm sitting ramrod straight.He tells me to relax.Yeah right?!Like I can relax at a moment like this!!!!!!Then he starts asking me questions.When did I REALLY meet Tsukiyono?How long had we been 'going out'?How did we keep in touch?Did Weiss or Kritiker know about us?

I considered lying… for all of two seconds.He'd know if I did.Nothing else I could do except come clean.I answered him as honestly as I could.Some things I didn't know, like if Weiss or Kritiker knew.But the rest… I just told him, staring at the floor, hands clenched so tight around each other I'm sure they'll be bruised tomorrow.When I was done, I just sat there, shaking.

Then his hands closed over mine and he pried them apart so they weren't hurting each other.Nagi.. he said.I can't approve of what you've done.Tsukiyono is a member of Weiss… a group who has tried to kill us time and again just as we have tried to kill them.You've FOUGHT against Tsukiyono yourself, many times.Now I find you are not only dating him… but also doing so behind my back, and have been for quite some time.I consider this an unacceptable risk, Nagi.I thought you were smarter than that.

I just kinda lost it at that point.I mean… I was sure he was going to demand I go kill Omi.With all the stress of the last few days (ever since he found out actually), combined with not eating all day and my fretting earlier, I just kinda went into emotional overload.It's so embarrassing.I pulled away from him and curled up, crying.I think he just sat there shocked for a moment and then he started to try to get me to calm down, rubbing my back and stuff.But I just couldn't stop.I wanted to… I had never wanted to lose face like that, not in front of Brad, but I couldn't.I heard Schu and Farf come barging in, demanding to know what was happening, and I couldn't stop then either.Brad finally just shooed the other two from the room, telling them he would handle it.Then he just sat down with me and waited for me to cry myself out.

I finally did, after what seemed like forever, but was probably only ten minutes or so.He handed me his handkerchief and asked if I was okay.I said I guessed so.He tilted my head up and looked at my face.He frowned and asked when was the last time I'd eaten.I was too drained to think up a convincing lie so I was honest… dinner yesterday.His frown deepened and he told me to stay put.He left and came back with some miso soup and a small bowl of rice.He said he didn't think I really wanted much.It was all I could do to eat what he did bring; my stomach was still doing flip-flops.It was really unnerving having Brad watch me eat, but finally I was done.He set my bowls on his desk and sat down beside me again.

He said he was sorry.He hadn't intended to make me so uncomfortable; he had just wanted to point out how dangerous it was, for both of us.Then he asked, why Omi?I told him I didn't know… but I loved him.Brad just kind of sighed and pulled off his glasses and rubbed his forehead.Then he shook his head and said he was young once too… but he didn't think he'd ever been as young as us.Then he got this really serious look on his face and asked if we had… His voice trailed off but I knew where he was going.I told him no and he seemed a little relieved.He hinted that if we DID… that we should use protection… etc.I told him Schu and I had talked about all this years ago and he seemed even more relieved.I guess like most parents he was happy to get out of 'The Talk'.

He asked if I had any homework left, I told him only my journal.He said I had better get to it then.He got up and went around his desk and sat down… and Brad was Crawford again.I stumbled down the hall to my room.Schu and Farf were back in front of the TV again.I smiled slightly as I went by, Farf waved and Schu gave me this little slide through my mind, kind of his equivalent of a greeting.Opening my door, I saw that Farf had been in there too.On my desk were a small pot of fresh tea and a small plate of sweets.Besides my absolutely humiliating performance in front of Brad… I guess the day wasn't as bad as I was expecting.I wrote a quick email to Omi telling him everything was clear, he could come out of his hole now… and sat to finish this.I just realized that Brad didn't say I couldn't see Omi.He said he wasn't pleased, but didn't forbid me from seeing him.Suddenly, tonight's really not so bad after all.–Nagi

Author's Note: I couldn't decide whether Brad would have a real heart inside or be an absolute bastard about this.I've written him both ways.Finally, I decided on both and so part a is Nagi's personal debate on HOW bad his punishment will be (the evil Crawford), the part b is the actuality (Brad is not approving, but understanding at least)… Now I wonder how the Weiss boys would handle this…


	12. Day 12: A Better World? (a life beyond?)

Nagi's Journal

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 12: A Better World? (a life beyond?) 

Okay, now that my social/family life is back to some semblance of normalcy (as much as it ever gets for me anyways), I can actually think about these stupid little assignments.Take today's.Will the world be a better place when you are 50?My question is… Will I MAKE 50?I honestly don't give much thought to the future, beyond tomorrow and next week.On the streets you concentrate on TODAY… tomorrow will come soon enough, with it's own problems to deal with.You have to concentrate on surviving today, if you get distracted, you could be dead.Even after years of living with Schwarz, where I've had food, and clothing, and shelter… I still don't think much beyond 'now'.I think that's why it was so hard to do that 'dreams' assignment.

I think my question is an honest one; will I live to be 50?I'm kinda in a high-risk profession here.Granted, I usually don't do the really dangerous stuff, but accidents can always happen.I could always get hit by a stray bullet, I can't keep a shield up all the time, it's really draining.An explosive could misfire, that's already happened once, and I got a concussion and a broken arm that time.Boy was I pissed… I couldn't type with the cast, it was pure Hell.At least it was my left arm so I could still use the mouse.Otherwise I think I would have gone insane.I've been injured other times too.Like when Esset's Grand High Summoning Ceremony for Demonic Evil got screwed, by Schwarz of course ^_^, and the whole place came down.I had to use my powers to take us out, which left me too weak to swim to the surface.Schu had to come back down and get me.I was out by then; he actually did CPR on me.I caught pneumonia from that one and spent the next week or so in bed.That's what I did on my summer vacation.

You can't really be afraid of dying, in our profession.I mean, I don't think death is a good option, don't get me wrong, but we can't be afraid of it.Fear is a natural and healthy emotion, it will keep you alive.But letting fear take over is dangerous.It makes you hesitate, and often, if you hesitate, you could die.So I'm not afraid that I will die before I'm 50, I just can't be sure of living.Cause sometimes, no matter how good the plan… it falls apart and you end up winging it.That's when it truly gets a little dicey.Cause in those situations, you never quite know what could happen next.But the adrenaline rush is great!Death is always a very real possibility in our line of work.

Then again, I could get hit by a car tomorrow in an accident totally unrelated to what we do.You never know.I do think that we are helping to make a better world.Weiss may technically be the 'good guys'.But that's only because they work FOR the law, sort of, and we work on the… fringes?We do the same thing… we just make a profit off of it.I've seen the way Weiss has to live… they're not making a profit off of anything!I'm sure all my classmates and teachers would be astounded to know exactly what goes on in the underworld.How much is controlled by various factions.Whole governments and countries, dancing to their tune.Schwarz tends to… weed out the more undesirable elements.There ARE degrees of criminals after all.

Brad really seems to like to go after anything that uses kids.Child prostitution, kidnapping rings, immigrant sweatshops, that sort of thing.I'm not sure why, but he and Schu both have this thing about kids.I would hazard a guess that it's because of their childhoods, or lack thereof, but they haven't shared and I'm not going asking.The point is, Brad like to go after those scumbags.Of course, when we do things like that, guess who gets the wonderful honor of being bait?Actually, it's kind of fun.I get to play helpless kid, when I'm anything but.I always go armed of course, and Schu is in constant contact with me.I think Brad gets really nervous on those missions, but I like them.I love the look on the target's face when I switch from victim to aggressor.

In a way, I guess the world would be a better place if I get to 50.It certainly is better than if we'd let Esset summon their daemon or whatever they were going for.I really don't understand WHAT they were doing.But I know it was EVIL.We're bad on occasion, but we're not evil.Well… most of the time.Just kidding.We're not evil even if we sometimes do things of… how does Brad put it… questionable legality?What Esset wanted was nothing less than world domination.Schwarz doesn't go for that.Brad is happy with carving out our own little corner of the underworld, we don't want the planet.What would we do with it?I don't want to be responsible for all those people.Schu doesn't even want to be responsible for himself!Farf?!Give me a minute to stop laughing.Brad's a leader, but he knows better than to overreach what he can manage.

Will the world be a better place when I'm 50?God I hope so.If Ms. Psycho-Bitch-from-Hell knew what was really out there… I think she would be afraid to ask this question.All of them.If they only knew… But I guess that's one reason why groups like Weiss and Schwarz work in the shadows… to make sure the shades stay there.I would like to hope I'll live to be 50.I hope I'm with someone, and happy.But this life we lead… I don't know.I just don't know.-Nagi


	13. Day 13: Free Write Take 3 (OMG I

Nagi's Journal

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 13: Free Write Take 3 (OMG I'm sooooo dead!)

I'm sooo dead.Brad is just going to kill me and toss my broken remains into the sea.Why, do you ask would Brad Crawford do such a thing?I got into a fight today… during school… ended up at the principal's office… after we both took a trip to the nurse's office…-_-;The long and short of it is… we both got suspended for two days, plus have to write a letter of apology to the teacher, plus write a 1000 word essay on proper school behavior, and we're responsible for cleaning the classroom all next week.

Okay as far as that goes, I could handle that punishment, but Brad… -_-;

I should probably call Omi and tell him what I want done with my belongings.Hell, call him and tell him goodbye, cause even if Brad doesn't kill me, it's a good bet I'm grounded, and I'm sure he'll take away the computer… and the phone… and the TV…*sigh*

Did I mention that the principal was going to call Brad?I should probably explain my side of the story, so there will be a written record after my demise.Okay, here's what happened…

I've been having a little trouble with a couple of jerks in my class.They're big, jocks for the most part, you know the type, more muscle than brains, the only reason they're even in this school is cause their parents bought their way in.They're there to be on the sports teams and make the school look good, not because they're anything brilliant.So anyway… they've been hassling me in the mornings, at lunch, after school, in the locker room, anytime the teachers aren't watching.I don't really know why, I don't give them a reason to do anything to me.I don't even mock their… limited range of intelligence.I try to stay out of their way.

Then today… okay the morning started out like always.I get there and sit at my desk and promptly bury myself in a book.They come in (there's three of them) and cluster around my desk.They start with verbal harassment, big deal; I've been called much worse than anything these mentally deficient louts could come up with.Then Yuuto, a hulking idiot if ever I've met one, leans right over and tells me I better watch out, cause he and his friends were gonna get me today.The teacher came and they went to their seats, after brushing by me so hard Yuuto nearly knocked me off my chair.

Heading their warning, I really didn't want to get into trouble; I pretty much disappeared at lunchtime.I wasn't really hungry anyways.I made sure there was at least one teacher within visual range if I was with them.I thought maybe I was gonna get away.The thing about them is if you can stay out of their sight long enough, they'll forget all about you and go after easier targets.Then we had gym.

No problems during class, but the teacher picked me to help pick up the equipment… just my luck.So I was a little late getting back to the locker room.Almost everyone was changed already and I've already mentioned that I don't shower; I'd rather NOT become intimately acquainted with the tiles, so I thought maybe I might get away.5 more seconds, that's all I would have needed… but no.As the door closed I knew I was in trouble.Yuuto's two cronies went out in the hall to run interference and I was left with the baka.

*sigh*I don't know why people with overdeveloped muscles think size is everything…I mean, I may be a foot shorter than him, and weigh a hundred pounds less (I said he was a hulking idiot… I think his father is Samoan), but that doesn't mean I can't take care of myself.Puleeze… professional assassin here!!!!Brad taught me the basics of boxing, Schu taught me his own particular method of street fighting, and Farf taught me about pressure points.I had hoped to actually avoid physical confrontation, cause if he did manage to land a hit, I would really be hurting.Schu's speed I have not.

I managed to avoid his fists and land a couple hits of my own, more as a warning than anything else. But then he started swearing and calling me names again… you know, being called queer and girly-boy doesn't bother me all that much.But then he said he'd seen me with my boyfriend and maybe he'd go rearrange his face when he was done with me…

Not too many things can get me riled up.Threatening Omi is one of them.

By the time we were finally pulled apart, by the gym teacher and his assistant, we were both bloody and bruised and pissed as Hell.Yuuto, cause he couldn't beat me into a bloody pulp, even though he did get a couple lucky shots in.The bastard was faster than I expected.I was pissed cause I'd completely HAD it with the asshole and his two flunkies.It was not a pretty sight as we were marched down the hall to the nurse first, then the principal.Tweedledumb and Tweedledummer had split, leaving Yuuto to face the music alone.Probably the first smart thought they've had in a long time.

The nurse took one look at us and frowned, reaching for the ice.She fussed over me more than Yuuto, which also pissed him off.I got a kind of perverse pleasure out of that.Is it MY fault that I know the nurse really well?And that she likes me?It was kind of funny.He basically got the ice pack tossed at him with a snarled comment to put it on the bruises.Me… I got her carefully cleaning the blood off my face (I have a cut on my forehead, contact with the side of a locker) and tsking and asking me if my head hurt, etc.It was all I could do not to laugh.So what did I do?Played it up of course.^_^And there was nothing Yuuto could do about it.

So after the nurse cleaned us up and made sure we didn't have concussions, need stitches, etc.; the gym teacher marched us farther down the hall to the principal.-_-;The lecture doesn't need repeating here; it wasn't that interesting the first time.Let me sum it up by saying, we obviously don't care about the quality of education this school provides, how important our teachers time is, proper conduct of gentlemen such as us, etc. etc. etc…Then, he told us what our punishment was going to be, that our parents/guardians would be called, yadda yadda yadda…Finally he told us to get our things our suspension started now.

So I get my stuff and go back to the nurse cause my head is starting to hurt, that locker was really hard.She coos and tsks some more and insists that she call someone to come get me.I really only went to ask for an aspirin, but who am I to turn down a ride if it means not having to ride the buses for an hour.So she called the house, for once something went my way and Schu was home.He came and picked me up.Didn't even give me a hard time, just asked what happened.He's really understanding about this type of thing, more so than Brad, must be the difference in their personalities.Or how they grew up.

Well, I guess I'll go call Omi before I lose all phone privileges for the rest of my life.This really sucks…

Just thought I write down Brad's reaction.Pretty much what I was expecting… after he made sure I was okay and didn't need a doctor or anything.I got the lecture on how my education is important… he expected better… he's disappointed in me… the usual.And, as I expected… I'm grounded with no phone, no TV, computer only for homework or Schwarz-related work… which he just dumped a bunch of paperwork on me to type up and file… *sigh*At least it's only for a week… there goes my date for this weekend… -_-;The one good thing… at least I didn't use my powers, then I WOULD be dead.I think I'm going to go to bed; I just want this day to end.-Nagi


	14. Day 14: Speaker Response (dying of embar...

Nagi's Journal

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 14: Speaker Response (dying of embarrassment)

I'm back in school.If THAT'S what it would be like to home schooled… I want to stay here.I think Brad was just being tough cause I was being punished… I hope.Anyways, I come in to school today and what do I come back to?A guest speaker.And not just any guest speaker, the school's doctor.Ms. Psycho-Bitch-from-Hell comes in, tells us to get out our notebooks, cause we'll have to take notes, and then in walks Dr. Ishikawa.

'Good day, class.If you don't know me, I am Dr. Ishikawa and I'm here today to talk to you about something very important.Today, we are going to be discussing sex.'

I'm not kidding.I thought I was going to die.I mean… Schu told me all about this stuff years ago, but to have to hear it with your class.Everyone just kinda, slunk down in our seats, hoping, praying, that he wouldn't ask US anything.OMGI can't believe we had to sit through that.And he had visual aids too.He starts with the female anatomy…he was very… descriptive.Ok, I NEVER wanted to know that much about girls.EVER.Then of course, can't go over one without the other… male anatomy…with posters and everything… I guess I should be glad he didn't have models… then again; it might have made what he talked about later more interesting.

So after the anatomy and physiology lesson… he stops and asks for questions.Of course, everyone is still trying to pretend that they're actually PART of the desk and therefore, not really there.Since no one had any questions… that they were willing to voice, he made some up and answered them…

Then he asked us a few questions to make sure we understood… *sigh*Finally we answered to his satisfaction… or rather we let Hoshiko answer… she wants to be a doctor anyways.He went on with the whole Tab A in Slot B routine.Of course he said things like 'once you insert the penis into the vaginal opening…'And it didn't end there.He went into great detail on the sensations produced, male and female response to stimuli… etc.Then he went into risk factors and STD's and protection… And asked us questions…

Did he stop there? … No.He went on to discuss Tab A into Slot C… and all the differences, risks, etc to deal with male/female anal sex.By now… most of us are contemplating how far we are from the door… and if escape was really an option.Especially when he started in with the examples, using people IN the class.'If Kado-kun and Akina-chan…'Anyone he named slunk even lower in their seats if possible.

So now we think we might be safe… but no.'Now class, I don't want you to think that sex only takes place between males and females…'That's when I REALLY started praying.Please… please… kill me now… just let me die… But did the universe listen to my cries for mercy… no, of course not.

No offense to anyone, but if I really didn't want to know about the female anatomy, I really REALLY didn't want to learn about lesbian sex.Okay, I'm not even remotely interested in girls.I'm sure it's nice and all that, but I don't want to know.So we sat through that and then I started to get nervous, cause I had a good idea what was coming next.

Sure enough… 'Now class, when two males have sex…'More descriptions… in GRAPHIC detail, more visual aids, more explanation on risk factors and what not.Yuuto, being the ass he is… had to lean over to me and say, 'I bet YOU know all about this…'Jerk.I so much wanted to turn to him and say, why yes I do, are you interested?But I didn't.I wanted to, just to see the look of shock on his face… but I didn't.Course the good doctor wasn't going to let us get away without examples.I knew I was doomed when Ishikawa-san's eyes darted my way.I contemplated the distance to the door… too great.The window?I'd have to use my powers to keep from DYING on the sidewalk below… and then Brad would kill me.My greater fear… who would he 'pair' me with.'If Yuuto-kun and Nagi-kun were involved in a homosexual relationship…'

Of all the other guys he could have picked… Yuuto.I glanced over at him, and the guy had this look of abject horror on his face.He looked at me and then the doctor.And yelled out, 'I'M NOT GAY!!!!!!!'Ishikawa-san just gave him this puzzled look and said it was only an example he wasn't implying that Yuuto was.The guy doesn't know when to shut up.He gets all flustered and says, 'Yeah, but girly-boy there is I bet.'

Okay.I don't think my face could possibly get any redder.I felt like I was burning up.Everyone turned and stared at me, including the teacher and Dr. Ishikawa.Talk about wanting to die.I thought I was going to faint.Ms. Bitch got really angry and told Yuuto she wanted to speak with him in the hall, after he apologized to me.He did, that apology you give when an adult tells you to and you don't really mean it.She took him out in the hall and shut the door.Ishikawa-san tried to go on like it hadn't happened but I could still feel everyone's eyes on me.Finally, finally after an eternity he was done.Ms. Bitch had returned, without Yuuto and told us our assignment today was to reflect on everything we learned today.

I can't believe we had to sit through that Hell.Worse yet, I couldn't deny what Yuuto said, or everyone would be positive I was gay.Not to mention the fact that he was right.I couldn't admit to that either or I'd be MORE of a target for the jerks than I already am.Home schooling is looking more attractive again.Even if Brad was like he has been for the past two days.Being different can really suck.I can't even talk to Omi about this… cause I'm still grounded.*sigh*This just isn't my week.-Nagi


	15. Day 15: Favorite Relation (back to the p...

Nagi's Journal

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 15: Favorite Relation (back to the psychotic family)

Today we were instructed to write about our favorite relative… -_-;I know I've mentioned, repeatedly, how bizarre and psychotic my family is.So whom do I pick to write about?My over-bearing and anal-retentive 'father'?My annoying, argumentative, slutty 'brother'?Or my certifiable, knife licking, scary other brother?Choices, choices…

Well, she said to go with our favorite, and no offense to the other two, but there really is only one person that can fall into this category, and that's Schu.He's annoying, and smug, and likes to pick fights.He drinks too much when he goes out and smokes like a chimney.He's moody, and pissy, and likes nothing better than to mess with the minds of everyone around him.He's also the most understanding and non-judgmental person I know.He's the one who's willing to sit down and listen to me.Brad makes me talk to him sometimes… but Schu really listens.And he never judges, just listens and offers advice, but isn't offended if you don't take it.Lots of people get really pissed if you don't do as they suggest, Schu just kinda shrugs it off, it's your life, he says.

I've said before he's the one who takes care of me when I'm sick.It's not that the others don't care.But Brad doesn't deal well with sick people.If you're sick, then you're not being productive.He can't stand idle hands.I think it is more a reflection of his inability to relax than a criticism of us.Farf… has his moments.Like the time he brought me that milkshake when I was sick over the summer.But, he's not really suited to be a nursemaid.He gets distracted easily and wanders off.Schu, while hyper and crazy himself… is the only one who can actually sit by your bedside and keep you company, or bring you soup and juice, or keep cool clothes handy when your fever climbs.

He's the one who keeps track of who takes what medicine, and when you ate last.That comes from that time when I quit eating… he's never completely forgiven himself for ignoring me.He also understands that sometime you just don't feel like eating.Then he'll be happy with anything, even stuff that isn't technically healthy… or technically food for that matter.

Periodically he likes to take me out and do stuff.Nothing big, just a trip to the movies or out to eat.Sometimes we'll rent a whole bunch of videos, get an insane amount of junk food, soda for me, beer for him, and we'll stay up all night.Course, we can only ever do that if Brad's away for a couple days, but it's fun when we can.

I really miss Schu, those rare occasions when he's sent out on a mission.He's the best company I have around here, besides Omi, and the only one I can talk to about my boyfriend.The fact that I'm gay doesn't bother him at all.He hasn't come out and said it… but he is soooo bi.I swear he'd try to seduce anything that moved, male, female, other.Ok, maybe not the other… I hope not the other, but you get the idea.I've seen what he wears out to the clubs…If his outfits don't scream 'Fuck Me NOW!' I don't know what does.

I'm going to wrap this up, cause I know Brad has a quick mission for me tonight. Actually, it more or less falls along the line of, dress up and play Brad's little ward.Kinda fun, not as much fun as being bait though.I hope the food will be good, since I can't enjoy the open bar at these things.And I hope there aren't any girls there that want me to dance.I don't dance.Never.Ever.Don't ask.

Hey Chibi, been awhile since I took a look at this.You've been busy I see.You know, if you want me too, I could give that Yuuto prick a migraine or something.Think about it. I guess Braddy-boy hasn't read through your little diary here yet, has he?I think we would have heard the sound of your little bones snapping as he pounded you to a bloody pulp.LOL

I'm really your favorite?Cool.And I'm NOT a mother hen… who else is gonna nurse you?You're so pathetic when you're sick.You can never do things half way, can you?When you're sick, you're flat on your back, helpless.Kinda cute actually.

Just for your information, I am bi, thank you very much.And those are 'clubbing clothes'!They do NOT scream 'Fuck Me NOW!'The girls (and guys) do when they see me in them.And another thing… I'm not moody!You make me sound like I've got PMS or something.You should be getting back soon… I can 'hear' you two in the elevator.

Dammit, Schu!I told you not to steal this anymore!Come one, there's stuff in here I don't want Brad to see.You having it out in the middle of the living room is NOT a good thing.If you're gonna read it, cause there is obviously NO way I can keep you out of it… at least do it in your room where Brad won't see you.If he catches you reading my journal he's gonna be suspicious.I'm already in enough trouble over Omi and Yuuto.I don't need him seeing the rest of the stuff in there.PLEASE, Schu… I'm begging you… don't get him curious.

Sorry, chibi.Does this mean I can steal it?That's what it sounds like; you're giving me permission as long as Brad doesn't catch me.I don't know… Where's your sense of adventure?Where's the risk?Where's the temptation of fate?

Safely stored away with the possibility of oh, I don't know… DEATH!Or maiming at the very least.Cause that's what will happen to me if Brad gets this notebook.He's been… kinda mellow lately.I'm not sure if it's a permanent thing yet or not.But I'm NOT going to try it.I'm kinda attached to this life… or at the very least, my head.

Hmm, true.Okay, I'll try to keep Crawfish from getting his hands on this… After all, I don't want to lose access to this fine literary masterpiece you have going here…^_^

Don't start.And you're still my favorite.-Nagi


	16. Day 16: Weekend Fun (my sad sad life)

Nagi's Journal

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 16: Weekend Fun (my sad sad life…)

To add to the unparalled joy of this assignment, this weekend we're supposed to write about what we do.-_-;I'm still grounded… until Monday.So, here is my wonderful, exciting, joyous Saturday.

First, Brad wakes me up at 8:00… to tell me he's leaving.Like I care at 8 am on a Saturday that Brad is leaving!I hate when he does stuff like that.A note on the refrigerator would have sufficed.So after he tears me out of a sound sleep…I try to just roll over and go back to dreamland.I'd been having a really good one too.Omi was in it and a pair of handcuffs and… well, you get the picture.Do you think I could go back to it?No, of course not.Basically, I refused to move from the bed even though I was awake.I figured if I lay there long enough, I'd fall back asleep.Did I?No, of course not.Finally around 9:30 I gave up.Between my bladder and my stomach I didn't really have a choice in the matter.

So I get up and take a shower and stumble down the hall to the kitchen.Do you think Brad had made enough coffee for all of us?No, of course not.So it's about 10 and I'm standing there waiting for the coffee to finish and trying to decide if I really wanted breakfast or could I wait till lunch.Then Schu comes in.First words out of his smirking mouth… 'What are you making for breakfast?'*sigh*So NOW, I have to cook for him and Farf. And do they eat a nice traditional Japanese breakfast?No, of course not.They need eggs, and toast, and bacon, just the idea makes me nauseous.I've never understood their love of bacon.So they have their food and I have my rice and miso, I was cooking anyways.They get up, leaving their dishes on the table.

Schu reappears with his coat on and tells me that he's taking Farf to his doctor's appointment and then they're going to go have some fun.Which for them can mean anything from going to the zoo (which with Farf is always entertaining), to going bowling, to stalking someone or Farf hunting pigeons in the park.You never can tell.As I'm piling the dishes in the sink, apparently I'm now supposed to wash them, Schu shouts over his shoulder.'Nagi, Brad left a note with the chores that have to be done today, it's on the hall table.'Then… he leaves.Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!!!!

I wash the dishes and finish tiding up the kitchen and then I go looking for this note.On the hall table is a deceptively small piece of paper.Life doesn't like me… that's all there is too it.Since Farf and Schu left me, this is going to take all day…I have to clean and vacuum the living room and office, clean the kitchen (already did that at least) including going through the fridge (damn!), find out why Farf's sink is clogged (eeewww!), file the paperwork for Schwarz… etc. etc. etc…

Okay, since I'm already almost done in the kitchen I might as well finish it.I get out a pair of those rubber gloves we usually use for doing dishes and face the science experiment that is our refrigerator.Since nothing attacks me as I open the door I decide nothing has achieve sentience… yet.Left over take-out, two-week old milk, some stuff in containers that is well beyond identifiable, some 'thing' left in the fruit drawer… at least nothing is moving under it's own power.I get that job done as quickly as possible.Scratch one room off the list.

Alright, living room is next.Schu and Farf had a movie night again last night so the coffee table is a mess.Did they pick up after themselves?No, of course not.Snack remains, empty cans, ashtray…Once I can see the table again, I hit it with the wood cleaner.I tuck the couch cushions back where they belong and locate the remote under the chair.Then I hit everything with the dust cloth.With my luck lately, Brad would check.Vacuum the carpet… okay that room only took an hour.By now it is about noon and I desperately want to check my email.I haven't been able to all week and I really want to talk to Omi.How would anyone know?Then the phone rings.It's Brad.He tells me, 'Don't even think about that email… or you'll be grounded for another week.'Then he hangs up.Damn!Of all the times for him to have a vision about a mundane thing.

Fine then, the office is next.Since it is Brad's domain there really isn't all that much cleaning that needs to be done.There is the pile of documents on the desk to be filed, but I'll do that after I'm done with all the cleaning. Vacuum, I'm done.I decide to run the cleaner up and down the hall too, just in case.By this time it's about one o'clock, but I'm really not hungry yet so I'll forgo lunch till I'm done.

Okay, now the job I've been putting off… Farf's sink.I don't even like to go in Farf's bedroom let alone his bathroom.He's the only one with a private bath, so we can lock him in and don't have to worry about things like potty breaks.Of course there's no mirror or anything sharp in there.So what's wrong with the sink?Well, it's obviously plugged up, since there is about two inches of water standing in the basin.I tried the pull stopper… nothing.*sigh*I fetch a bucket from our utility closet and put it under the sink.I can't tell if it's in the trap or farther along, the only way to find out is to remove the s-pipe and see.

Problem number one.It's harder than Hell to get to the freakin' trap.The bathroom is tiny, compared to the communal one down the hall, so the sink is wedged in between the tub and the wall.Good thing I'm flexible, not to mention small, or I'd never get in there.Problem number two.I can't get the things that hold the pipe in place to unscrew.I know, real technical terms here, but I don't know what they're actually called.They're just the screw thingies that hold the pipes together.I finally resort to using a bit of my power to loosen them up.Problem number three.The trap is stuck.I pull on it a few times and try to rock it out… when it gives suddenly spraying water and assorted other junk everywhere.

Can we say, ick?!It's soooo disgusting.I'm going to have to shower and change after this.But I did find the problem.Somehow, he had knocked a small bottle down into the drain.It was stopped by the trap and gradually built up a clog.I replaced the pipe, resealed it and checked to make sure the water was going down now, it was.I cleaned up the bathroom and went to clean up myself… again.

By the time I felt sanitary again (can I say again, eww!) it was 3:00, and I hadn't even started the paper work yet.And I still wasn't hungry.Somehow the whole deal in Farf's bathroom had greatly lessened my appetite.While I was in the shower someone had called, so I checked the messages.First, Brad, he would be in by 8.Second, Schu, he and Farf were having a good time; they wouldn't be in until later.Great, I was on my own for dinner.Well, at least I would have quiet for my paperwork.Maybe I could get done early enough so I could sketch or read till someone got back.With that pleasant thought in mind, I settled in at Brad's computer.

I should have known better.As I accessed his computer and one of my watchdog programs starts yelling at me.Somehow… somewhere… Brad managed to download a virus.It wasn't really an evil thing, just annoying, and it took me an hour to get rid of it and make sure everything was okay.Then I could get started on the actual paperwork.Before I know it… it's after 7:30 and the door is opening.Brad's home.He comes in, sees me working and dumps another load on the desk.*sigh*

I finally get done with everything around 9:30.By now, I'm just tired, and I just want to go hide in my room.I head toward the hall, Brad's watching boxing on TV again.As I'm going through, the door opens and in tromps the other two members of our merry band.Schu takes one look at me and asks when was the last time I ate.-_-;Right there in front of everybody I couldn't lie… I mumbled something about that morning.Then of course, I catch Hell for not eating.'I wasn't hungry', isn't an excuse.And 'I was busy', doesn't work either.Ends up with Schu ordering a pizza and me getting watched like a hawk to make sure I ate some.I hate eating with an audience.Finally, they're satisfied and let me escape to my room.

I amuse myself for an hour or so with my sketchbook, drawing chibis of Omi and myself, and my psychotic family.By now it's getting close to midnight and I've been awake for what seems like forever.I can't wait till I'm un-grounded.Phone, computer, social life…If I can just survive tomorrow…-Nagi

Author's Note: The whole episode with the sink… really happened to me yesterday afternoon.The trap being stuck and everything.And I have to say, 'ick' is the word for it.My cat has this annoying tendency to play with the hair trap that keeps things from going down the drain.She pulls it to the side and then if she knocks something down, it falls into the drain.This is what happened.Suddenly my sink is stopped and I didn't know why.She had knocked in a small bottle of a product called Nu-skin, it's used to seal cuts and stuff like that, I use it to seal the henna when I do mehandi.Who knows how long it was in there before the whole thing was clogged.But it was very disgusting!Mental note… get a better drain stop…-Yanagi


	17. Day 17: Weekend Fun part 2 (my sad exist...

Nagi's Journal Amanda Burdick Normal Amanda Burdick 2 51 2001-10-20T00:23:00Z 2001-10-20T00:23:00Z 2 1034 5897 49 11 7241 9.3821 Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.  I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 17: Weekend Fun part 2 (my sad existence continues)

Continuing this weekend of fun and games… *sigh*  Sunday.  One day away from my parole.  Now if I can only keep from getting in trouble again.  Admittingly, I did deserve to be grounded this time.  I know better than to fight in school.  But dammit!  I was sick of having to let them push me around.  Mental note: Next time, don't get caught.

So yesterday was just soooooo much fun.  Somehow, I just knew today was going to be the same.  First thing… Brad wakes me up at 9.  Doesn't the man EVER sleep in?!  I mean… I'm a teenager; we're supposed to be comatose till noon on the weekend.  It's the only way we can ever catch up on the sleep we missed during the week.  And I miss more sleep than most.  Anyway, he wakes me up at nine -_-; and tells me to get up and get dressed, he has things for me to do.  Arrrrrgh.  I consider rolling over and going back to sleep again, just for the principle of the thing, but then I remembered that if I don't behave the Warden will lock me up for another week.

I drag myself, up out of bed and down the hall to the bathroom… only to find Schu has beaten me to it.  Damn!  What the Hell is he doing up this early?  He shouldn't be rising for at least another couple hours. But no, there he is.  Forget a shower.  I stumble back to my room and get dressed and then stumble back down the hall to the kitchen.  Can you tell I am so NOT a morning person?  At least I'm somewhat lucky, Brad's already made breakfast, even coffee.  I pour a cup of liquid life and grab the rice, miso, and fish left for me on the counter.  I ignore Brad's frown as I drink my coffee, he thinks it will stunt my growth.  Hate to break it to him, my time on the streets stunted it already.  I'm NOT going to get any bigger.  I haven't grown in three years, it's just not gonna happen.  Even Esset's doctor's said that, before they got fried anyway.

He looks up from his paper as I sit down.  I knew he was going to say it, I KNEW it.  'If you had gotten up when I told you to, you would have gotten a turn in the bathroom you know.'  Yup, he said it.  Couldn't just let it pass could he?  I just kinda frown at him, I'm still half asleep, it's a little too soon for witty retorts.  I finish my meal and grab a second cup of coffee before Schu can get in and hog the rest of the pot.  He just smirks as he slinks in and pats me on the head.  'Morning chibi.'  'I have a name!' I tell him.  He just laughs, inside my head and says, 'I know, Prodigy, but this is more fun.'  Arrrgh!  I hate that!  And I hate when he laughs in my head, it tickles.

I decide I might has well get it over with so I turn to Brad and ask him what he's got for me.  'First, I need you to go through the kitchen and make a list, we're going grocery shopping.'  Oh, God, NO!!!  Not shopping… not shopping with Brad!  It takes forever.  He has to compare all the prices and he's so anal about the coupons…  I just sigh and go to the junk drawer for paper and a pencil.  I step around Schu, who has to make his OWN breakfast this morning, ha ha, and start to open cupboards.  We get general household groceries, and then everyone has a few things they get for themselves.  We are NOT supposed to touch other peoples' food.  Course this never seems to apply to MY stuff.

I grumbled and add Pocky to my list.  Schu and Farf have been raiding my supplies again.  Luckily, there is still my emergency stash in the bedroom.  I NEED my Pocky.  Schu just smirks as I glare at him and toss the now empty box in the trash.  'Oops.'  He laughs.  Oops, yeah right.  Oops, my ass.  The fridge is next, I'm SO glad I cleaned it out yesterday, makes this job so much easier.  Okay, list is done.  Now I just need to poll everyone and find out if there is anything I've missed.  By the time I emerge from Farf's room, Brad is already putting on his coat.

Two and half hours later, we get back.  Have I mentioned I hate shopping with Brad?  He's so damn picky!  Then I get the joy of putting everything away.  No sooner is that all done, and the kitchen looks like a kitchen again.   Farf comes in to start fixing lunch.  Now, today is NOT my day to watch him, so I go into the living room hoping I can find at least ONE channel with animé still on.  The result?  He ends up playing with the blender, without supervision and makes a horrible mess.  Brad gets all pissy with Schu, who was supposed to be watching Farf, and then with ME cause I left Farf alone in the kitchen.  I really wanted to mouth off, sooooo bad.  But I didn't.  Grounding.  Parole.  Extended time for bad behavior.  

So being the angst-driven teen I am, I stomp off to my room to invest some quality time in my sketchbook.  No sooner am I settled in, comfy, with pencil in one hand and Pocky in the other, and Brad comes knocking.  'Did I finish my homework?'  Did I finish my homework?  Silly question really.  It's one o'clock on a Sunday afternoon, of course I HAVEN'T finished it yet!  My God, there's like 19 hours till any of it is due!  Do you think that reasoning would fly?  Course not.  Have to get up and do it NOW.  *sigh*  There goes my nice drawing time.  I consider just drawing for a while.  Would Brad ever really know?  Unfortunately the answer is 'yes' if I don't get my homework done and Ms. Psycho-Bitch calls him.

It really doesn't take all that long.  I mean puleeze?  It's only high school.  But it's Sunday AFTERNOON.  It's the principle of the thing.  So I get done and settle back in for drawing time.  The plan is a picture of Omi.  But I'm not sure if it will work out.  I'm really not great at portraits.  Maybe if I drew him manga-style… So I finally settle back in, again, get all comfy, Pocky, drawing, happy… I get about a third of the way through the picture… and someone ELSE is knocking on my door.

Farf.  Brad says I have to come out and help him with dinner if I'm done with my homework.  Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!!!!  It's just not fair.  Can't I get ANY time to myself this weekend?  Time when I don't have to clean, or do data entry, or fix Farf's sink?  I just keep repeating… one more day… just one more day…

Dinner was good; it always is if Farf cooks.  He's slowly teaching me too.  At least, if I helped cook, I don't have to clean.  Nyah, Schu!  You actually had to do something this weekend!!  ^_^  I really tried to talk Brad into letting me call Omi this evening.  I mean, my period of incarceration is almost over, what would it hurt?  Did he budge an inch?  No, course not.  I can't wait till tomorrow.  But for now, it's after supper, no one can tell me to do anything else today.  Now it's just me… and my bed… and my sketchbook and pencils… and a box of Pocky.  And if one more person interrupts me… I'm gonna shoot 'em.  -Nagi


	18. Day 18: Free Time?

Nagi's Journal 

Nagi's Journal 

By Yanagi-sen 

Weiss Kreuz fanfic 

Usual disclaimers apply. Not mine, if they were, I would be a lot better off… 

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm doing, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possibly lemons, angst, dirty language and maybe violence. I CAN promise no character death, but that's about it… 

Day 18: Free Time? 

Today's entry is supposed to be about what we do in our `free time'. Free time… free time… I think I have to look that one up. I don't know what `free time' is. In all seriousness, WHEN am I supposed to have any free time? Between being in school, forever, and then homework, and then Schwarz-work, and missions… I barely get time to SLEEP let alone `free time'. 

Okay, I do get to get out occasionally. Usually, if I have free time (and I'm not grounded) I try to spend it with Omi. I don't think you necessarily have to call them `dates', but we do go out and do stuff. Usually something to eat, maybe a movie if there is anything good out (and we haven't spent our money on new computer stuff), and the café. Sometimes we'll hang out at the mall, or go computer shopping. Not that we buy stuff… but it's fun to look and try out the games and equipment. Especially when we start asking really technical questions that the clerks can't possibly know the answers to. Omi's talked about taking me over to his place eventually, if no one else is supposed to be home. I'm not sure if that means they don't know about us, or if they do and aren't happy. He hasn't shared. 

Besides doing stuff with Omi, I like to spend time on my computer. Chatting, surfing, hacking, playing games, it's all fun to me. Except when I have to do annoying stuff for Brad, but that falls under Schwarz-work and not `free time'. Once in a while, one of my online friends (ever notice how it is easier to make friends when they can't see you?) will ask me to help with their web page or something like that. I like doing it, since I can't have one of my own. Can you just SEE the fit if Brad found out I had a web page? Even under a pseudonym, he'd kill me. So I have to be creative with others pages. 

I also like to draw, a lot. Maybe as much as I like the computer. Only drawing is more satisfying at times because it all comes from within. In many ways it is the only way I can truly express myself. I'm not good verbally, I can't really write, I play the violin but I don't compose… so it's my drawing. They usually fall into one of two categories, `fun' and `therapy'. The fun pieces are my usual animé/manga, chibi Omi's that sort of thing. The therapy pieces are intensely emotional. No one ever sees them besides me. I don't give them to anyone, and I usually destroy them. It's not that I don't want anyone to know what I'm feeling; it's just that those pieces are VERY personal. I don't want to share. 

What else do I do? I read occasionally. Even out of a book! ^__^ I like fantasy and science fiction the best. Oh, and my manga. Hey, I consider that reading, and they come out more often than books do. Sometimes I'll read some online stuff. It's amazing what you can find online. Entire libraries! It's sooooo cool. 

I watch little TV. I can live without it and it's just easier to do something in my room than to fight Farf and Schu for the remote. I can usually get up Saturday and Sunday before Schu, so then I get the TV till the cartoons are off. Past that point, I don't really care what's on. I couldn't care less about sports and sitcoms bore me. Once in a great while, I'll rent an animé video or Schu and I will pick a few tapes together and have a movie night. But usually, I let them have the TV. 

I listen to music, but that's something I usually do while doing something else. I rarely listen just to listen. Every so often, I'll pull out Bavol's violin (yes I kept it) and tinker. I wouldn't say I'm good or anything, but I like to play around. And being able to read music is a useful skill. 

That's about it. `Free time' is such a foreign concept to me. I might get an hour or two a week, usually on the weekends, but that's it. I don't mind, all that much. I like to be busy. But once in a while… I'd really like a little more time for me. 

-Nagi 

Document created with wvWare/wvWare version 0.6.7 -->


	19. Day 19: Coming Clean (the truth, the who...

Nagi's Journal Amanda Burdick Normal Amanda Burdick 2 70 2001-10-24T10:57:00Z 2001-10-24T10:57:00Z 3 1616 9216 76 18 11317 9.3821 Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.  I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 19: Coming Clean (the truth, the whole truth…)

Well, I'm supposed to be writing about the most embarrassing moment in my life or something like that.  Like I would EVER commit something that potentially damaging to paper.  I'll do it… when I make my version to hand in.  Although, she hasn't mentioned it at all so maybe we will be spared that indignity.  Since I'm not doing what I should be doing… I guess I should write about what happened last night with Omi.

My family found out about out little relationship a little while ago… but Omi still hadn't told the guys he lives with.  I'm not sure if like me he was afraid of what their reaction would be or whether he just wanted to keep us private, I don't know.  But he asked me to meet him yesterday after school in our usual place.  He was fidgeting when I got there, which for Omi meant he was playing with one of his darts.  Flipping it up in the air and catching it again, over and over.  I could only hope it wasn't one of his loaded ones.  I froze it in mid-air as I came up behind him.  He stiffened and suddenly turned around.  I got the impression that he's just been, meditating, for lack of a better term, and the flipping dart was part of that.

He smiled; I love his smile, and patted the bench beside him.  I plucked the dart out of the air and handed it back to him, where it promptly vanished.  I have no idea where he keeps half the stuff he carries, I never see them.  Even with the dart out of his hands, I could tell he was nervous.  He kept fiddling with the sleeve of his coat.  Suddenly I got this chill.  What if he'd decided he didn't want to continue seeing me?  Did he call me here to break up?  That's the only thing I could think of that could get him that nervous.  I could feel the edges of a panic attack coming on.  

He looked up then, from studying his hands and frowned.  He must have caught a hint of what I was thinking.  He's gotten very good at reading my face, expressionless as it can be at times.  He reached over and took my hand, warming it between his own.  I'm always so cold, he's always warm.  'Nagi… what's wrong?' He asked.

I just shook my head and asked him why he wanted to see me.  He looked down, but didn't let go of my hand.  'I have something I want to do today, and it involves you.'  I jerked my hand out of his; I was sure this was it.  If it was, if it was… I knew I was retreating behind my walls again, but I'd need them to get home, THEN I could fall apart. 'Nagi?'  He seemed puzzled.  I told him that if he wanted to break up then just do it and get it over with.  His eyes got huge and he said in this shocked voice, 'You think I want to break up with you?'  I told him wasn't that why he'd called me out here?  

Omi just threw his arms around me.  'Oh God, NO.  I love you.'  Then he kissed me.  Right there in public, where anyone could see us, he hugged me and kissed me.  Suddenly I felt so foolish.  But I've been hurt so many times before by people who were supposed to love me, it's hard to believe someone isn't going to do that.  I relaxed, finally, and buried my face in his shoulder.  He just kept rubbing my back and murmuring to me softly.  Suddenly, something he said caught my attention.

'You want to do what?'  I asked.  He said he wanted to tell the guys about us.  And he wanted ME to come with him.  'Are you sure that is safe?'  I wondered.  I mean.  It's a toss up who's the colder bastard at times, Brad Crawford or Ran Fujimiya.  And Youji and Ken aren't exactly known for their even tempers at times either.  At least, that's been my experience with them.  Experience that usually took place on the battlefield (figuratively).  That's doesn't promote a warm and fuzzy feeling between rivals.  And the fact that I'm dating their youngest team member.  I know how protective MY teammates can be… I can only assume Weiss would be similar, if not more so.  They are the 'good guys' after all.

Omi just smiled and said it'll be all right, but he wanted me to be there.  I asked him when.  He smiled, a bit sheepishly, and asked if I could come over to the flower shop now.  NOW?!!!!  As in, this minute?  No time to prepare?  No time to let Schu know where I was going?  No time to write my will?  He just smiled again and then pulled me up with him as he stood.  

Now, if I had truly not wanted to go, no force on Earth could have moved me.  I'd have just dug in with my powers and NOTHING could have stirred me.  But… Omi looked at me with those big, blue eyes of his… and I allowed myself to be dragged from the park.  I put up a token resistance, couldn't let it be too easy for him after all, but I didn't really fight it.  We hopped on the bus… gotta love the transit system here, and headed over to the Koneko no Sume Ie… I swear that was the longest and the shortest ride of my life.  Long, cause all I could think about was how Ran was going to run me through, short, cause I didn't have a chance to think of a way out of this.  Before I knew it, we were walking down the alley behind the shop and entering the back door that leads up to the apartment above.

Omi said the others would be closing the shop soon, he'd told them he had something to tell them, so they should all be coming.  I asked if it wouldn't be better for me to just kill myself NOW and save them the trouble, and he laughed.  The little asshole laughed!  I'm facing a grisly death and he's laughing.  So, in true teenager form, I sat down on the couch and sulked.  Works every time.  Within a minute he's on the couch with me, begging me to not be mad at him, he's sorry; he didn't mean to laugh and make me feel bad.  Oh God his eyes are filling… I can't possibly hold out against Omiitchi's Eyes of Cuteness, TM.  Of course I melt and tell him I'm not really mad at him, I'm scared of what his housemates are going to do to me.  His eyes get a little harder, Bombay peeking out at me, and he said they better NOT do anything.  It's a good thing to remember that 'Bombay' is in there.  That the genki kid we know as Omi is only part of the whole.  There is also a killer in there, one that's been doing this for longer than anyone else, except maybe Brad, and that's only because Brad's older.

Just then, the door opened and we could hear the other members of Weiss entering the apartment.  I couldn't help it; I could feel the nervousness returning.  I know it didn't show on my face, I've spent years cultivating that non-expression, but Omi could tell.  Probably because I'd gone back to the cool, collected, façade I fall back on whenever I'm stressed.  He smiled reassuredly and stood.  I stayed right where I was.  I knew I didn't look like a threat anyways, but they had seen me in action.  If I stayed seated, it was more likely they would see me as a kid first and an assassin second.  I hoped.

Youji was the first one to come into the living room.  He kinda paused in the doorway, and looked at me.  Then he smirked, in that lazy way of his that reminded me of Schu and came in to lounge in a chair.  'Hi bishounen.'  He said and smiled, posing.  That's one thing I've notice about Youji.  He is always aware of how he looks.  He never just sits, or stands, or walks.  He poses or saunters, always conscious about his appearance.  He is definitely the most 'cat-like' of the four.  

Ken was next.  He isn't as guarded as the others; he tends to wear his emotions out where everyone can see them.  He was shocked to see me, plain as day.  But you could tell how much he trusted his team.  He didn't say anything; just looked at Omi and Youji to make sure they were ok, took in Omi's position (hovering over me) and then nodded.  You could tell he was burning with curiosity, but he was patient enough to wait.  Omi trusted me; therefore there wasn't anything wrong.  He found his way to another chair and just flopped into it, not caring how he looked.

Finally, the one I was dreading, Ran.  He walked in and froze.  His eyes hardened into amethyst and you could feel the temperature of the room drop about 20 degrees.  He glared at me and then at Omi.  'Explain.' He said.

'Ran… it's okay.  I asked Nagi to come with me.'  Then he sat down next to me and just picked up my hand, letting that simple gesture explain everything.

Youji smirked and ran his fingers through his hair.  Ken's eyes resembled saucers.  Ran stiffened more, if possible and repeated himself.  'Explain.'  Youji rolled his eyes.  'Ran… you've got eyes don't you… they're dating you moron.'  Ran got all huffy, like a cat that's been rubbed the wrong way and stamped out.  Youji shook his head while Ken sighed.  Omi started to speak. 'I didn't mean…'  'Don't worry about it.'  Youji interrupted.  'He'll come around.  You know Ran.  He doesn't deal well with change.  And thinking of Nagi as your boyfriend and not our enemy is a big change.'  Then Youji looked right at me. 'Nagi, just try to stay out of his way for a while.  Don't be alone with him and you should be alright.'  I nodded, course I wasn't going to be alone with Ran.  Was he joking?  I make it a policy to NEVER be alone with someone who wants to run me through, and that applies to Farf as well.

Ken sighed again.  'Are you happy, Omi?'  He asked.  Omi said yes, happier than he'd ever been.  Ken smiled and stood.  'Then that's good enough for me.  I'll talk to Ran.'  He disappeared after their recalcitrant leader.  Youji smirked as he too stood.  'I've got to get ready for a date.  You two behave.'  He winked at me and left.  And that was it.  I was officially Omi's boyfriend.  And I wasn't even dead.

We celebrated with dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and then spent the rest of the evening at the café.  Miki wasn't working, but she was there to just hang out, so was Kazuya.  Omi got suckered into another round of chess games with the redhead and so I spent the evening cheering him on and chatting with Miki.  Miki's friend Yachii arrived later and joined our little group.  We had a lot of fun.  You know, not being grounded is a very good thing.  So is not being dead.  And I was neither grounded nor dead, so it was a good night.  And it's a bit of a relief that now I can call Omi and not have to pretend to be someone else.  We can go over to his place once in a while, even if we still can't go to mine.  But I'll work on Brad some more.  Maybe I can convince him that Omi is safe to bring home.  I hope so.  Omi's got to try Farf's cooking.  –Nagi

Author's Note: I know the Weiss boys technically have separate apartments above the Koneko… but I like the idea of them sharing space.  Makes for more possible interactions and all that.  Also another cameo today by Miki and joined by our friend Yachii, who someday will get caught up with this story and see herself in it.  ^__~   -Yanagi


	20. Day 20: Can I please die now? (really......

Nagi's Journal Amanda Burdick Normal Amanda Burdick 2 102 2001-10-26T12:26:00Z 2001-10-26T12:26:00Z 2 1066 6081 50 12 7467 9.3821 Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.  I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 20: Can I please die now? (really… please?)

Oh, God.  I don't even feel like typing today.  I'm definitely not up for my usual handwritten version.  Can I die yet?  I suppose I should explain why I'm currently moaning in bed instead of suffering through yet another day of educational enrichment.  It started with the little 'job' Brad had lined up for us last night.  It sounded like the usual shakedown crap we do.  Brad's not really that picky about jobs like this, as long as the parties involved aren't fleecing the innocent sheep or raping the lambs.  A minor Yakuza gang 'forgot' to pay the larger one.  So we were hired to… encourage the small fry to cough up the money.  Not a big deal.  We probably do a dozen of these things a week.  Another day, another dollar.

But one of Schu's contacts had heard that this minor gang had a tendency to hole up all together, maybe 15, 20 in all.  As I said, small time group.  So instead of just sending in Schu and Farf like usual, Brad decided we'd all go in.  A nice show of unity, Schwarz kicking ass all together.  Whatever.

So we go in.  Either they had been tipped off or they guessed someone was coming for them, but they were ready for us.  Brad must not have done enough preliminary work since he missed it.  Not that I would say that to his face.  Anyway, they were ready.  Brad and I go in, to do the talking, well, him to talk, me to watch his back and keep a shield ready.  Farf had already entered and was lurking in the rafters; Schu came in through the back and was waiting.  I don't know what went wrong.  One minute, Brad and the boss are calmly discussing payment options and the next minute bullets are flying.  There was no warning, not from Brad, not from Schu.  It surprised me.  I felt a sharp pain in my left leg just before I got the shield up around us.  I was wearing a bulletproof vest of course; Brad doesn't let me out of the house on 'jobs' without it.  Two seconds and it's an honest-to-God firefight in there.  I think THEY shot more of their own people than we did.  Anyway, we pulled out as fast as we could.  

Brad was swearing up a storm the whole way home.  You could tell the price for that job had just gone up.  Someone messed up somewhere, and when Brad found out whom… I'm glad it wasn't me.  Okay, the adrenaline started to wear off and I realized, I'd been fucking SHOT!  Okay, so it was only a graze, but it HURTS!!!  And I'm bleeding all over Brad's BMW.  Farf looks over as I clutch my leg and starts swearing in Gaelic… which of course no one understands but him, but everyone gets the general idea.  Schu glances back, joins in German and starts pawing through the glove box for the first aid kit.

We get home and I'm still bleeding like a stuck pig, it's gonna be a bitch to get it out of the upholstery, Schu carried me cause he didn't want me to walk on the leg till they'd gotten a look at it.  Now, I hadn't really been feeling well all day.  But I just figured it was a cold or something like that, it's the time of year for them.  By now, however, I'm downright nauseous, and starting to get light-headed.  I had to submit to the indignity of sitting on the kitchen table in my boxers, while Brad and Schu poke and prod my leg, painfully, while Farf looks on at all the blood.  By the time they're done… I'm feeling ready to go pray to the porcelain gods for a while.  Schu takes one look at my face and asks why I'm gray…  Duh!  I'm sick you moron!  He feels my head and before I know it, I'm shuffled off to bed with a thermometer in my mouth and three 'mothers' hovering.

General consensus, especially after I throw up, is that I have the flu.  Lovely.  My favorite.  They end up giving me a sleeping pill cause with my leg there was NO WAY I was getting to sleep on my own.  So once my leg dies down to a throbbing ache instead of red-hot pokers in my skin… I fall asleep.  

And wake up early the next morning to be sick again.  No school today.  I can barely keep down weak tea.  And to add to the fun and games… the pretty little lights start flashing… migraine.  The morning sun started to creep in through the partially open blinds… can we say, pain!  I thank whatever gods watch over sick people that Schu came to check on me.  I couldn't get up to close the blinds on my own.  He took one look at my face and made my room as dark as possible.  He really tried to get me to take my medicine, for the migraine, but I just couldn't keep anything down long enough for it to work.  By midmorning, I'm reduced to lying and moaning.  I want a mommy.

It's kinda funny, no matter how old you are, how 'tough' you are, when you're really sick, you want your mommy.  Course, my real mother never would have won any awards but a surrogate will do.  Schu usually fills that role nicely.  But he's not here right now.  Him and Brad had to go bitch to the Yakuza who hired us about last night.  Schu's really good at bitching.  But that leaves me with no one to take care of me.  Farf's not the world's best nursemaid most of the time.  He's trying, he really is… but he's not having one of his best days either.  So I resigned myself to just laying there until the other two got home.

I must have dozed off, somehow, cause the next thing I knew, there was a light tap at the door.  Now this really confused me, since everyone usually just walks in if I'm sick.  Not that they're being rude, they just know that I'll wake up anyways if the door opens.  That light tapping comes again and I hear Farf tell whomever it is to just go on in.  The door cracks slightly, I can't see who it is cause of the light from the hallway, but they are shorter than anyone I live with.

'Nagi?'

It's him.  What was HE doing here?  I told him to come in.  The door shut and he knelt beside my futon.  Omi laid a cool hand on my forehead; he must have walked most of the way.  He asked me how I was feeling, then said never mind.  I asked why he was there.  It wasn't that I wasn't happy to see him, it just surprised me.  He said Schu had called him on his cell phone and asked if he would come over and sit with me till he got back.  I'll have to speak with Schu about digging in my head for phone numbers again, but for now… I'm just glad Omi's here.  He made me tea and broth and actually got me to drink some.  We tried crackers but that didn't work at all.  Mostly, he just sat with me and talked.

It was nice having Omi curled up with me and I fell back asleep.  By the time I woke up again, Schu was there and Omi was gone.  Schu said he had snuck out of work and had to leave as soon as they got back.  Omi had promised to come back and check on me tomorrow, if it was okay with Brad.  Brad wasn't too happy about Omi coming over in the first place, but he realized that Farf wasn't up to caring for me today.  I'll probably be staying home from school tomorrow too.  Hopefully if Omi can come over again, I'll feel well enough to actually enjoy his visit.  But for now… I'm going to sleep.      -Nagi


	21. Day 21: The Joys of Absenteeism (no scho...

Nagi's Journal Amanda Burdick Normal Amanda Burdick 2 59 2001-10-29T22:42:00Z 2001-10-29T22:42:00Z 2 1104 6298 52 12 7734 9.3821 Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.  I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 21: The Joys of Absenteeism (no school, no Yuuto, no teachers, ^_^)

If I had enough energy I'd dance around the room.  Brad decided I'm still too sick to go to school.  Yippee!!!  At least I can actually sit UP today.  And the migraine is basically gone, I still have a headache but that's nothing new… I always have a headache it seems.  I can eat things today, and they stay where they are supposed to.  I'm still running a fever though, so that's why Brad said I was staying here.  I actually have the flu, not one of those 24-bugs, so I could potentially be out of school all week.  Damn my bad luck.  ^_^

It's not as if I'm going to fall behind.  Brad went to the school this morning and picked up my books and assignments so I can work on them.  What a bummer, I was hoping to avoid that for another day or so.   Oh well, at least this way, Yuuto isn't a problem.  He's still being an ass.  He's all pissy since that fight and the sex ed thing.  But he's avoiding me; I think he's afraid he'll pick up 'gay germs' or something.  *rolls eyes*  Whatever.

I can't sit at my desk and use my usual computer, but that's what I have my laptop for.  It's really cool being a member of Schwarz sometimes; I get all the neat toys.  Of course, I tell Brad that they will help me do my job better… sometimes they do.  Most of the time, I just want the cool toys.  Now the laptop does serve a practical purpose… it's portable for missions and all that.  But it's also good for sitting in bed and playing games.  Luckily, Brad hasn't dumped a new load of Schwarz paperwork on me yet, I think he's waiting for tomorrow for that.  I do have a stack of finished schoolwork if he should just happen to stop in.  He won't realize it takes me half the time I tell him to do it, but oh well.  I doubt he'll 'see' it, homework really isn't important enough to merit a vision.

Course I'd be happy if he would 'see' Omi coming over.  I haven't had a chance to ask yet.  I would really appreciate it if Brad would loosen up enough to let him visit.  A week trapped here with only my fellow Schwarz members… not my idea of a good time, especially if I start feeling better.  Brad's no fun, Farf's half out of it again, and Schu… he's remarkably restrained right now, I expect that will change within a day.  I can only take so much teasing before I loose it, it amuses him.  Hell, just about everything amuses him, from puppies playing to sadistic murder.  Schu is easily amused.

I really liked having Omi here yesterday.  It was odd, since he was here at home and we'd never met except in public before, but it was nice.  It's so weird having someone who cares.  That's not exactly true.  Brad, Farf, and Schu care, they just have different ways of showing it.  But with Omi, you can tell he cares.  He lets you know, with his actions and words, and especially with his eyes.  One thing I've noticed with him, he can lie with his smile, with his words and attitude, but he can't lie with his eyes.  No matter how genki he appears, if he's not feeling it, you can tell.  Or at least, I can.  Course, I've spent a lot of time looking at his eyes.

When we go out, Omi does most of the talking.  It's not that he's controlling the conversation; he just has things to say.  He likes to talk; it's part of his nature.  I'm not a talkative person.  I'll throw in my two-cents when asked or when I feel I have something important to say, but I can't ramble for no reason.  He can.  It's actually nice.  Cause unlike Schu, who sometimes likes to talk just to hear his own voice (I'll get to that in a minute), Omi talks cause he knows I'm listening.  He values my thoughts, so he'll tell me stuff to see what I think.  Brad respects that I can think (unlike the other two half the time ^_~ ), but he rarely asks for an opinion.  If he does, the situation is usually bad.  Omi cares enough to wonder about my feelings.  It's a nice change.

I said I'd get to Schu's love of his own voice.  This is actually something that took me a couple years to figure out.  Occasionally, Schu will get in these moods and just ramble on incessantly for what seems like hours, and actually does on occasion.  And he doesn't seem to care who is listening, I've even caught him talking to air a few times.  Now, sanity has never been a consideration for membership in Schwarz, I mean, look at Farf, and so someone carrying on a conversation with invisible spirits isn't a cause for alarm.  It took me a while to realize, that he was trying to anchor himself, so to speak.  Schu has a tendency to get a little lazy with his shields, you know, those little mental barriers that keep everyone else out and him in.  So every so often, he gets holes in them, or they outright collapse.  Those times are Hell.

If it's just the holes, he can repair his shielding in a couple of hours, but during that time, he's psyche is basically adrift.  To keep himself focused on the here and now, he talks, about anything and everything to whomever will listen.  It's the only way he can separate 'him' from the thousands of other minds pressing in on him.  I've also noticed that you can tell how BAD the shields have gotten by how he's talking.  The more frantic, higher-pitched, babbling he's doing, the worse it is.  Once he calms down and slows down, he's getting better, until, he'll just stop.  Right in the middle of whatever he was saying and smirk and go on his way.  It's really unnerving.  I try to be polite and stay with him when he's like that.  Farf gets bored pretty quick and Brad can't be bothered except to comment that if Schu paid more attention this wouldn't happen.  So I get left listening to him.  I can't just leave him like that.  What if the shields fail completely?

Now when his shields totally collapse… *shudders*  I've only seen it happen twice.  Once when we were still at the Esset training facility, talk about Hell on Earth, and once since we've been in Japan.  Repairing shields takes a few hours, depending on how bad they are.  Building or rebuilding shields from scratch… takes days.  That's why I NEVER let mine go down, ever.  We were all trained to shield, after all, Esset doesn't control ALL the psis around the world, just most of them.  So there is always the possibility that we could encounter a rogue psi.  Shield training was one of the worst things I ever had to do, but I'll get into that another day.  The point is, I know from experience how difficult building personal shields from the ground up can be.  To have to try to do that while 'listening' to EVERY mind in a mile radius… it's possible that my migraines are worse… but it would be a toss up.  I'm surprised that Schu hasn't gone insane at those times.  I can only chalk it up to his will to survive, to spite the entire world that seems to what to destroy him.  It was scary, those two times when he lost it.  I thought he wouldn't come back.

Well, I've certainly worked myself into a dark mood.  And pulling up memories of my Esset training… Great, just what I need.  My nightmares come to life.  Not a good thing when I'm already sick.  And to sit here and brood over my teammates and their neurotic tendencies.  *sigh*  Maybe Omi will be online and we can chat.  I need some cheering up right now.

-Nagi


	22. Day 22: Still Here... (and still sick......

Nagi's Journal Amanda Burdick Normal Amanda Burdick 2 47 2001-11-02T12:50:00Z 2001-11-02T12:50:00Z 2 943 5376 44 10 6602 9.3821 Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm doing, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, angst, dirty language, maybe violence.  I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 22: Still here… (and still sick… -_-;)

Still here, still sick… I've reached the point when the novelty of staying home sick has worn off and I just want to get out of here.  I've been trapped in my room for three days, only being allowed to leave to go to the bathroom.  Okay, so for the first day I was essentially flat on my back and out of it, and yesterday wasn't really much better, but today…  I'm getting bored.  I can't stare at the smaller screen on my laptop for too long before my eyes get tired, but they won't let me sit up in a chair so I can use the bigger monitor on my computer.  Farf has essentially commandeered the TV, so I can't even go be bored out there.  Well, I could, but Farf's idea of entertainment and mine are VASTLY different.  I've read all the books I have here and I don't really want to do yet another reread.  I don't feel inspired enough to draw.  This just sucks.

I really want to get out.  I'm starting to feel better, and cabin fever is setting in.  Couldn't tell, ne?  I've done all the homework Brad brought home already.  He said he'd stop again today and see if there was anything else.  Yippee.  Somehow, homework is NOT really what I want to do.  I'm all caught up on the Schwarz paperwork and accounts, so nothing there.  I'm not quite well enough to go hacking, still a little slow on the reaction time, and if I got caught… Brad would have a cow.  *snicker*  Brad having a cow… where do people come up with these things?  I mean, besides being anatomically impossible the entire idea is ludicrous.  This is sad.  I must REALLY be bored, or still really sick if I'm analyzing clichés.

I'm bored, bored, bored, bored, bored… Come on guys… is it THAT great a sacrifice to come entertain me for a little while?  I don't ask for much, but a little company would be nice.  But NOOOO… Brad's in his office, he's not the entertaining type anyways.  Farf is watching the TV… which means he'll be there till Schu wrestles the remote from him, Brad needs him to go kill someone, or it's time to start dinner.  And Schu… is who know where…  He's been doing that a lot lately.  Disappearing for a little while.  Never for too long.  Never at the same time.  But he just leaves… Which leaves me to speculate on what the 'Slut' is doing…  *smirk*  

Which I'm NOT going to write here cause we've already established that he does not understand the sanctity of the private journal and I would like to keep my brain unscrambled.

Let's see, what am I SUPPOSED to be writing about?  Your favorite color and why… uh huh… is she scraping the bottom of the barrel here or what?  How is 'your fav color' a meaningful journal exercise?  What is my favorite color anyway?  Hmm… certainly not that crappy gray I have to wear everyday.  I mean, yuck!  It's not flattering to anyone… least of all me!  Let's see… I like black.  I think it makes me look taller.  But Schu always says I look like a ghost, too pale, especially in the black.  Hmmm… green really doesn't go with my eyes… Brown… dull.  I love that heather-violet sweater I have… Omi likes it too.  Omi… hmm… I know.  My favorite color… Omi's eyes.  

Okay, THAT was sappy.  But it's true.  I love his eyes.  They're this amazing blue that changes with his mood.  Not drastically, but subtle, like you have to be paying attention to notice it.  When he's happy, his eyes are like the bluest blue sky you've ever seen.  Like in the summer, when there are only a few fluffy white clouds and the sky seems to go on forever.  And when he's sad, there is this bit of gray that creeps into them, the way colors are dulled by the rain.  You know, when the clouds filter all the light and everything… is just gray.  And then, when he's angry… they darken.  I can't really describe those, except to say… it's THEN you see what a killer he can be.  

I don't suppose anyone else notices his eyes the way I do.  I mean, they probably see the soulful, blue, sometimes teary eyes that look far too young and innocent for his age.  What a mask!  I think he hides his true nature the best of any of them.  But he can't lie with his eyes.  I don't know how they can miss it.  Except that you see what you want to see.  They want to see him as the innocent boy, untouched by the things he has to do, the 'pure one'.  I see his soul.  I see his pain.  I see his guilt.  It must be hard, to feel things the way he does.  I don't let myself feel.  At least, not as much.  Schu's drawn me out some, Omi's done more, but I still have parts of me that I won't touch, and I won't let be touched.  Then again… I don't have to kill as much as he does.  Brad doesn't like me killing.  He's trying to 'protect' me as much as he can.  Sorry, Brad.  I was tainted long before you met me.

The streets will do that to you.  Age you before your time.  Taint your soul, if you can even keep it.  And I was out there really young.  My five years in Hell.  I'm still surprised sometimes that I survived, as intact as I am.  I was a mess when Brad found me.  Still am in many ways.  Esset didn't help.  They were never really interesting in keeping their lackeys hale and healthy, just obedient.  Good little lapdogs.  I'm really glad Brad wasn't one of them.  He did as the fossils asked, when they asked, but he was NEVER a lackey.  Therefore, neither were we.  But I'm getting away from my point, if there is a point amidst all this babbling… I envy Farf sometimes.  He either doesn't realize what a mess he is, or he doesn't care.  Unfortunately for me, I know exactly how much of a freak I am and how screwed up my psyche is.  But oh well… I just push it all to the back of my mind and keep going.  I'm sure it will all come back to haunt me someday, but till then, I'm just not going to worry about.  Okay so that's a lie I always worry about stuff, but I know I'm not going to do anything about it.  Repress, deny, ignore… that's my nature.

I looked back over this and realized how much I've been rambling.  Oh well. It's kept me busy.  I'm sooooo not looking forward to when I have to edit this monster.  I hope Ms. Bitch gives us a little warning.  Otherwise… I'm so screwed.  -Nagi


	23. Day 23: The End of the World (editing pa...

Nagi's Journal Amanda Burdick Normal Amanda Burdick 2 55 2001-11-04T23:34:00Z 2001-11-04T23:34:00Z 2 1078 6147 51 12 7548 9.3821 Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm doing, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, angst, dirty language, maybe violence.  I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 23: The End of the World (editing panic…)

AAAiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!  It's happened.  Ms. Psycho Bitch has told us to hand in our journals.  I get back in school today and THAT'S the joy I come back too.  Luckily, I have TONIGHT to fix everything, cause I told her some of my stuff was at home.  I got an extension for being sick.  One night.

Omi's coming over to help me, Brad's got a dinner to go to with some clients.  I basically told Schu and Farf that if they disturbed Omi and me tonight I would pin them to the wall and let him use them for target practice.  Since I had them frozen to their seats while I said this, I think they got the picture.

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God… I can't believe this.  We have to go through every entry and remove any mention of Schwarz, Weiss, Omi's name, anything related to my work as a hacker and assassin, anything that would get me in trouble with the teacher, in short… most everything.  And I have to make up those assignments that I really didn't do.  This is going to take forever.  I already made arrangements with Schu to have him look over entries as we finish them.  Hopefully if we miss something he will catch it.  

Day 1: I have to get rid of all the assassin references.  My life story can stand as long as I take out any mention of my power.  Brad really gets pissy if we let the general populace know we have 'gifts'.  Okay… we defiantly have to omit references to Esset.  They may be more or less defunct now but I'm not taking that risk.  I better generate some BS as filler.

Day 2: Okay, more Esset references to eliminate, oh and powers.  Probably should tone down the parts about Farf… actually about all of them, don't want the teacher reporting me to social services…  they may be dysfunctional, but they're still my family.

Day 3: More Esset… you know, for as much as I hated them I sure wrote about them a lot.  Bavol can stay; I'll just have to make up some way that I met him.  Same for Tot… and cut any mention of Scherient.  Oh… better come up with a different reason for Tot's… problems… maybe a car accident.  I should take out or change Omi's name… to protect the innocent… LOL  I just don't want any more shit to come down on him cause of me.  I can keep in his being gone, but I'll come up with a different reason, or I'll wait for Omi to get here and we can make up stuff together.

Day 4: Oh, no… do I BS my way through this entire assignment?… or admit that I'm gay and hope the teacher doesn't show this to anyone else?…  I don't know what to do.  Maybe I can figure out a way to word it that's gender neutral… This is soooo unfair.  If I didn't have such narrow-minded classmates...  

Day 5: Oh Hell!  This is the day Schu kept stealing my notebook.  He had way too much fun with that.  I guess I add this one to the rewrite pile, there is NO WAY IN HELL I can turn THIS one in…  -_-;

Day 6: Okay, this one isn't too bad, just cut out that little bit about hacking… they kinda frown on that.  Another Esset reference… way too many of these already.  Whoa!!!!  Take OUT that bit about Brad's gun… those are sort of ILLEGAL here!  Probably want to take out the reference to that bomb also… Maybe this one WAS as bad as the others.

Day 7: Mentioned my powers again…  Little cleanup… Should take out the 'Principal Dickhead' part.  (even if it is true)  

Day 8: Name removal again… but I guess I'll have to leave in the fact I'm gay, it would take too long to rewrite everything.  Besides… I think everyone knows by now, after that sex ed episode…  Probably should take out what happened to Omi in Kyoto… I don't think they really want to read about him strung up on Youji's wires and bleeding like a stuck pig (even if it was fake… more or less)  I think the rest can stand… mostly.

Day 9: More Esset?!  Eeech… gotta take out the team dynamics… no one would understand.  I think I'll leave the rest as is… maybe she'll be more sympathetic to me… or she'll think I'm a freak, if she doesn't already.

Day 10: Oh yeah… the making out in the back of the theatre HAS to go.  Omi's here now and he's giving me that pouty 'oh but I like it' look.  I'll let him keep a copy… 

Day 11: Shit… here's one of those ones I have to totally redo…  Who the Hell cares what I would serve the Prime Minister if he came to lunch?!  Maybe I'll get Omi to write this one for me…

Day 12: Grrrr…. I just had to write sooooooo much about being an assassin…  Ah Hell… I might as well do this one again… after I take out everything that has to go there won't be anything left.

Day 13: Well… this whole embarrassing incident is public record anyway…  Yuuto is STILL being an ass.

Day 14: Again… public record… unfortunately.  You really should be able to 'test out' of Sex Ed. (not THAT way you hentai!)

Day 15:  Not bad… as long as I cut all of Schu's… assistance.

Day 16: All right… remove Esset and Omi and this one should be fine.  Not that I want to remember Farf's sink… eeew!

Day 17:  Good… couple things but not bad.

Day 18: Schwarz references again… and we've been changing Omi's name to Yuki.  Why?  We like it.  There are a lot of characters named Yuki (or some variation) in animé.  Besides… it was the only one we could agree upon.

Day 19: Way too many mentions of Weiss… I suppose we should change the guys' names too… or at least use Omi's nicknames for them… then again… I don't want the nicknames to get me in trouble…

Day 20:  Wonderful… didn't even attempt the assignment… and I have no idea what it was supposed to be.  I suppose I can leave what I have… as long as the Schwarz stuff is removed.  I hope Ms. Psycho Bitch remembers I was sick and didn't really get the assignment.

Day 21: Oh shit… I talked a lot about Schu and his powers.  Well… since I was sick I suppose I can just ignore this whole assignment.  I mean… I was WAAAAAY to ill to write that day.  Yeah… that sounds good.

Day 22: Damn… that stupid favorite color assignment.  She knows I got this one… I really did a half-ass job with this… guess I better BS my way through this rewrite too…

Day 23: Today… not really an assignment… only the steps to preserve my life.  I hope hope hope we didn't miss anything.  You know… this will be the first time Brad could have read this… thing.  I hope we're done with these… but somehow I'm sure we're not.  No, I can't suddenly see the future… I just know my luck.  –Nagi

Author's Note: No… this isn't the end of Nagi's Journal… at least I don't think so.  But it IS going to the back burner for a while.  The muse got inspired the other day and now she keeps whispering in my ear… 'You want to write another songfic series… you want to write…'  Annoying imp.  But me going to write this series means that the Journal will most likely not be updated as often, maybe once a week.  We'll have to see.  This songfic series will star our most kawaii bishounen so don't think you'll have to go without your Omi and Nagi fix.  Anyways, thanks for all the wonderful support for the Journal, it means a lot to me.  'Now Muse… where were those lyrics again…'  -Yanagi


	24. Day 24: After the End of the World (aka ...

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm doing, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, angst, dirty language, maybe violence.  I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 24: After the End of the World (aka grades…)

*sigh*  I just can't win.  Got my journal back… C.  A fucking 'C'.  I've never received a 'C' before in my entire school career.  The Psycho Bitch from Hell said my journal lacked a personal voice.  That I didn't fully complete many of the assignments, that while my spelling, vocabulary, and grammar were excellent… there was no spirit to the work.  And the kicker… it's obvious I did not take this project seriously and devote the proper time and attention to it!

Can you believe it?!  The only reason I got that damn 'C' is cause of everything I had to fucking take out of the original! Arrrrrgh!  It's not fair!  So now I stuck doing this damn journal for another two weeks to see if I can 'find my personal voice'.  I have a personal voice, thank you very much.  It's called cynical, apathetic teenager!  At least, that's what I try to portray.

What am I going to do?  Brad's gonna want to see my grades as soon as he gets home.  He gets pissed over 'B's… what the Hell is he going to do to me for a 'C'?  Even if it isn't my fault.  How can I keep this journal and make everybody happy?  If I tell the truth… Brad will shoot me.  If I don't… Ms. Bitch will get on my back again.  *groan*  I'm getting a headache.

No, really a big one.  Fuck!  Just what I DON'T need right now, a damn stress headache.  At least it isn't a migraine… yet, wouldn't surprise me; Murphy seems to be my close personal friend today.  Farf's off on one of his 'I'm gonna hurt God' kicks again.  In other words… sanity is NOT in the building.  Schu doesn't understand how much that 'C' bothers me.  He just said, 'Well kid (I hate that), win some lose some.'  Yeah, I'm gonna lose some skin when Brad gets home.  At least Omi was sympathetic.  He should be, he helped me edit the damn thing!  He knows how much I had to just cut.  But he can't come see me; he has to work the afternoon-evening shift today.

My life really sucks!  School sucks!  My family sucks!  My 'job' sucks!  My love life… is actually pretty good right now.  Provided I'm not grounded from now till I'm 80 for this stupid assignment!  Just when everything was looking up… WHAM!  Beat the boy back down again.  

Goody… I just heard Brad come in.  Schu's talking to him… shit!  That asshole.  He told Brad I got my grades and was sulking in my room.  SULKING?!  I'll figure out a way to get you back, Slut!  And that would be Brad at the door…

Okay, I'm still alive.  Brad wasn't happy, but he understood.  At least he RESPECTS my right to privacy and didn't ask to see it.  You know, I never thought of it before… but he really does respect my privacy.  Unless I'm endangering myself or Schwarz.  Hmm… that's more consideration than he gives Schu and certainly Farf.  All I have to do now is figure out a way to survive the next two weeks of journal writing without crucifying myself…

I want a new life.    -Nagi


	25. Day 25: I Hate Being Called 'Kid' (AKA S...

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm doing, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, angst, dirty language, maybe violence.  I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 25: I Hate Being Called, 'Kid' (AKA Schu's fav. Entertainment)

Two more weeks of this crap, huh?  You want 'personal voice'?  I'll give you 'personal voice'.  I'm voicing my irritation at my 'brother' Schuldich for calling me 'kid'.  And not just 'kid', but also 'chibi', 'brat', 'child', and any others I think of along the way.

Why, you may ask, does he feel this nearly obsessive need to torment me in this manner?  I don't know.  Simple as that.  I've asked him to stop.  I've begged him to stop.  I've tried bribery, beating him, blackmail… nothing works.  Bastard!  I think it is his favorite form of entertainment.  Tease Nagi!

Why does it bother me so much when he calls me kid?  Probably cause I'm not.  I know, most teenagers say that but for me it's really true.  I had to cease being a 'kid' at about the time I ended up on the streets.  I couldn't afford the luxury of being a 'kid'.  I had to survive.  I really didn't have much of a childhood.  But since I've never really known anything different, I don't usually miss what I never had.  It would have been nice to have had a family.  A home.  Caring parents.  But I'm not going to dwell on what 'might have been'.  I've got enough trouble here and now.

Back to Schu-schu and his tendency to make my blood boil.  Like that whole deal with him stealing my journal.  He knew how much it bothered me.  He knew what was in there that I didn't want other people to see.  He knew my door was LOCKED!!!  And he still did it!  *sigh*  Maybe this is what it's like to have an older brother.  An ancient, decrepit, crotchety older brother.

And yes… I know HE'LL know I wrote that.  It's the only way to get him back, at his own game.  It's a good thing Brad doesn't know about half the stuff that goes on around here.  We'd be soooo screwed!

Anyways… back to my main point.  And yes, there is a point.  The point is… I HAVE A NAME, Schuldich!  Use it!  The occasional 'kid' or 'chibi', I can deal with.  It's the constant and never ending use of said nicknames that drive me nuts.  My name isn't long.  It isn't even difficult to pronounce (unlike YOURS… I mean, come one… Japanese doesn't even USE the 'l' sound!).  Let's try it together Schu… na… gi… nagi…  I'm sure you can figure this one out….  You're not a total retard!  

Notice I said TOTAL… *snickers*  Oh yeah… I'm dead.  But I'll go out enjoying it.  If he didn't want to use my name, he could always use my old Esset codename, 'Prodigy'.  I don't mind that too much.  It was about the best out of the lot, although Brad's 'Oracle' wasn't bad.  But the other two… LOL.  'Mastermind'… sounds like a cheesy comic book villain.  And 'Berserker'?  Come on!  He only acted like that cause those MORONS at the training facility didn't know how to handle him.  

Anyway… Schu-schu should be back soon.  He's running errands for Brad today… can we say SLAVE!!!!  LOL  I think I'll leave this where he's sure to find it.  He won't be able to resist reading it, cause he's so nosey.  But he also won't be able to do anything about it cause he promised he wouldn't read it anymore…  I know he's still reading it (you hear that Schuldich?!) but he can't do anything about it or I'll know he lied.  I love being in a position of absolute power.  ^__^ 

I'm in soooooo much trouble.  ^__^  Oh well… he deserves it.   -Nagi


	26. Day 26: Weird Dreams (no more pizza befo...

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm doing, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, angst, dirty language, maybe violence.  I CAN promise no character death, that's it.

Day 26: Weird Dreams (no more pizza before bed…)

Okay… last night I had the weirdest dream ever in the history of the world!  That's it… no more pizza after 9 o'clock… at least if Schu picks the toppings!  It was just soooooo bizarre, I don't know that I can truly explain it.  But, I'll try.

Okay.  First of all, Brad is American; I know I've written that before.  But he really doesn't celebrate any of their holidays.  But in my dream, Schu got the brilliant idea that we needed to have a Thanksgiving dinner.  Schu always comes up with the weirdest ideas… I wonder about him sometimes.  Anyway, for some obscure reason, we all thought it was a good idea.  

First challenge… find the food.  Turkey, while traditional in America, isn't really something we have around the house, especially not the whole bird like Schu wanted.  Then he wanted me to find cranberries (I don't even know what those are), sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie filling, and a whole mess of other stuff I can't remember now.  Suffice to say the list was extensive.  So I go out and I look, and I look, and I look, and it's turning into one of those dreams that lasts forever, and I finally find everything and haul it all back home.  

I walk in to find Schu, in a frilly pink apron, making piecrusts and humming.  Yes… humming.  *shudder*  Thank the gods he wasn't actually singing!  Schu CAN'T sing.  So anyway, I manage to unload everything before I get to start cutting bread for the stuffing.  Stuffing?  Meanwhile… Farf is removing some package of I-don't-know-what from the carcass and washing the thing.  I guess he's in charge of the bird.  Schu is continuing with the pies.  Brad?  I have no idea where he was.

After I'm done with the bread… I get to mash the potatoes, white ones, not the sweet ones, although I'm sure I'll get to them eventually.  So I mash this mountain of potatoes, I assume Farf peeled and cut them up, anything that has to do with knives…  I get done with that and watch as Farf proceeds to stuff a plastic bag into the bird and then shove all the stuffing inside the bag, which is inside the bird.  Weird.  Oh, I forgot… Farf's apron is black with red lettering that says, "Kill the Cook". 

He puts the turkey in the oven and then proceeds on to other obscure American dishes that apparently are supposed to go WITH the fowl.  I get sent into the dining room (we don't even HAVE a dining room) to set the table.  There is this huge, long table in there and Schu tells me to set places for 18 people.  EIGHTEEN?!!  Who the HELL is coming to this thing anyways?  Of course, I got no answer, so I open this cabinet at one end of the room (which doesn't actually exist) and start pulling out dishes and silverware and glasses.  It only takes me oh, I don't know, FOREVER to set the table.  Then Schu's harping on me to go get showered and ready cause everyone's coming soon.  I still don't know WHO'S coming but no one seems willing to enlighten me!

So I get all ready, semi-dressy clothes, the whole bit.  And go back out to find everyone is starting to sit down.  Schu nabs me and hands me a platter to take to the table.  I'm busy running back and forth for about five minutes, I don't even get a chance to see who's there.  Finally the food's on and I can sit down.  While Farf carves the bird (did you think anyone else would get the chance?) I look around the table.  This is where it starts to get REALLY weird.

Okay, Brad is at the head of the table, of course, with Schu to one side of him, and Youji to the other… okaaaay.  Next to Youji is Neu from Scherient, then Schoen and Hel.  Next to Hel is Masafumi, of course.  Then Hirofumi, Persia, and Manx?!  On the end is Farf, carving the bird.  Then up this side, is Birman, whom I've never even met, but I've seen her picture, and Takatori (can we say squick!).  Next to Takatori, like a disaster waiting to happen is Ran, then Ken.  Next to Ken on my right is Tot, to my left, Omi and then Schu.

Okay!  Apparently my subconscious decided to make everyone sit next to or across from their most hated enemy or someone they have a connection to.  And then, everyone starts handing food around and talking like there is nothing weird about this whole thing.

It gets worse.

About midway through the meal, Ran and Takatori start arguing and leave the table.  Ran comes in from the balcony a few moments later with a bloody katana, no Takatori.  I'm not too upset; the man gave me the creeps anyways.  I can tell Schu and Youji are playing 'footsie' under the table; I don't want to know where their feet are going.  Hirofumi starts flirting with Birman, who's slid over into Takatori's vacant seat, and Manx and Persia are obviously making eyes at each other.  

By the time the dessert starts around… Youji and Schu have disappeared.  Ran and Ken are holding hands under the table.  Masa and three of the Scherient girls are making out on the balcony, and Tot and Omi are arguing over my head as to who is better for me.  Meanwhile, Brad and Farf are sitting at their respective ends as if NOTHING is going on.  The evening went downhill from there.  I can't even remember what else happened.  But I do remember that I kept checking rooms, I think I was looking for mine, and I kept finding people in bed…  In one room was Masa and his harem… another had Persia and Manx, then Ran and Ken and Takatori (eeeewwwwww!!!!!!), then the next one was Farf… alone… I think… I hope…, then Schu, Youji, and BRAD?!  I shut the door really quick on that one… Then they kept changing…  Ken with Birman… Ran with Brad… Farf with… I just kept running but I couldn't find Omi… 

Finally I woke up.  I'm not sure if it was a dream or a nightmare… some of the things I saw as I opened doors… I wonder if Schu was messing with my head again.  He says he wasn't.  But when I came into the kitchen he started snickering.  I bet he did it.  He probably got all set up with his popcorn and beer and had a good time in my head last night.  Bastard.  I'll find a way to get him back…  Trust me…  I don't get mad… I get even!   -Nagi


	27. Day 27: ^_^ My Turn (the day Schu took o...

Nagi's Journal  _ **Schu's Journal**_

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm doing, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, angst, dirty language, maybe violence.  I CAN promise no character death, that's it.

Day 27: ^__^ My Turn… (the day Schu took over)

Well, well, well… it appears the chibi has left his journal out where I can 'borrow' it again.  Tsk tsk… You'd think he'd learn.  He is, by the way, out with that boyfriend of his.  They're so damn cute it's nauseating.  But that Tsukiyono kid makes my Nagi-chan happy so… who am I to complain?  When he's not happy… he's angsting all over the place and generally driving me nuts.  An angsting teenager is harder to block out than a crowded mall at Christmas.  By the way, chibi, (I know you're going to read this ^__^) I know what Brad's giving you! *sing song voice*  And no… I'm not gonna tell.  Yeah, yeah, I know I'm evil… what else is new?

Which reminds me… I left a list of what **I** would like Santa to bring me on the fridge.  Feel free to get any of the items.  Oh, technically I suppose you have to be an adult to purchase many of them, but I'm confident you can find a way around that little problem, you always do.  

Let's see what you've written lately…  Interesting dream there, chibi… And you think **I** had something to do with it?  I'm hurt.  No I'm not.  As to whether I AM responsible or not… I'm not saying anything one way or the other, it's more fun to watch you squirm.  And you think you're going to get ME back?  *collapses in laughter*  Puleeze?  Age and treachery always overcomes youth and strength.  You're going to out maneuver the 'Mastermind'?  LOL  As you can tell, I'm quaking in fear waiting for your revenge… not.

Let's go back a few more pages here… awe… poor kid… hates being called that.  Mental note… call Nagi by 'kid' or 'chibi' as much as possible.  And yes… except for taunting Weiss, teasing you IS my favorite form of entertainment.  What else am I going to do when Braddy-boy puts us in lockdown?  Watch Bradley being a prick?  Carry on a stimulating conversation about knives with Farfie?  *sigh*  Not my idea of fun.  But you… you're no end of entertainment.  Even when I'm not bugging you chibi.  Honestly, you're the only decent company in this place half the time.  Pardon me while I gag at this warm, fuzzy feeling…

By the way… 'An ancient, decrepit, crotchety older brother.'  I'll have you know… I am in my prime!  I am not ancient (like Braddy), or decrepit (people tell me I'm QUITE flexible), and I'm defiantly NOT crotchety!  Except maybe first thing in the morning before I get my coffee… BUT THAT DOESN'T COUNT!  I'll have you know, I am manipulative, and sly, and I do care about you dammit!  There!  Are you happy you little bastard?  I admit that I care about you.  *sigh*  KIDS!  And yes… we would be screwed if Braddy-boy knew about everything that goes on around here, and NOT in a good way.

And thank you for that acknowledgement of my stunning intellect.  Total retard indeed?!  I know what your name is… I can even pronounce it right.  It's just that your sooooo much fun when you're angry.  ^__^    And I'm NOT Bradley's slave!  I run his damn errands cause if I didn't I'd have to listen to the asshole complain in my head all day.  You've never heard his mental whine… trust me; I'd rather do the errands.  Now, if he wanted me to be his slave in a different way that would be different…

Oh, and I know I promised that I wouldn't read it anymore… ^__^  I lied!

Do you really think I'm going to give up on such a great source of gossip?  Not likely.  Well, I guess that's enough.  You're already gonna get an aneurysm when you find out I wrote in here.  How did your 'date' go?  Where did he take you?  Have you screwed him yet?  If you need anything (supplies, handy tips, etc) you know where to find me.  I think I can already hear your mental screams… music to my mind… Hope you had a good time, chibi.  ;P   -Schu


	28. Day 28: ARGH!!! (one of these days...)

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm doing, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, angst, dirty language, maybe violence.  I CAN promise no character death, that's it.

Day 28: ARGH!!! (one of these days…)

One of these days… I'm just going to kill him.  Brad will get up to find that damn German bastard DEAD on the floor, with me dancing over his mangled corpse.  I'm so fed up of him lying to me!  He promised he wasn't going to write in the journal anymore.  I knew he'd read it… even locked up I knew it was a lost cause, but he promised not to write anymore.  *sigh*  I'm tired of it.

Nothing ever seems to go right for me.  I FINALLY had a good day with Omi, and I come home to find my journal has an entry I didn't even do.  Dammit, Schu!  I'm having enough trouble with this teacher; I don't need your help!  I hate school.  Damn midterms are starting too.  And we've been so busy I haven't had any time to study.  I have three tests tomorrow… I'll be up all night at this rate.  And I have a 10-page paper due next week that I had intended to do last weekend until Brad dragged us all to Kyoto for that 'job'.

I don't know when I'm going to get everything done?  He wants those computer upgrades finished by next weekend.  Farf's mind is out on holiday, which means I have to cook if we want anything remotely edible.  Brad never does any of the housework; Schu skips out as quickly as HE can.  I think I'm going to cry.

I almost fell asleep in the bathtub last night… I'm just so tired.  The stress is really starting to get to me.  That's why I went with Omi yesterday instead of staying home and doing some of this mountain of work… I needed the stress relief.  I think he's getting worried about me.  He asked if I was okay every 10 minutes it seemed.  I'm fine… or I would be if there were about 5 more hours in the day… then I could get stuff done and actually get some sleep too.  

"To sleep… perchance to dream…" How I wish it could be so.  *sigh again*  Stupid school, stupid tests, stupid teachers… stupid me.  I should have done that damn paper weeks ago, but NO… I have to procrastinate.  I couldn't even get an interesting topic.  They were handed out when I was out sick… so I had to pick through the crappy ones no one else wanted… 'The First Railways and Their Affect on Rural Japan'… come on!  BORING!

It's getting harder and harder to balance school and everything else I have to do.  I know Brad really wants me to do well, let's be honest, he EXPECTS me to do well… and I don't want to disappoint him.  But I can't keep this up.  Yesterday with Omi was the first time in over two weeks that I've had a break.  If I'm not at school, then I've been doing 'other' stuff.  How'd we get so busy all of a sudden anyways?  Half the time I don't even leave the house, but the research for each job can take anywhere from a few hours to a couple days.  And the paperwork… and the accounts… and the filing… by the time I'm totally finished with everything from one job… we're neck deep in the next one.  It's not unusual to have my computer running searches for one while I'm filling out forms for the last.  I jump back and forth between three to five windows all night long.  And somehow I have to squeeze homework in here?

I'm tired… I'm really really tired.  I can't wait till tests are over with and we get a break.  Christmas is coming up… even though they aren't religious; Brad and Schu really like to celebrate it.  And then a week later is Shogatsu, the New Year's festival.  Hopefully (though I know it is a long shot) Brad will decide to suspend operations for the holidays.  I hope so… I really hope so.  I need a break.  Hell… I need some sleep.  Oh well… enough of this… I have three tests to study for and hopefully the computer has come up with some info for my paper.  Do other kids have as hard a time as me?  -Nagi

I'm sooooo glad I'm not a student any more.  Although from watching my friend Shoori… being a full-time teacher isn't a picnic either.  My sympathies to all of you heading into finals and all the teachers who have to grade everything.  -Yanagi


	29. Day 29: Presents (^_^ It's almost Christ...

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm doing, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, angst, dirty language, maybe violence.  I CAN promise no character death, that's it.

Day 29: Presents ( It's almost Christmas!)

Kurisumasu… the ONE day out of the whole year when everyone expects me to be a kid.  Brad and Schu absolutely LOVE Christmas.  I mean… Brad unwinds enough to DECORATE!!  We're talking major relaxation for him here.  He plays Christmas music, and sings along… it's actually a little scary.  Now if Schu starts singing too it ceases to be scary and becomes downright torturous!  Brad has forbidden him to sing in earshot of him.  Farf has a better singing voice, course he refuses to have any part of singing carols, cause God likes pretty music.  But he gets all into the gift-giving aspect.  Says commercialism hurts God… go figure.

Okay, so we have Brad and Schu trying to decorate the living room… and getting into an argument over how 'straight' the lights have to be.  Mister 'Anal-Retentive' trying to do decorations here.  And Farf's in the kitchen icing the cookies… he made angels… he's busy making them in to 'biker angels from hell'…  oh yes… we're normal… sure we are… .

Everyone's gifts are wrapped… just waiting for the two decorating gurus to finish so I can put them out.  I know Schu's are wrapped… or mostly wrapped cause he managed to bribe me into do that for him.  *sigh*  Why do I let him do that to me?  Anyway, I got Brad a new holster.  It's supposed to be more comfortable than the one he's using now and yet still unobtrusive.  For Schu I got a fully illustrated copy of the Kama Sutra.  It was on his 'list'.  I KNOW he never thought I would actually get something like that for him.  LOL  I can't wait to see Brad's face when Schu opens that package.  *evil grin*  For Farf… Farfie is hard to buy for.  I mean, if it's a knife he's more than happy, but that gets old after a while.  So, I finally settled on a new pair of slippers, fuzzy bunny ones with floppy ears.  He likes them… don't ask… I don't know.

I even have Omi's gifts all ready… I'm seeing him later tonight.  I can't wait for him to unwrap one of his gifts.  It's a picture I drew, specially for him.  I've been working on it for weeks.  I went down to our meeting place in the park and took a picture.  I drew it, our bench looking out at the water at sunset.  I hope he likes it.  I worked really hard on it.  I also got him a pendant… I know he doesn't usually wear jewelry, except for his earring, but I hope he wears this.  It's really simple, silver disk, with the kanji for 'love' inscribed on it.  It's sappy but I can't help it.  I love him.  Well… it's time for me to go meet Omi.  We're having an early dinner I'm not sure what else, he says it's a surprise.

Okay… I just got home… tried to sneak in really quiet since I was out WAY past curfew.  Curfew?  What a joke.  I mean, come on Brad… YOU keep me out way later than this… but…  Did I get in?  Of course not.  Brad was waiting for me in the living room.  *sigh*  I can't win.

I got off pretty easy though.  Just a slight glare and a reminder to CALL if I'm going to be late.  He's being charitable, must be the Christmas spirit.  Yeah, I couldn't write that without laughing either.  Anyways… I'm too hyper to go to sleep yet.  I saw the pile of presents as I came in… and my stocking.  Seems a silly custom, hanging up a sock and stuffing candy and small gifts in it, but they do it, every year.  The logic of it escapes me I guess.  Anyway… back to Omi.

He took me back to his place.  Apparently the other guys were all out for the evening, he wouldn't say what they were doing.  He had dinner delivered from that really good Chinese place down the street.  When we were done we exchanged gifts.  Miki must have had fun with us.  I had asked her what to get Omi and she suggested the pendant.  Apparently Omi asked her the same question, to which she gave the same answer.  So now we have matching pendants, kinda sweet actually.  

Speaking of sweet… for dessert he had strawberries and chocolate and some whipped cream.  We fed them to each other and then made out for a while.  I'm not giving any details cause I don't want to give Schu any more blackmail material than he already has.  But to answer his burning question BEFORE he hounds me… NO… we have not had sex yet.  So stop bugging me!

I can't wait for tomorrow.  I love presents.  I never really got them as a kid.  So Brad and Schu try to make up for it now.  Now Brad is yelling at me to go to sleep.  Sleep?  I can't sleep.  How can he expect me to sleep when tomorrow is Christmas?  Well… technically it is already Christmas but you know what I mean!  *sigh*  I'll climb into bed and pretend to sleep I guess.  It's only a few more hours till I can open my presents!  -Nagi


	30. Day 30: Christmas, Christmas time is her...

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm doing, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, angst, dirty language, maybe violence.  I CAN promise no character death, that's it.

Day 30: Christmas, Christmas time is here… (or… gimme the loot!)

Yeah!  Christmas is finally here… or rather it was.  Not surprising (since I was awake most of the night anyways) I was up early.  Or as Schu put rather testily, 'up at the butt-crack of dawn'.  Me?  ^__^  So I was up early and went in to light the tree, start the coffee, ogle the presents… you know, usual kid stuff.  Schu is complaining, rather loudly, in my head; guess my enthusiasm woke him up.  Farf joined me in the kitchen fairly soon afterwards, he says early mornings hurt God.  Huh?  I guess cause they annoy people and it leaves plenty of time for sinning.  I don't know.

Brad's an early riser anyways, 6:30 is sleeping in for him, and so he was the next to join our little party waiting for the coffee machine.  When it was done I poured three cups and left the rest to stay warm for Schu, and carried them to the table.  Farf had already set out the various additives to make the bitter brew drinkable.  Black coffee drinker I am NOT.  Cream and sugar and preferably something to flavor it.  Schu makes fun of me… asks me if I want coffee with my cream.  Screw him… he drinks it the same way, well, maybe not quite so much cream, Brad's the only one who likes it black.  Even Farf puts something in… usually sugar… says sweet things encourage gluttony… which of course is a sin.

So I sit down and doctor my brew… Brad's glaring at me behind his glasses.  He doesn't approve of me drinking coffee, says it will stunt my growth.  My growth was stunted looooong before now, thank you very much.  Besides… I didn't want to wait for hot chocolate, the coffee was ready and my hands were cold.  Now the boring part of the morning… waiting for Schu to rise.  Makes him sound like he's undead or something.  I swear, he lurks in bed simply to annoy me… while he whines and moans in our heads…  But Brad finally reached his breaking point.  He turned and yelled for Schu to 'get his German ass out of bed or he (Brad) would come in and do it for him'.  Brad getting you out of bed is the least desirable method of getting up so Schu, very reluctantly, pried his decrepit, aging body out of the warm and comfy confines of his bed and stumbled down the hall.  I of course enjoyed every second of it… was almost a Christmas gift in and of itself.

Ok… so everyone's up… now I get to open my stocking.  Schu and Farf fill it every year so I never quite know what I'm going to get.  There's the usual candy, to which Brad frowns, and miscellaneous small items that the two guys picked up.  Nothing too remarkable this year.  I thought Brad was gonna pop a blood vessel last year when Schu had wrapped a dildo as a joke.  The look on our leaders face was hilarious… the redhead almost ended up flying out the window.  He must have decided to play it safe this year.  

Once my stocking is done we get to do presents.  Brad tried the first year to make us eat breakfast first… that didn't go over well.  I think Farf and Schu complained more than I ever did.  I separate out the gifts and we all dove in… well three of us dove in, Brad very meticulously (anally according to Schu ^_~) unwraps each one, folding the paper carefully…  We don't have that kind of patience.  

Brad, as always, gives the most practical gifts.  This year, it was the software upgrades I've been begging for.  Finally!  Farf… you never know what he's gonna pick.  One year it was a rock he had carefully cleaned and wrapped.  When I asked him why… he said it was pretty.  I still have the rock.  Schu must have taken him shopping cause this year I got several of the anime DVD's I'd asked for.  Now Schu's gifts are just as unpredictable as Farf's.  I'm almost afraid to open it when he's smirking like that.  I couldn't believe it when I found a gift certificate for a weekend at an exclusive resort.  He grinned wider and winked, then spoke in my head.  /Check the number of guests, chibi…/ I looked again, two.  /It's for you and your kitten, have fun./  

I can't believe it.  I get to go spend a weekend, alone, with my boyfriend at a resort.  I guess dreams do come true.  But the best was after we were done.  I went around picking up the discarded paper and as I looked around one last time, I noticed the other three watching me and grinning.  Now Schu grinning isn't unusual.  Farf grinning is a little scarier but not unheard of.  But Brad grinning is downright freaky.  "I believe you have one more gift, Nagi." He said and handed me a gift envelope.  I have to admit; I was a little unnerved by all this.

Inside was a letter saying that I was enrolled in an online college course.  My confusion must have shown on my face cause Brad explained.  "You've been asking for something for a while.  In light of the events these last few months I've decided to honor your request."  I really wasn't positive where he was going with this, but a little ray of hope started to appear.  "I've decided that you can be taught equally as well at home as in that school."

"You mean…" I asked.

"You don't have to return there after the New Year."

This has got to be ONE of the greatest days of my life.  Except for that wonderful date I had with Omi…  But I don't have to go back there!  No more annoying classmates, no more Yuuto, no more Psycho-Bitch-from-Hell!  No more traveling half way across the city twice a day.  No more being up till 3am on a mission and having to get up at 6.

For once… I really like Christmas.  -Nagi


	31. Day 31: The End

Nagi's Journal 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm doing, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, angst, dirty language, maybe violence.  I CAN promise no character death, that's it.

Day 31: The End 

Finally, after what has seemed like months… I'll be done with this damn journal!  It's not that I really minded writing… it's just writing where other people can see it.  Like with Schu… it'll be years before I get to live down some of the things in this little book.  And I admit… I made some mistakes.  There are things you just shouldn't ever commit to paper, and I did.  But I guess all in all… the experience hasn't been too bad.

Tomorrow Brad is taking me to that school one last time.  I'm going to turn in everything I still have so I can get credit for the work I've done… and then we're leaving.  I'll never have to go back there again.  I can't wait.  It's not as if I'm going to miss anyone, classmates or teachers; and I'm sure they won't miss me.  I'm looking forward to that college course Brad signed me up for.  It's just an intro level archeology class, but college!  And he actually picked something I like.  He's going to be in charge of the rest of my education… well him and the others.  Farf is surprisingly good at math, he's already all excited about teaching me calculus.  And Schu… well, let's just say psychology is second nature to him.  Course with him, the lessons will likely involve whoever passes by.  

I'm excited about this.   I'm not stupid enough to think it's going to be all fun.  I know there will be times I will curse this decision, and Brad, but I'm hoping the good will outweigh the bad.  If nothing else, at least now I can sleep.  One thing is bothering me a little though.  Brad has been mentioning a new employer.  From what little he has said, it sounds a lot like another Takatori.  Great, just what we needed.  Brad!  Are you insane?!  Don't saddle us up with another one!  That would put Omi and me on opposing sides again.  I don't like the idea of that at all.  I can't give him up or let him go.  But if Brad forbids me to see him… it's back to sneaking around again.  I don't want to do that, it's just begging for trouble.  And I don't see his teammates being any different.  Arrgh!  It's just not fair.

Maybe I'm borrowing trouble.  I can't help it, I'm a worrier.  And right now I'm worried that I'll have to do a hack job on this assignment again.  I hope it's not as bad as last time.  That took two people all night to get it in shape.  No chance of getting Omi over though.  He's got some Kritiker holiday party to go to (sounds like lots of fun -_-;).  Besides, I don't want Brad to think about Omi and remember we're dating… at least until AFTER our trip to the resort.  Can't wait for that either.

Another thing to gripe about… could Brad possibly turn the heat down any lower?!  I'm freezing here!  I'm wrapped up in a blanket and I still can't stay warm.  Farf brought me in some hot chocolate a while ago, but I drank it all updating the Schwarz files.  I think I need a refill, if for no other reason than to wrap my hands around the mug.  At least Christmas was fun, and Shogatsu is next!  Omi and I already made a date to go down to the coffeehouse and spend the evening with Miki, Yachii, and Kazuya.  Might be our last official 'date' for a while, I'll have to wait and see how things pan out.

I guess this whole journal thing wasn't a complete disaster.  I mean… it has helped me to sort some things out for myself.  I'll probably look back on this time in 20 years (if I live that long) and laugh.  But for now… it's done.  –Nagi

Konnichiwa minna, I have to say, this is the longest thing I've ever written, and it's been a lot of fun.  I hate to disappoint people, but everything must come to an end.  Thanks are in order to a bunch of people.  To Aoe and Shoori, my best friends, that got me into this whole 'anime' thing (don't worry Aoe, I'm planning on some more Schu angst in the future ^_~).  To Miki, Ami-chan, and Yachi on the NagiML… who hounded me mercilessly to write the 'next' part.  To Kiki, Truth, and Amber from the other ML for the same reason.  To Enigma for all the wonderful praise, even though I haven't heard from you in a while (I know you've been busy with the GW fics, but we miss you!).  And finally thanks to all the wonderful readers from the ML's and ff.net, I really do appeciate you taking the time to write to me.  And so, without further ado… sin sin, tis done!*   - Yanagi-sen

*(sin sin –pronounced 'shin', traditional Gaelic storyteller's ending, basically means… that's that)


	32. Epilogue... the 'Resort' fic

Nagi's Journal… the resort fic 

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz songfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Okay… here it is… the promised epilogue to Nagi's Journal.  As always the way too kawaii bishounen don't belong to me… and neither does the song which is "Hero" sung by Enrique Iglesias.

Warnings: SAP probably lots of it, fluff… maybe a little angst, oh and yaoi (duh!)

This fic is dedicated to Enigma… aka E-sama the Llama, as a thank you for writing not only wonderful fics, but also beautiful notes and reviews about mine.  We endlessly praise each other, but I haven't had the opportunity to dedicate a fic to him yet.  Won't he be surprise when he FINALLY gets around to reading it?  (Just kidding E-sama, I know you're busy!  Here's a little gift from the High Priestess of the Cult of the Llama!  ^__^)

"Sugoi!"

Indeed, I have to agree with Omi on this one.  When Schu said it was an 'exclusive resort', I expected something nice, but this… this is way beyond anything I anticipated.  The staff is polite and obviously dedicated to fulfilling their guests every need.  Check in takes no time at all and Omi is pulling me across the beautifully decorated lobby.

"Nagi… let's check out the place."

**_~Would you dance_**

**_if I asked you to dance?~_**

After a massage and a soak in one of the hot spring pools, I am very content to simply relax on the sofa.  Omi is poking around the room, calling out amenities as he comes across them.  I feel a yawn… maybe a nap would be a good idea.  Soft music suddenly fills the air and Omi is smiling from where he stands beside the stereo.  He holds out a hand to me…

"Dance with me?"

**_~Would you run_**

**_and never look back?~_**

"Nagi?"  His breath ghosts along my cheek, it makes me shiver slightly.

"Hai?"

"What would you have done if Crawford had refused to let you see me?"

Suddenly all the tension that I had lost came back with a vengeance.  "W… why do you ask?"

"I just wanted to know.  I mean, if I had asked you to, would you have run away to be with me?  Could you have left Schwarz behind?  I guess I'm trying to see where I fit into your life."

What would I have done?  My mind turns things over as we continue to dance, Omi holding me tight, but giving me time to think.  Could I have left Schwarz behind?  They are my family, or the closest thing I've had.  Could I have even turned against them?  I shudder slightly and hide my face in his neck.  I can already hear him apologizing.  He shouldn't.  He deserves an answer… I just don't know if I can give him one.

**_~Would you cry_**

**_if you saw me cry?~_**

I think back to that night that I broke down in Brad's office.  It was after he and Schu had caught me in the café practically IN Omi's lap.  He went on that trip and then when he got back, he summoned me to his office.  After letting me stew for several hours in my room, sadistic prick.  That has to have been one of the most embarrassing evenings of my life.  I CRIED in front of Brad!  Me!  The one that has trouble even smiling or showing much on any kind of emotion cried on the couch in Crawford's office.  

But I suppose things happen for a reason… I really think it was my tears that convinced Brad that I wasn't doing it to spite him, but that I really loved Omi.  I don't think words would have done it.  I didn't know what to tell him then and I don't know what to tell Omi now.  I love my kitten.  More than I can ever put into words.  Words aren't my strong suit.  Omi knows that.  That's why he's waiting.  He's patient.  And he's kind.  And if this was really bothering me he wouldn't press the issue.

The thing is… I want to give him an answer.  I owe him one.  I mean, he took as many risks as I did beginning this relationship.  We both had to hide it, uncertain how our teams would react.  I think he knows he was in a little more physical danger, since if he decided to Crawford wouldn't have hesitated to kill my blond archer.  Schu either.  Heck, if Omi hurts me in anyway I fully expect Schu and Farf to string him up.  But would I have left them… for him?

A warm hand traces down my cheek, wiping away the tear that I hadn't even noticed falling.

**_~And would you save my soul, tonight?~_**

"You don't have to answer, Nagi.  Cause it didn't come to that."

"But… you have a right to know."

"Shhhh…"  He lightly kissed my cheek.  "I know… you don't have to say anything.  I know."

**_~Would you tremble_**

**_if I touched your lips?~_**

Time has a way of stopping when Omi starts to kiss me.  Actually time ceases to have any meaning.  His lips are warm and soft, almost gentle, yet insistent, burning, leaving me aching for more.  He kisses me and the whole world shrinks to just him… and me.  I can dimly hear the music, smell the light scent of the massage oil on his skin, but touch is the sense that matters most right now.  The feel of his lips on mine, the slight tickling of his eyelashes, the soft feather-feel of his breath, his hands resting on my hips, the thin cotton of our yukata doing little to insulated the burning heat of the other.

It's heaven, here in his arms.  I could die here.  I want to die here, if it means being with him for eternity.

Then this awful growling sound comes from low in his body.  

**_~Would you laugh?_**

**_Oh please tell me this.~_**

He breaks away, laughing uncontrollably.  I'm smiling, that shy smile he knows is my equivalent to his raucous laughter.  

"Well… I guess maybe we should eat first, snog later."  His cerulean eyes are sparkling.

"Snog?  SNOG?  Where did you get THAT from?  You been reading Harry Potter fics again?"

He sidles up to me as I'm pulling on clothing more appropriate to the hotel restaurant than the cotton resort yukata.  "So what if I have?"  His voice is slightly husky and he drops a kiss on my bared neck before pulling clothes of his own out of his suitcase.

"Draco/Harry slash?"

"Of course… is there any other kind?"  He's pulling a comb quickly through his hair.

"You just like the bad bishounen don't you?"

"I love you don't I?"

**_~Now would you die _**

**_for the one you loved?~_**

My mind is still turning over his questions as we make our way to the restaurant.  What would I have done?  Could I have left them… or him?  Could I have turned on my family?  Or on Omi?  Could I have killed him?  Would I have killed myself if I had?  I don't know.

I don't know that I could have really faced down Brad if it had come to that.  But I'm not sure that I could have run away either.  I'm glad it didn't happen.  But I can't help wondering, what if?  What if Brad hadn't given in?  What if Weiss hadn't been understanding?  What if Omi hadn't been willing to risk it with me?  

I shouldn't question him.  I know what he feels.  He tells me.  He lets me know what's going on.  I wish I could do that for him too.  I wish I could tell him how much I love him.  I wish I could tell him about my fears and insecurities.  I'm a very insecure person, I know that.  I know he would understand… but I just can't articulate my feelings.  If you show weakness, that's when the wolves attack.  The streets taught me that.  Esset reinforced it.  Omi contradicts it.

I'm trying… I really am.  Please, Omi… just wait a little longer.

**_~Hold me in your arms, tonight. ~_**

"Oh, this is nice."

This place just keeps getting better and better.  Instead of one of the tables in the busy, but not crowded dining room, we are shown to a small private dining area to the side.  The room, with a traditional chubadai and zabuton, is large enough for 4 or 6 people to dine comfortably.  The sliding wall can be pulled shut for privacy.  All in all, a very pleasant way to eat.

Omi wraps his arm around me as we peer at the menu.  After the waitress comes and takes our order, closing the wall after her, he pulls me fully in to his arms.  I relax into them, it's so nice not to have to worry about being interrupted by family or teammates.

"Comfy?"  He's smiling.

"Very."

**_~I can be your hero, baby._**

**_I can kiss away the pain.~_**

We feed each other the appetizer, assorted maki and nigiri.  There's just something different about the sushi when the person you love is feeding it to you.  He's so careful, not to put on too much wasabi, and that the soy sauce doesn't drip onto my clothes.  When a drop inevitably falls on my lips, instead of using a napkin… he kisses me.  His tongue laps up the spilled sauce and then darts in to dance with my own.  

I'm so tempted to say, screw the rest of dinner and drag him back to our room… but I really haven't eaten much all day and if I don't eat now he's gonna get all mother-hennish on me.  I didn't think anyone could be worse then Schu and Farf in that department.  Then I started going out with Omi.  If possible… Ken is just as bad.  I'm surrounded by them!

**_~I will stand by you forever._**

**_You can take my breath away.~_**

Our meal comes and we take turns feeding rice and delicacies to each other.  Omi just asked them to bring some of the house specialties so we have a variety of things to choose from.  The grilled shake is excellent, but I'll let Omi have the tako.  Then he's holding something up…  I can't tell what it is but he's dipped it in some type of sauce… probably the ginger one.  He's very careful not to tap the chopsticks against my teeth, he's so considerate that way.  I chew thoughtfully… he didn't.  He's smirking.  He did.

Unagi.

"Broiled eel… specialty of the house."  

I reach for the tea but Omi holds up the sake he ordered instead.  "This is will make it taste better."  I don't usually drink sake, but right now, I'll take anything.  Omi holds the small cup to my lips, he's in full pampering mode tonight, the warm sake flows over my tongue, mingling with the taste of the ginger and unagi.  I have to admit, he's right.  But I still don't like unagi.

He's very apologetic.  He was just kidding.  But I really don't like eel.  He starts to kiss me, trying to make up for the trick.

He takes my breath away… as usual.

**_~Would you swear_**

**_that you'll always be mine?~_**

He pulls back and I rest my head on his shoulder.  He always does that.  Leave me gasping and weak and generally happy to be with him.

"Nagi… can I ask you something?"

I nod… I really don't want to speak right now.  I'm just content to sit here.  They've taken our dishes away, leaving some tea and more sake.  I'm full, I'm warm, I'm relaxed, I haven't felt this good in… forever.

"Would you… would you accept something from me?"

I sit up so I can see his face.  His eyes are gleaming in the low light.  There is this… hope in them.  And also an uncertainty, like he's afraid of what I might say.  

"Accept something?"

"Well… um, yeah.  I mean.. it's not like a promise or.. well I guess it is a promise, but it doesn't have to be forever right now, I mean I just want you to have it and if you say no I'll understand, but…"

He's flustered… he's so kawaii like this.

"Omi… OMI!"

"Yeah."

"I know what you are saying.  And I would love to accept it."

He smiles… it's like the sun just came back up.  He fumbles in his pocket and pulls out a small pendant on a silk cord.  He holds it up so I can see it.  It's silver of course, he knows I don't like gold, not that I wear any jewelry but we were talking about it one day.  Stamped on the surface is a mountaintop with a single tree jutting up into the sky silhouetted against a full moon.  He must have read the question in my eyes.

"Tsuki, the moon, for Tsukiyono… and 'nagi' the evergreen for you.  Do… do you like it."

Like it?  It's all I can do not to cry.

**_~Or would you lie? _**

**_would you run and hide?~_**

What will Brad say?  Is the first thing that pops into my head.  I think he tolerates this relationship because he sincerely believes it won't last.  Schu knows better, he's told me as much.  He's looked into both our heads… he says we're gonna be together for a long time.  He told me not to throw this away, cause love like we share is rare.  Then he ruffled my hair and called me 'chibi' which I hate, but that's Schu.  

If I accept this… what does it mean?  Omi says it's just a token.  Just a gift.  But is it really?  What will it mean to me a month, a year, ten years from now?  If we live that long.  This isn't just teenage hormones talking here, not for us.  This is much deeper and meaningful.  Can I accept this from him, knowing that someday we may be called upon to try to kill each other?  

He says it isn't forever.  

What if that's what I want it to be?

**_~Am I in too deep?_**

**_Have I lost my mind?~_**

I smile and turn around to let him tie it on.  My hands are shaking too much.  When he's done, he kisses the back of my neck again, making me shiver.  He likes to do that.  The back of my neck is very sensitive.  It's considered a very erotic place on the body, that's why geisha kimono are set back farther to display the nape of the neck.

I flip over the pendant to check the back.  The inscription simply reads, 'ai', love.

He's looking at me expectantly.  I don't know what to say.  I'm lost here.  I'm so overwhelmed.  I never dreamed he would do this.  I hoped he would, but never really thought it would happen.  Not this soon.  What can I do to express what I cannot say?  That I do want this to be forever.  I know we're too young.  But… but he could die next week.  Or I could.  I have to live for now… that's all I can do.  Live for now.

My eyes fall on the warm sake sitting on the table.

**_~I don't care... _**

**_You're here tonight. ~_**

My hands are still shaking slightly as I pour the sake into a pair of cups.  I set one in front of him and wait for his reaction.

His cerulean eyes grow wide… a shimmer of his own tears glisten in the dimness.  He smiles and nods.  His hands are poised on the edges of his cup, waiting for me.

Our motions are synchronous as we lift our cups and take nine sips, careful to drink at exactly the same times, not breaking eye contact.  We finish and set the cups down in the same manner.  

**_~I can be your hero, baby._**

**_I can kiss away the pain.~_**

"Let's go back to the room… where I can really show you how beautiful you are."

He helps me up, ignoring my blush and leads the way out.  We pause to put our slippers back on outside the dining alcove and then head out.  I don't even see the other diners, the waitresses, the maitre de.  My eyes are locked on the back his hand as it clutches mine.

He's so strong.  I don't even think he really notices it.  He's trained with a bow for a very long time.  That builds a type of upper body strength that is deceptive.  He's tried to teach me, taking me to a shooting range.  Even with bows of the lightest pull, I tire easily.  He's shooting one that's a lot harder than mine, and doing it with ease.  I've even watched him with the traditional Japanese bow.  Kyudo is an amazing art form, maybe not practical for our type of 'night work', but it's excellent training.  Omi is wonderful at it, of course.  He's probably wonderful at any type of aimed projectile.  I bet he'd be good with a gun, if he'd consider using one.

His hands… so strong… and yet so gentle.  He catches me watching them and lifts our hands to kiss the backs of my knuckles.

**_~I will stand by you forever._**

**_You can take my breath away.~_**

Anything.  That's my answer.  I would to anything for him.  To be with him.  To be a part of him.  To share a life with him.  

Others may think we are too young to know what we want.  That may be true.  But when you've lived through as much as we have… it ages you.  Some days I feel so old.  Most people never experience what we have.  Most people wouldn't want to.  I didn't want to.  But I did.  He did.  We do.  So I would like to think since we are old enough to be asked to kill… that we are old enough to be allowed to live.

We choose to live together.

We might not be allowed to physically live to together for a while yet.  But someday.  For now, we are together in spirit.

That will be enough.

**_~Oh, I just want to hold you._**

**_I just want to hold you.~_**

I've barely kicked off my slippers when Omi has me pinned against the wall.  He knows I love it when he's like this.  All forceful and aggressive.  You wouldn't think I would enjoy it, considering my history.  But I do.  Maybe I'm just naturally submissive.  Maybe that's why Brad got so worried.  Maybe I thinking too damn much.

Oooh… remember that upper body strength I love so much.  I know I don't weigh a lot… but it still surprises me when he picks me up.  And he's carrying me to the bed.  Now I could get used to this.  Schu carries me sometimes when I overreach myself on a mission, even Brad and Farf have done it occasionally.  But this is much nicer.  He kneels on the bed and lowers me down so softly.  I pull him down too, for now I just want him to hold me.

**_~Am I in too deep? _**

**_Have I lost my mind?~_**

It's too much… all of a sudden.  I'm not used to affection like this.  Schwarz is not demonstrative with  emotions like this.  The most I've ever gotten is the occasional hug from Schu or a quick squeeze from Brad.  Farf usually brings food.  To have someone so… wanting to TOUCH me.

"Kirei."

One word… one word and the dam breaks and tears start to stream.  Kirei… beautiful… but not just beautiful, a clean and pure type of beautiful.  I haven't been pure since my father murdered my mother when I was four.  I haven't been clean since I first killed for Esset when I was eleven.  I know people think I'm pretty… Schu calls me 'bishounen' all the time.  But to see how Omi looks at me.  To hear it from his mouth.  It's overwhelming.

**_~I don't care..._**

**_You're here tonight.~_**

Omi kisses away the couple tears that fell… I don't allow more than that.  And starts to remove my clothing, in between kisses and teasing nips and soft words.  He reassures me that we'll only go as far as I want.  Is he crazy… how often do we get uninterrupted, unsupervised time together?  I want everything.  I want him.

"I want you."

He stops and looks into my eyes.  "You're sure?  I mean, we can do other things.  We don't have to go all the way tonight.  I can wait."

"But I don't know if I can."

He licks his lips… suddenly nervous.  "Okay.  If that's what you want…"  He grins… that grin that means he thinking something naughty.  "Top or bottom?"

**_~I can be your hero, baby._**

**_I can kiss away the pain. ~_**

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"  Omi's practically crying, afraid to move and hurt me more.

And it does hurt, even with the lube.  It hurts a lot.  But I knew it would.  Schu explained all this… in embarrassing detail, several years ago.  

"It will fade, Omiitchi… It'll be okay."

"Do you want me to stop?"

I'm thinking about it.  It really did hurt.  But Schu had said that if you could get past that it was wonderful, if your partner was gentle and started slow.  I can't think of anyone who would be gentler than Omi.

"Just start slow, love.  Kiss me again, onegai?"

**_~I will stand by your forever._**

**_You can take my breath away.~_**

Oh my god… oh my god… Omigod!  I didn't know anything could feel this good.  It's like I'm floating, but I can still feel the bed under my back.  I can feel the sweat on my skin and Omi's too as my hands slide along his back.  His hands are under my shoulder blades, his face buried in my hair.  Once in a while he presses a quick kiss to my neck.  We're both moaning and panting.  The friction of his body along mine, trapping my member between our stomachs, stroking it with each of his thrusts into my body, his hardness deep inside me hitting something over and over…

And then the world breaks into a million glittering pieces.

I think I must have cried out, though I have no memory of it.  My whole body goes taut… like one of Omi's bowstrings.  I start to shudder and thrust back wildly.  

Omi cries out into my hair and pulls me closer if that's even possible.  I feel him shove in as deep as he can, his body tightening, even as a warm wetness explodes between us.  I can feel that same wetness flowing inside me now.  I'm hyper sensitive to every touch, every sensation, I swear I can feel the very molecules of air against my skin.  With my powers linked to my emotions… who knows, maybe I can.  

I can't see, or hear, or smell, or taste anything right at this moment.  Only feel.  And it feels wonderful.

**_~I can be your hero._**

**_I can kiss away the pain.~_**

Gradually… the other senses return.  I am aware of other things, the slight breeze coming in the window, cooling the sweat on my skin, even as Omi warms other parts of me.  I see how the moonlight on the water outside is reflected on the ceiling, dancing.  I can smell the light scent of Omi's strawberry shampoo, and the slightly heavier scent of the massage oil from earlier, and the more musky smell that I realize is from sex.  I can hear him panting in my ear, trying to recover breath and realize I'm doing the same thing.

He lifts himself off me a bit so he can look down into my face.  Supporting himself on one arm, his free hand traces the tear trails down my face, wiping them away.  "Kirei."  He says again, and kisses me so gently.  He is so gentle.

He pulls out, and I wince slightly.  He starts to apologize and I shut him up by kissing him again.  He glances around.  

"I think we need something to clean up with."

He watches me as my eyes narrow.  A washcloth drops beside us on the bed, good thing it was in my line of sight… it's really hard to 'fetch' things that aren't.  He smiles and uses it to clean me up, then himself and then drops the cloth over the side of the bed.  I really can't move to help him.  He laughs and rolls me on my side, cuddling up behind me.  He drops another kiss on my shoulder, then buries his face again in my hair.  I use my gift to pull the blanket up from the bottom of the bed.  We had almost managed to totally kick it off.

**_~And I will stand by you forever._**

**_You can take my breath away.~_**

"I love you, Nagi."  He whispers in my ear.  I smile in the dark.  It's wide grin, too bad he can't see it.

"I love you too."

He pulls me a little closer.  I can barely keep my eyes open.  "Go to sleep, love.  I'll be here."

So I do.

**_~You can take my breath away.~_**

Omi watches as Nagi falls asleep.  I'll be here, Nagi-chan.  I promise.

**_~I can be your hero.~_**

Owari.

There… the long awaited, much anticipated, hassled for, epilogue to Nagi's Journal.  I hope everyone enjoyed.  I did a marathon writing session… I've been on my computer since about 6 this morning… it's now 11:30, and this is all I've done.  I haven't even checked my email yet!  But I'm happy with it.  A few notes and things of note, the boys are visiting a resort in Atami, about 100 km from Tokyo.  The website I was looking at called it the 'Naples of Japan' and said it was popular for honeymoons and lovers in general.  *wink wink*  ^__^  About the Harry Potter fics… not interested in writing any (for now), but I love to read them.  Especially Draco… I just like the bad bishies I guess… Draco, Nagi, Soujiro… kawaii.  

Their dinner: first of all a chubadai is a traditional table, zabuton the floor cushions (there is your Japanese language lesson for the day), maki (nori roll sushi), nigiri (sushi without the nori), shake (salmon my fav), tako (octopus), and of course the ever present unagi (eel) which is becoming a standing joke here.  The sake sharing is a Japanese wedding tradition.  Sip 9 times together, the goal is to do everything at the same time because the superstition is that the first one to put their cup down will die first.  

Oh and the pendent… like many Japanese words, 'nagi' can mean several things.  One is calm or lull… another is evergreen tree.  So if you've seen a different meaning, it's not uncommon.  Omi is playing with the meaning of their names a little.  

'Omigod'… this is a standing joke between several of us… started as a deliberate typo by Miki in the chat room…  Yachii wanted me to dedicate the sex scene to her… bet she didn't think I'd actually do it!  ^_~  And the strawberry shampoo is for Miki who was very upset that I wouldn't write in the strawberry-flavored lube… wait for a PWP.  And finally… again this fic is dedicated to E-sama… hope you liked it!  -Yanagi


	33. The Heart's Cry

**_The Heart's Cry_**

By Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz songfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Song 'The Heart's Cry' is from Riverdance and performed by the group, Anúna.  Characters belong to someone else.  Omi/Nagi fic… sequel to the epilogue to Nagi's Journal.  To commemorate the one-year anniversary of the monster called the Journal!  (although Rosenkreuz is just as bad if not worse by now)  ^___^

Warning: R, yaoi, lemony, sap, fluff, not much of a plot to speak of

Dedication list:  This is going to be extensive so I'm going to stick it at the end.  Wouldn't want to keep you from the fic!  ^_~

**_~Where the river foams and surges to the sea~_**

With a grateful sigh, he lay back.  He could feel the warmth of the sun, radiating up from the sand under the blanket and beating down overhead.  He was shaded by an oversized beach umbrella, but still he could feel the heat coming down from above.  He luxuriated in it.  After the chill of Tokyo's December, including a totally unexpected amount of snow, anywhere with heat that didn't come from electricity or kerosene was very welcome.

He had to talk really fast to get Brad to agree to let him take this trip.  A weekend at a resort was one thing… traveling out of the country was entirely different.  He supposed his selling points, that he was seventeen and Omi nineteen, and they were both technically in college (even though he had started early); well… they probably weren't too convincing.  But he'd succeeded, and now he was on the Hawaiian island of Lanai with Omi, enjoying the sun and surf and seclusion for an entire week.  They were staying in an isolated cove, where a river flowed down and emptied into the sea.  Lanai was also known as the 'Private Island', due to its reputation as a place to find well… privacy.  It had only recently been opened to tourism and wasn't yet as popular a destination as the other more well known islands.

That suited him just fine.  If he wanted clubs and nightlife and dancing till dawn… he could get that in Tokyo.  He just wanted an opportunity to get away.  Away from everything… just for a little while.  To enjoy the sun, and spend some time with his beloved.

**_~Silver figures rise to find me~_**

He rolled over onto his side, just in time to see Omi rise out of the ocean.  He smiled slightly.  Torso bared to the sun, clad only in a tastefully snug pair of Speedos and droplets of seawater; the blond looked like some mer-creature come to the surface for a visit.  Omi caught sight of him, laying in the shade and with a bright smile, came to join him.  He grabbed his towel and rubbed at his hair as he sat down.  Nagi rolled over onto his back.

"Enjoy your swim?"

"Oh yeah, the water's great.  You sure you don't want to come back in?"

"Mmm… maybe later.  Right now I'm just enjoying not moving at all."

Omi laughed.  "I know what you mean.  It's nice not to be running around.  Roll over; I'll give you a back rub."

Nagi complied, pillowing his head on his arms.  He felt Omi straddle his hips, then settle so he was barely resting on the brunette's tailbone.  The lotion was warm from the sun and smelled richly of coconut as the archer spread it around.  He started to knead the muscles of Nagi's back and he groaned with pleasure.

"I may never want to leave if this is the kind of treatment I get."

**_~Wise and as daring / Following the heart's cry~_**

Omi laughed.  "Well… I expect SOMETHING in return."

"Like?"

The blond kissed him lightly on the back of his neck and Nagi shivered.  "Oh… I'm sure I'll think of something."

"Promise?"

Omi didn't respond but leaned into the massage.  "What have you been up to?  Your back is full of knots."

Nagi moaned again.  "I know… I know… It's been driving me crazy.  If we didn't have this vacation I was going to badger Brad about going to a massage therapist or chiropractor or something.  I think I twisted something a month ago… you remember me telling you about that job in Taipei?"

"The one where you got stuck on that really crappy commercial flight on the way back and spent most of your time in the bathroom being sick."

"Ick… don't remind me about that part.  Yeah, THAT one.  Brad and Schu up in First Class and I end up in Economy with Farf… last time I let Schu make the arrangements.  Anyway… when that big guard threw me I think I landed funny, my back hasn't been the same since."

"You should have gotten it looked at before now."

"I know… but when do I have time?  I had finals to get ready for."

"At least you do your classes online… you don't have to GO to them."

"No… I have Brad hovering over my shoulder."

"Good point.  Just relax… If your back is still bothering you in a couple days we'll go see a professional.  There HAS to be a massage therapist over on Maui."

"Aa.  Or Reiki practitioner… heck I'll give crystal healing a shot at this point."

"Hush."  The blond fell quiet as well as his hands worked over Nagi's skin.  The gradual loosening of overtight muscles, combined with the warmth of the sun and the sound of the waves sent the brunette into a comfortable doze.

**_~I am that deep pool / I am that dark spring~_**

Gentle kisses and nips along his hairline brought Nagi back to the here and now.  His breath hitched as he realized Omi was now draped over his back, nibbling at the sensitive skin along his neck.  The blond was also apparently VERY happy to be on top of him.  "mmmm… have I mentioned lately how much I love you?"

"I'm not sure… why don't you say it again to be sure."

Nagi looked back over his shoulder into Omi's eyes.  "I love you."  The blonde's smile widened and he leaned closer to kiss him softly.

"I love you too."

Unable to really do anything, Nagi squirmed until the golden-haired boy got the idea and lifted off of him enough to let him flip over onto his back.  Then he pulled the blond down to lay on him again reveling in the feel of their bare torsos touching.  He ran his hands along Omi's strong shoulders.  "You're so strong…"

The blond cocked his head.  "Why do you say that?"

Nagi lightly squeezed the muscles in his shoulder.  "That's why… you're very strong… all that practice with a bow."

"I guess so… never really thought about it."  He went back to kissing Nagi's neck and down across his collar bone.

"I have… oooh…"  He shivered.

"You're strong too."

"No I'm not."

Omi lifted up and kissed the center of Nagi's forehead.  "Sure you are… in there."  The blond cupped his face and stared into his eyes.  "You have much more strength than you think, my dark one."  His mouth descended, taking Nagi's in a kiss that was less gentle, more passionate.

**_~Warm with a mystery / I may reveal to you~_**

Nagi whimpered a bit, a needy little sound.  Omi was tormenting him, tracing burning paths across his chest with lips and tongue.  He fastened onto one pert nipple and sucked at the sensitive nub of flesh while teasing the other with nimble fingers.  The brunette shifted restlessly rubbing their growing erections against each other through the fabric of their swimsuits.  Omi shifted to the other nipple.  Nagi caressed the smooth planes of his beloved's back, hands going lower with each stroke till they rested on the blonde's hips.  He pulled Omi closer, arching his back to push up against him.

The older teen moaned now.  He kissed his way back up to the pale flesh of Nagi's throat and traced his jaw line till he could take the brunette's mouth again.  The fingers of one hand twined in the soft chocolate hair.

"Omi…" he sighed, panting as their kiss broke.  It was getting too warm; they were both sweating, their slick skin rubbing against each other.

"Oh, Nagi…" he lapped at the sweat collecting in the hollow of the brunette's throat.  "I want to make love to you."

"So what's stopping you?"

**_~In time (Time holds the heart's key)~_**

"Sand.  As romantic as it sounds, the beach is NOT a comfortable place to do this.  Since we have a wonderful, air-conditioned bungalow with a huge, soft bed inside… why don't we go use that?"

"I'm not going to argue."

"Good."  Omi kissed him one last time.  He pushed himself up and stared down at Nagi lying prone beneath him.  "You're so beautiful."  He laughed as the younger boy blushed.  Swinging his leg over, he knelt and put an arm under the brunette's shoulders and knees.

"Don't hurt yourself."  Nagi warned even as Omi lifted him, then heaved himself to his feet, the smaller boy securely in his arms.

"I won't.  All that upper body strength, remember?"  He started for their cabin, nestled in under the shade of towering trees that sheltered the building from the direct sun.  "Besides… you fit so nicely in my arms."

"Flattery will get you everywhere."

"Don't you like me carrying you around?"  He asked as they reached the steps and he set Nagi down, only because he couldn't also manage the shower or the door while carrying him.

"Of course I do, you make me feel safe."  He rinsed his feet in the bucket next to the door and then stripped off his swimsuit and stepped under the showerhead to rinse the sand from his body before going inside.  They had discovered, sand in the bed was a very BAD thing.  He had no sooner dried off then Omi swept him up into his arms again and carried him into the bedroom.  "Eager?"

The blond set him down on the bed then climbed up to join him.  "How can I resist?  Especially since you conveniently took off all your clothes."

One eyebrow lifted and a small smirk danced across Nagi's face.  "Well… are you going to do anything about it?"  

Omi chuckled.  "I think dinner will be late tonight."  He kissed his lover again and his voice dropped.  "VERY late…"

**_~Key to everything is love (Love makes the heart flower)~_**

Nagi's breath hitched at THAT tone in his beloved's voice.  He gasped when Omi resumed tormenting his body.  The blond was thorough, driving him crazy with light touches and lighter nips, yet shying away from where Nagi REALLY wanted attention.  He drew the brunette's arms up, guiding his hands to the edge of the low headboard.  Nagi gripped the edge, understanding that Omi wanted his hands out of the way.  He gave himself over to the teasing, moaning with each fleeting touch.

He ached to be able to touch back… but if he did, Omi would punish him.  The worst punishment possible… the blond would stop.  Omi liked to tease, and Nagi honestly like to BE teased.  But sometimes the blond was simply too good at his torture.

Nagi gasped as without warning, his lover lowered his mouth over his member.  Holding his hips down, Omi lavished the same type of attention to the brunette's shaft that he had to the rest of his body.  He sucked gently, running his tongue lovingly up and down Nagi's erection and around the head.  One hand snaked down and rubbed at the smaller boy's entrance.

Lifting off him for a second, Omi reached under the pillow and pulled out the small tube left there.  He returned to what he'd been doing, one hand fumbling with the lube for a moment before probing with one slicked finger.

**_~Flowers into a deep desire (Passion in the heart's fire)~_**

Nagi moaned loudly as his lover massaged and stretched his entrance, preparing him for a much more intimate intrusion.  He relaxed his muscles as much as he could while Omi did THAT with his mouth.  The feeling was incredible, and yet at the same time he couldn't wait.  As wonderful as those fingers felt, Omi's shaft surging into him felt so much better.  Finally the blond deemed him ready… or else he just couldn't wait anymore.

"Nagi… will you let me take you from behind?"

The brunette smiled.  "Of course."  He rolled over onto his stomach, parting his legs to give Omi room and then wiggled his rear.  "What are you waiting for?"

The blond smirked.  "NOW who's eager?"  But he settled himself between Nagi's legs and guiding himself with one hand, entered his lover with a gentle push.  "Alright?"  
  


"Yeah."  Nagi breathed through the pain, there was always a little, but it faded quickly.  He grunted.  Especially when Omi did that.  Now fully sheathed, the blond lay over him and gave a kiss to one shoulder blade.  He snaked his arms under Nagi's chest.

"I love you."

"Love you too."  Then there were no more words as they communicated in a deeper way.

**_~Passion and desire~_**

Dinner was MUCH later.  Eaten in bed by candlelight, each feeding the other in between sweet kisses.  When they were done, they blew out the light and settled down, nestled in each other arms.  Nagi fell asleep to the sounds of the waves breaking on the shore.

**_~See the eagle rise above the open plain~_**

He woke with the dawn, listening to the sounds of birds for which he had no names.  The bird song and the sound of Omi's quiet breaths beside him, and the soft sounds of the waves.  He closed his eyes again.  He loved it here.  He suddenly had a pressing urge to see the sunrise.  Carefully disentangling himself from his lover, Omi had a tendency to resemble an octopus when asleep; he rolled out of the bed, pulling the sheet back up over the blond.

He pulled on a pair of loose shorts; he wasn't quite the exhibitionist Schu was, wandering around the house naked all the time.  He made his way into the other room, a combination living/dining room that opened right into a small kitchen.  Not that they needed much in the way of room.  Honestly they ate more often on the porch or in bed, and the bedroom was certainly the most used room.  There was also a small bathroom, just a toilet and a shower stall really, but what else did you need with the whole ocean right outside your door.  Padding across the floor on bare feet he made his way to the large windows.

They had gotten lucky and ended up on the southern side of the island and therefore could see both the sunrise and sunset.  He was torn as to which was more beautiful… not that they had seen the sunrise all that often.  They had been there three days… and this was the first on he'd been awake for.

He saw a large bird soaring along the coastline.  He wondered if it might be an io… the Hawaiian hawk.  Well, whatever it was… it was beautiful to watch, gliding through the early morning breeze.

**_~Golden in the morning air~_**

It looked like it was going to be another beautiful day.  They had been blessed so far with perfect weather.  This was the ho'oilo, the winter season, though he certainly couldn't tell.  It was a heck of a lot warmer than Japan, that's all he cared about.  And even if they had a less-than-perfect day… he was sure they could find some way to keep themselves occupied.

The rays of the rising sun painted the surface of the wavelets with streaks of gold.  It was amazing, he wished he had his camera, but was too transfixed to go get it.  He didn't want to forget what the scene looked like.  Maybe he could paint it… but he could never seem to paint water very well.  Especially something as incredible as this.

Nagi contented himself with merely observing.  Sometimes the mind took much better pictures anyways.

**_~Weaving and soaring / Watchful and protecting~_**

He couldn't help but wish Omi was awake to share the dawn with him.  He was loath to wake his lover though.  They both deserved as much rest as they could get on this trip, who knew when they would get another opportunity.  At least his back seemed to be better.  He hadn't wanted to tell Omi how much it had been bothering him.

He just didn't want to worry him.  He knew it wasn't serious, he'd had enough 'serious' injuries to know the difference, just annoying.  And he really would get into see someone if it didn't go away soon, even if it meant telling Brad.  His leader would complain and scold him for not telling him sooner, but he would make an appointment.  Heck, it probably wouldn't even still be bothering him if he didn't spend so much of his time sitting at the computer in what was probably not the best posture.

Omi was so protective of him; it was one of the blonde's most endearing qualities, his protective nature.  That and the way he smiled… and acted like Nagi was the center of his universe.  The brunette hadn't been treasured like that before.  He loved it.  Just like he loved the person Omi was, inside and out.

**_~I am your shelter / I will enfold you~_**

Gazing out at the now risen sun, he was surprised as a pair of warm arms drew him back to an equally warm chest.  Omi hugged him tightly for a moment, then eased up peering over his shoulder into Nagi's face.  "Ohayo."

"Ohayo.  Did I disturb you?"

"Not at all.  I just woke up.  I could see you standing here.  Thinking?"

"Aa."  He leaned back in his lover's embrace.  "Looks like it will be another nice day, ne?"

"Hai.  Of course… any day I actually get to spend with you is a nice day."  He smiled.  "Breakfast?"

"Yes."  His stomach growled, echoing the sentiment.

"Okay, how about I get some fruit and stuff and you make the coffee and we have breakfast out on the beach?"

"Sounds good."

**_~Warm with a mystery / I may reveal to you~_**

They spent the day the way they had the previous ones, playing in the surf, walking along the beach, reading peacefully on the sand.  Omi was dedicated to returning to Japan with a bit of a tan to make Youji envious, Nagi was equally determined to prevent burning.  He had discovered on previous occasions that he didn't tan easy… more likely to burn and peel than anything else.  Sometimes he wondered if he really WAS wholly Japanese.

That evening found them sharing a hammock that had been strung in the tree line, Nagi sitting between Omi's legs and leaning back against him.  They listened to the night coming alive around them, absently slapping at the occasional insect the light breeze coming in off the water didn't send away.

The fingers of one of Nagi's hands were twined with Omi's, the others lightly stroking the pendent that rested at his throat.  He hadn't been wearing it during the day, not wanting to risk damage by salt or sand.  He didn't know if the water would hurt the metal, so he didn't wear it.  But in the evening, he put it back on; at home… he rarely took it off.  He thought about what it meant… a promise… a promise for the future.

**_~In time (Time holds the heart's key)~_**

Omi finally whispered in his ear.  "Do you realize… it's almost been a year…"

The brunette smiled and nodded.  "Hai… we should consider this our anniversary, who knows if we'll actually be able to celebrate it."

"True.  The promise is still there you know."

"I know."

Omi hugged him a bit tighter.  "In time."

**_~Key to everything is love (Love makes the heart flower)~_**

"Yes… in time."  Nagi turned a bit so he could kiss his lover.  They broke apart minutes later, breathless.

"You never get tired of that, do you?"

"No."  Nagi smiled.  "I'm saving up."

"Oh… I see, shall we go inside and see what else you can save up?"

**_~Flowers into a deep desire (Passion in the heart's fire)~_**

"Or we can see what kind of trouble we can get into right here.  How flexible are you?"

Omi groaned and shifted.  Nagi could feel him already swelling against his back.  "But what about…"  The brunette held up the small tube he'd pocketed on a whim earlier.  "Ah, you little minx…"  The tone was affectionate; he chuckled and reached down to fondle Nagi through his shorts.  "I think I'm up for some acrobatics, how bout you?"

"Won't know till we've tried, will we?"

"Suppose not, but if you throw your back out completely it's all your fault, remember."

"It's feeling great today."  Nagi shifted carefully so he was laying on Omi, chest to chest.  "Besides… it's like making love in a swing…"

The blonde's smile widened. "So it is.  Now come up here and let me ravish you properly."

He pulled himself up a bit to be level with his lover.  "I thought you'd never ask…"

**_~Passion and desire~_**

~Owari~

A/N: KAWAII… I just want to hang in the trees and take lots of pictures.  It's now almost 10 pm… and except for making dinner, which took maybe a half hour and taking a bath… another half hour, I've been writing since before noon.  I've been working on this one since about 5… pausing while Gundam Seed was on… I worked during the commercials.  ^_~  I guess when my muse gets in the mood to work she REALLY wants to work.  Today I've done two parts of RK, finished my Nuri fic that's been hanging over my head for a year AND wrote this!

I have to say, thank you to Microsoft Encarta for the convenient info on Hawaii.  Inspiration for sending the boys there?  It's warmer than here.  Yes… Japan is damn cold right now!  Even down here on Kyushu.  I enjoyed the equatorial warmth of Singapore immensely and figured the boys needed a nice warm place too… I know lots of Japanese like to go to Hawaii and thought, beaches, tropical paradise, isolation… yeah, that would be good.  Oh and Nagi obviously WASN'T flying on Singapore Airlines back from Taipei.  ^_~  

Dedication List: As I said at the top, this is going to be long (so long, I had to break it up, it was too hard to read as a block).  First of all, thanks to Koe and her family for letting me stay with them while I was thawing out in Singapore; 

also thanks to Shoori and Aoe who sent me the absolute best (warmest and most comfortable) slippers for Christmas among other essentials; 

to the Sisterhood: Kiki, Ami, Miki, Yachii, Koe, and Ikari (who I never see online anymore since I have to use MSN messenger) the people who chat with me while I'm at work and bored out of my mind; 

to other wonderful online friends (who I also never see anymore) Truth, Amber, Zhara, NekoSandy, and Cat; 

to my wonderful reviewers… you know, the people who take the time to click that little button even just to say 'I liked it'… you know THEM… the people a feedback whore like myself adores, and better still are the ones that actually write to me privately ^__^  (pssst… if you leave an email addy with your review, I will probably write to you, I'm a teacher and a firm believer in positive reinforcement); 

the members of the NagiML and the OmiML, especially the ones who take the time to write to me; ^_~  

and finally… last but certainly not least… to Enigma… aka E-sama the Llama and his darling chibis (who are probably a bit too young to read this but will likely be tickled by the dedication none-the-less), for the best feedback and best fics that I have had the pleasure of reading (still waiting breathlessly for more of Neutral Territory and/or the sequel to CNR… but I'm not pushy… I understand that the Saiyuki fans need to be kept happy as well, fortunately… I also adore Hakkai!)… okay… that's enough… if I've forgotten anyone, please forgive me… I've only been writing for 10 hours straight… more or less… damn pushy muse…  ^___^


End file.
